Quotes

[BlueDragon1981]

Simple. Post any quotes you like... um well as long as they follow rules of the forum. Most should.

The nice part about being a pessimist is that you are constantly being either proven right or pleasantly surprised.
- George F. Will
You must not think me necessarily foolish because I am facetious, nor will I consider you necessarily wise because you are grave.
- Sydney Smith
I'm tired of all this nonsense about beauty being only skin-deep. That's deep enough. What do you want, an adorable pancreas?
- Jean Kerr
As I was walking up the stair / I met a man who wasn't there. / He wasn't there again today. / I wish, I wish he'd stay away.
- Hughes Mearns
There are only two kinds of people who are really fascinating: people who know absolutely everything, and people who know absolutely nothing.
- Oscar Wilde
We learn something every day, and lots of times it's that what we learned the day before was wrong.
- Bill Vaughan
Politics is the skilled use of blunt objects.
- Lester B. Pearson
Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
- Elbert Hubbard
Conscience is what makes a boy tell his mother before his sister does.
- Evan Esar

 

[Xue Sheng]

"Never trust a computer you can't throw out a window" - Steve Wozniak

"Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed by those who are dumber." - Plato

“You can't depend on your judgment when your imagination is out of focus” - Mark Twain

“I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.” - Groucho Marx

 

[bostonbomber]

Work is the curse of the Drinking class
- Oscar Wilde
Screw you guys, I'm going home
- Eric Cartman

 

[BrandonLucas]

Never tell me the odds.
-Han Solo

 

[MA-Caver]

http://www.quoteworld.org/quotes/1If guns are outlawed, only the government will have guns. Only the police, the secret police, the military, the hired servants of our rulers. Only the government -- and a few outlaws. I intend to be among the outlaws. ~Edward Abbey

But what do we mean by the American Revolution? Do we mean the American War? The revolution was effected before the war commenced. The revolution was in the minds and hearts of the people. ~Geoffrey F. Abert

Just because the solutions of problems are not visible at any particular time does not mean those problems will never be alleviated -- or confined to tolerable dimensions. History has a way of changing the very terms in which problems operate and of leaving them in the end, unsolved, to be sure, yet strangely deflated of their original meaning and importance. ~ M.I. Abramowitz

Women have been trained to speak softly and carry lipstick... Those days are over! ~ Bella Abzug

 

[CoryKS]

"Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son." - Dean Wormer

 

[fnorfurfoot]

"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe." - Albert Einstein
"Whether you tell yourself that you can or you can't, you are going to be right. It's your choice." - Henry Ford

 

[ackks10]

“Ignorance is the curse of God; knowledge is the wing wherewith we fly to heaven.”
- William Shakespeare (1564-1616)

Groucho Marx - “From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.”

Groucho Marx - “Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.”

Walt Whitman - “I believe a leaf of grass is no less than the journeywork of the stars.”

 

[Xue Sheng]

Programing today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning. --- Unknown

 

[BlueDragon1981]

If people never did silly things, nothing intelligent would ever get done.
- Ludwig Wittgenstein
You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.
- Dave Barry
Talent hits a target no one else can hit; Genius hits a target no one else can see.
- Arthur Schopenhauer
Democracy means government by discussion, but it is only effective if you can stop people talking.
- Clement Atlee
Some have been thought brave because they were afraid to run away.
- Thomas Fuller
Baseball is 90% mental, the other half is physical.
- Yogi Berra
If you don't know what to do, call the media and at least give the appearance of doing something.
- David Peterson
Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.
- Jane Wagner
Public speaking is the art of diluting a two-minute idea with a two-hour vocabulary.
- Evan Esar

Ethics are so annoying. I avoid them on principle.
- Darby Conley
How my achievements mock me!
- William Shakespeare
I like persons better than principles, and I like persons with no principles better than anything else in the world.
- Oscar Wilde
A man is rich in proportion to the number of things he can afford to let alone.
- Henry David Thoreau
Elections are won by men and women chiefly because most people vote against somebody rather than for somebody.
- Franklin P. Adams
The only time people dislike gossip is when you gossip about them.
- Will Rogers
The only time to buy these is on a day with no 'y' in it.
- Warren Buffett
There was a time when we expected nothing of our children but obedience, as opposed to the present, when we expect everything of them but obedience.
- Anatole Broyard
Science may set limits to knowledge, but should not set limits to imagination.
- Bertrand Russell

