I'm afraid that we have a fundamental difference in basic character and values here. I believe that the truth is better than lies.
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How can you hope for enlightened students if you see nothing wrong with giving them falsehood?
I'm sorry... I missed the part where he said he told lies. There is a difference between providing the promise of being more than you are - which is what kept me in TKD from the beginning - and telling lies. Do I believe that TKD will protect me from every possible scenario? No - or I wouldn't practice avoidance.
I'm sorry about your friend's death, and I understand why your other friend doesn't teach those techniques - but that doesn't mean that all students start a MA training for the express purpose of learning to fight, any more than it means that every technique taught anywhere by anyone is going to be effective.
Learning how to fight is one of the most fundamentally legitimate reasons for learning martial arts.
I started TKD because my then-boyfriend dragged me into it - I stayed, because I learned that I could do things that I would previously have considered too hard, and never would have tried otherwise. I stayed because I enjoyed the learning for the sake of learning and improving myself. Do you consider that a "fundamentally legitimate reason" or not? And do you understand that while many students do, indeed, begin MA training for "fundamentally legitimate reasons", many do not, such as those who wish to emulate the Kobra Kai in
The Karate Kid - a movie I greatly enjoy, but which nonetheless did a great deal of damage to the perception of martial arts in general, because the Kobra Kai is what a lot more new students wanted to emulate than Daniel - and even those who wanted to be Daniel thought it would be as easy, and as quick, as it looked in the movie.
As a teacher you don't want them to fight for the wrong reasons. So you have to be selective about whom you teach. And you have to encourage the hotheads and the potential bad ones to change or leave.
I have several students now, and had others in the past, who have had trouble with anger management or other forms of emotional control - and every single one of them has told me, at one point or another, that TKD taught them the discipline to help them with their particular problem(s) - including one young man who finally, 10 years after being diagnosed with juvenile diabetes, got his diabetes under his complete control, and was finally cleared by his doctor to get his driver's license - at nearly 19. Not an emotional problem, I realize - but representative of the type of student many instructors won't take, because his diabetes required extra time, knowledge, and awareness on
my part, that many instructors wouldn't provide. I know quite a few instructors who would have refused many of these students, because they were the "hotheads and potential bad ones", and they needed a lot more work - but they were, one and all, worthy of instruction.
So tell me, if lying to those who trust you to tell the truth is not reprehensible, what is your personal standard of honor and integrity? I don't want to hear the dojo kun. I want to know from the heart what your limits are as a man and as a trusted teacher.
I should let Mr. Arnold answer for himself - as I know full well that he is capable of doing so, as he has been my sahbum for the past 20 years. However, I know from experience that his primary concern is for the welfare of his students, and that the only people who come before his students are his family. He has never lied to me, or to anyone else that I am aware of, and he has demonstrated a personal integrity that I greatly admire. He expects the best from each person he teaches, and does his best to help that person attain their personal best.
So what is the purpose of mystification in MA? Sometimes nothing. Sometimes it is necessary to get a student started, so s/he can learn what is not visible on the surface of the MA. Should it continue past that point? No, I don't think so - but like anything else, mystification has its place, as long as it is used appropriately, and the truth is taught once it brings a student to the school. What does
The Karate Kid have to do with it? It was based on the mystification of the martial arts - from multiple perspectives, as described above - and it brought quite a few students in to martial arts; however, it brought them under false pretenses, and
that kind of mystification I think we can do without.