My coach won't promote me (bjj)

[Jonathan15]

Hey guys.
So i've been training bjj (gracie method) for almost 2 years now, 3 times a week per average.

I think i'm doing ok, technique wise. I'm not the most talented student, but I don't suck as well.
I'm doing pretty ok against other students with the same amount of training as me.

Anyway, we had this seminar like a week ago.
My coach decided to promote students who had started training after me (one student who got promoted started 4 months after me). They all got their blue belt and I was left out.

I think there may be a few reasons why he didn't promote me to blue belt:

1. I'm a shy, quiet person. The gym likes to refer themselves as "family", but i don't feel like i manage to blend in. I mean, i've been training for almost 2 years now, and i haven't really been talking to my coach (besides asking about techniques once in a while).
I have a few "gym friends", but never had a healthy relationship with my coaches.

2. Despite rolling well with my colleagues, in the few times i had rolled with my coach, i felt like i did bad. I wasn't able to apply the techniques as well as i do with my training partners. I felt like he went pretty hard on me actually..

So, now i'm in this confusing place. It's been almost a week since i last went to the gym, mostly because i feel unwanted. Maybe it's all in my had, but i really feel like my coach doesn't like me.

Anyway, i'm just feeling pretty bad right now.

Thanks for reading!

 

[Headhunter]

Are you really going to stop training because you didn’t get a piece of coloured cloth?...the belt really means nothing whether it’s a blue belt a white or a black belt the colour of the belt doesn’t change your ability level. If you enjoy the training keep going and if you never get promoted then hey you’ll be the best white belt ever and dominate in competitions. As for not being able to do well against the instructor....well I should hope you can’t..because if you could keep up with him then there’s something very wrong as for him going hard. Then good it means you’re getting a good workout and a good roll you learn more getting your *** kicked then you do dominating some lower people.

just enjoy it and don’t even worry about belts. More than likely he simply doesn’t think your ready for it. That’s also a good thing as it means he isn’t just giving them out for the sake of it. Whether it’s because he doesn’t like you or not. Who knows but to me as long as the trainings good I’m not fussed I’m there to train not socialise. Not saying I don’t talk to people because of course I do but it’s not my reason for going in. The simple fact is time really doesn’t matter in bjj. Those guys simply might be better than you....there’s no shame in that everyone progresses at different rates and when they think you’re ready you’ll get it

 

[dvcochran]

Hey guys.
So i've been training bjj (gracie method) for almost 2 years now, 3 times a week per average.

I think i'm doing ok, technique wise. I'm not the most talented student, but I don't suck as well.
I'm doing pretty ok against other students with the same amount of training as me.

Anyway, we had this seminar like a week ago.
My coach decided to promote students who had started training after me (one student who got promoted started 4 months after me). They all got their blue belt and I was left out.

I think there may be a few reasons why he didn't promote me to blue belt:

1. I'm a shy, quiet person. The gym likes to refer themselves as "family", but i don't feel like i manage to blend in. I mean, i've been training for almost 2 years now, and i haven't really been talking to my coach (besides asking about techniques once in a while).
I have a few "gym friends", but never had a healthy relationship with my coaches.

2. Despite rolling well with my colleagues, in the few times i had rolled with my coach, i felt like i did bad. I wasn't able to apply the techniques as well as i do with my training partners. I felt like he went pretty hard on me actually..

So, now i'm in this confusing place. It's been almost a week since i last went to the gym, mostly because i feel unwanted. Maybe it's all in my had, but i really feel like my coach doesn't like me.

Anyway, i'm just feeling pretty bad right now.

Thanks for reading!

Well, if you use the coach as the standard, which I think is logical for anyone new to something, I imagine the results speak for themselves. I don't mean that to sound harsh, I mean it as motivation to move out of your comfort zone and challenge yourself and your coach more. Not in a threatening way but in the search for information and betterment. You have put in ample time but has it all been 'quality' time?
Talk to your coach. Try to noodle out a solid plan for what you need to reach the next level. Then exceed the plan. This is a YOU thing. Not what your coach or someone else does for you just because you 'put in the time'.

 

[Bruce7]

Hey guys.
So i've been training bjj (gracie method) for almost 2 years now, 3 times a week per average.

I think i'm doing ok, technique wise. I'm not the most talented student, but I don't suck as well.
I'm doing pretty ok against other students with the same amount of training as me.

