parenting advice

[bushidomartialarts]

hey all,

so my wife and i are very likely (about 90%) going to be adopting a 6 year old boy this summer. we're both very (very VERY) experienced with other peoples' children, but are aware that when it's your own little one running about everything changes.

any thoughts, advice, recommended reading on parenting, especially adoptive parenting would be appreciated.

thank you all

jason

 

[Tames D]

Hey Jason -

Congratulations. Hope you go through with it. I'm sure you and your wife would give him a great life.

My wife and I adopted our two boys. Our 7 year old when he was four months and our 5 year old at birth. It was the best decision we ever made. We made a decision early in out marriage that we didn't want to have kids ( it would cramp our fast lane lifestyle, LOL). But these situations came up and the boys needed us. I don't even think of them as adopted. I can't imagine life without them.

I'll look through our bookshelves and get some titles of some good books for you regarding raising adoptive kid's.

Take care.

 

[jks9199]

Congratulations & best of luck to you.

I don't give parenting advice; if I'm there and dealing with them, it's already too late for parenting advice.

I would suggest that you consider getting some more specific advice on adopting older children; a lot of personality traits are already at least well on their way to being established by 6, and some changes may need to be handled very carefully because of this.

 

[Ceicei]

Is there an adoption support group near you? The people in this group would be a good resource.

- Ceicei

 

[ArmorOfGod]

My wife and I were starting the international adoption process when we got pregnant with our twin boys.
I am so impressed that you and Qui-Gon are adoptive parents. God bless you both.
The only advice I can give you is to not listen to other people's advice.
;-)

AoG

 

[Tez3]

My wife and I were starting the international adoption process when we got pregnant with our twin boys.
I am so impressed that you and Qui-Gon are adoptive parents. God bless you both.
The only advice I can give you is to not listen to other people's advice.
;-)

AoG

I have to go with all the sentiments expressed above! Go with what you feel is right! Children even those born to you don't come with an operating manual so your own instincts and feelings are the best guide always. I would say don't doubt yourselves though.

 

[JasonASmith]

Take it as it comes...
You were taught right from wrong as a child...apply what you've learned for yourself to what you will teach to the child...
Let common sense dictate your actions, don't overthink things...
My grandmother(God rest her soul) taught me these things before she passed on, and I've followed it as well as I can...it works, period.

 

[terryl965]

I have to go with all the sentiments expressed above! Go with what you feel is right! Children even those born to you don't come with an operating manual so your own instincts and feelings are the best guide always. I would say don't doubt yourselves though.

Tez and AOG has given what I would say so good luck and God Bless both of you for adopting.

 

[Brian R. VanCise]

Children even those born to you don't come with an operating manual so your own instincts and feelings are the best guide always. I would say don't doubt yourselves though.

Definately good advice here!

 

[bydand]

I can't add anything that hasn't already been said about advice. Just have to add my congratulations and :asian:. I think this is a wonderful thing you are looking at doing!

 

[exile]

I can't add anything that hasn't already been said about advice. Just have to add my congratulations and :asian:. I think this is a wonderful thing you are looking at doing!

My feelings exactly!

 

[Jade Tigress]

I can't add anything that hasn't already been said about advice. Just have to add my congratulations and :asian:. I think this is a wonderful thing you are looking at doing!

What Scott said. Congratulations! I hope everything goes through as planned and you and your wife can give this precious child the loving home he deserves. Don't worry, you'll do great!

 

[CoryKS]

Congratulations and good luck! As for advice, hug him every chance you get because they grow up FAST.

 

[Kacey]

I can't add anything that hasn't already been said about advice. Just have to add my congratulations and :asian:. I think this is a wonderful thing you are looking at doing!

Likewise - what Scott said. I also agree with finding a support group for parents who adopt older children. Depending on where this child is living now, I would also contact the school he is coming from and the school he will be in next year, and let them know what is going on - there are a lot of resources in many schools that could help you, and many others available by referral from the school. As a teacher, I will also say that the teacher will thank you for letting her/him know what's going on, and should be happy to talk to you about any behaviors/concerns/emotions seen from the child in the classroom - kids are often much different at school than at home, especially when dealing with changes, and this could really help you and the child adjust, and help him do better in school to boot.

Good luck to you, and congratulations again!

 

[Tames D]

hey all,

so my wife and i are very likely (about 90%) going to be adopting a 6 year old boy this summer. we're both very (very VERY) experienced with other peoples' children, but are aware that when it's your own little one running about everything changes.

any thoughts, advice, recommended reading on parenting, especially adoptive parenting would be appreciated.

thank you all

jason

I responded to your PM.

I'm proud of you dude...

 

[jetboatdeath]

Best advice simply have fun with them every day.

 

[zDom]

Let them know that you ALWAYS love them, no matter what — that you will NEVER stop loving them.

You may not always approve of their actions, but you ALWAYS love them.

 

[Ping898]

I can't add anything that hasn't already been said about advice. Just have to add my congratulations and :asian:. I think this is a wonderful thing you are looking at doing!

Ditto to this and to the suggestion of seeing if a support group in your area is available!

 

[jim777]

Let them know that you ALWAYS love them, no matter what — that you will NEVER stop loving them.

You may not always approve of their actions, but you ALWAYS love them.

Amen to that!

And I'd like to add that what you're doing is an incredibly loving, generous, thoughtful, and selfless thing. It won't always be easy, but a home and family is such an amazing gift to give. All the best to you and your new family!

jim