An optimist stays up to see the New Year in. A pessimist waits to make sure the old one leaves.
- Bill Vaughan
Count Hermann Keyserling once said truly that the greatest American superstition was belief in facts.
- John Gunther
For a successful technology, reality must take precedence over public relations, for Nature cannot be fooled.
- Richard Feynman
The remarkable thing about Shakespeare is that he really is very good, in spite of all the people who say he is very good.
- Robert Graves
No one who cannot rejoice in the discovery of his own mistakes deserves to be called a scholar.
- Donald Foster
A magician pulls rabbits out of hats. An experimental psychologist pulls habits out of rats.
- Anonymous
No man ever listened himself out of a job.
- Calvin Coolidge
The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.
- Mark Twain
I don't understand the sizes anymore. There's a size zero, which I didn't even know that they had. It must stand for: 'Ohhh my God, you're thin.'
- Ellen DeGeneres

My definition of an expert in any field is a person who knows enough about what's really going on to be scared.
- PJ Plauger
Life is far too important a thing ever to talk seriously about.
- Oscar Wilde
I've wrestled with reality for 35 years, Doctor, and I'm happy to state I finally won out over it.
- Mary Chase
Crime does not pay ... as well as politics.
- Alfred E. Newman
The things we know best are the things we haven't been taught.
- Marquis de Vauvenargues
When a thing ceases to be a subject of controversy, it ceases to be a subject of interest.
- William Hazlitt
If you don't find it in the index, look very carefully through the entire catalogue.
- Unknown
Democracy is a process by which the people are free to choose the man who will get the blame.
- Laurence J. Peter
I'm seventeen and I'm crazy. My uncle says the two always go together. When people ask your age, he said, always say seventeen and insane.
- Ray Bradbury

In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is stoned to death.
- Joan D. Vinge
When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth.
- George Bernard Shaw
I never did give them hell. I just told the truth, and they thought it was hell.
- Harry S Truman
I have a rock garden. Last week three of them died.
- Richard Diran
Although prepared for martyrdom, I preferred that it be postponed.
- Sir Winston Churchill
You can't find any true closeness in Hollywood, because everybody does the fake closeness so well.
- Carrie Fisher
A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but won't cross the street to vote in a national election.
- Bill Vaughan
Eat a live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.
- Unknown
I was always taught to respect my elders and I've now reached the age when I don't have anybody to respect.
- George Burns

 

[BlueDragon1981]

Programing today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning. --- Unknown

I like this one. Definitely a good one.


Here is a fun one....

Larry the Cable Guy - "If guns kill people then I can blame misspelled words on my pencil"

 

[JadecloudAlchemist]

"No genius is without an admixture of maddness"-Aristole

"Do you think I couldn't have learned the system too"-Ashida Kim an email to me concerning His Iron body Ninja book


"If you suffer thank god!!-It is a sure sign that you are alive"-Elbert Hubbard

 

[BlueDragon1981]

You know, you can't please all the people all the time... and last night, all those people were at my show.
- Mitch Hedberg
I write down everything I want to remember. That way, instead of spending a lot of time trying to remember what it is I wrote down, I spend the time looking for the paper I wrote it down on.
- Beryl Pfizer
The last time somebody said, 'I find I can write much better with a word processor.', I replied, 'They used to say the same thing about drugs.'
- Roy Blount Jr.
A bore is a man who, when you ask him how he is, tells you.
- Bert Leston Taylor
We can have facts without thinking but we cannot have thinking without facts.
- John Dewey
Look for the ridiculous in everything and you will find it.
- Jules Renard
Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.
- Douglas Adams
When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.
- Mark Twain
The nice part about being a pessimist is that you are constantly being either proven right or pleasantly surprised.
- George F. Will