Anyway, we had this seminar like a week ago.
My coach decided to promote students who had started training after me (one student who got promoted started 4 months after me). They all got their blue belt and I was left out.

I think there may be a few reasons why he didn't promote me to blue belt:

1. I'm a shy, quiet person. The gym likes to refer themselves as "family", but i don't feel like i manage to blend in. I mean, i've been training for almost 2 years now, and i haven't really been talking to my coach (besides asking about techniques once in a while).
I have a few "gym friends", but never had a healthy relationship with my coaches.

2. Despite rolling well with my colleagues, in the few times i had rolled with my coach, i felt like i did bad. I wasn't able to apply the techniques as well as i do with my training partners. I felt like he went pretty hard on me actually..

So, now i'm in this confusing place. It's been almost a week since i last went to the gym, mostly because i feel unwanted. Maybe it's all in my had, but i really feel like my coach doesn't like me.

Anyway, i'm just feeling pretty bad right now.

Thanks for reading!

I have never taken BBJ. My background was mostly TKD and Long Fist.
Don't worry about the belt.
I know it was wrong, but it was so much fun to go to a new school with a white belt and
humble a black belt.

My Kung Fu teacher was probably my best teacher.
I am not sure if he ever liked me.
I was the the only white guy in the class and he charged me a lot more than the other students.
He was harder on me than any student in the class.
I feel like he was trying to make me quit.
I was very good at TKD going into his class.
He was so much better than me, he made look stupid all the time.
He made me humble , I empty my cup.
And began to learn much quicker.
Your teacher being hard on you is a good thing.
It means he cares about teaching you.

My teacher could have taken the money and not paid any attention to me.

 

[Tony Dismukes]

BJJ instructor here. Belt promotions in BJJ generally aren't based on time. They're based on consistently demonstrating skill on the mats. I've had students who were ready for their blue belt in 6 months. I've had others who took 6 years to get to the same point.

That's not to say you should expect to wait another 4 years for your promotion. Very often when considering a list of students to be promoted, my fellow instructors and I will look at a given student and say "he's almost ready for the next belt - but he's not quite there." Maybe they have a good top game but we want to see their bottom game develop more or vice versa. Maybe we've seen them recently start rolling at the level we expect for the next belt, but we want to wait a little while to see that they're consistent and not just having a good day. Maybe we see that they're relying primarily on their physical attributes to win and not using enough technique.

Also sometimes a student just gets missed, for whatever reason. They don't get promoted on a given day, but as the weeks go by we notice, "
Man, so-and-so is doing really well against all the people who just got promoted. We should probably promote them next time we do this."

Bottom line, belts aren't an indicator of how much your coach wants you around the gym. I've had students I really liked and was really rooting for who took a long time to become ready for a promotion.

 

[Tony Dismukes]

Despite rolling well with my colleagues, in the few times i had rolled with my coach, i felt like i did bad. I wasn't able to apply the techniques as well as i do with my training partners. I felt like he went pretty hard on me actually..

One more thing. When I roll with most white belts, I don't expect them to be able to successfully apply any of their techniques against me unless I allow them to. What I've looking for is whether they are attempting the right things. Are they going for moves which are appropriate for the moment? How well are they remembering the details of the techniques they are trying? Are they staying calm? Do they keep moving? Do they know their moves instinctively rather than having to stop and think about what to do next? That sort of thing.

 

[Jonathan15]

Are you really going to stop training because you didn’t get a piece of coloured cloth?...the belt really means nothing whether it’s a blue belt a white or a black belt the colour of the belt doesn’t change your ability level. If you enjoy the training keep going and if you never get promoted then hey you’ll be the best white belt ever and dominate in competitions. As for not being able to do well against the instructor....well I should hope you can’t..because if you could keep up with him then there’s something very wrong as for him going hard. Then good it means you’re getting a good workout and a good roll you learn more getting your *** kicked then you do dominating some lower people.

just enjoy it and don’t even worry about belts. More than likely he simply doesn’t think your ready for it. That’s also a good thing as it means he isn’t just giving them out for the sake of it. Whether it’s because he doesn’t like you or not. Who knows but to me as long as the trainings good I’m not fussed I’m there to train not socialise. Not saying I don’t talk to people because of course I do but it’s not my reason for going in

Hey man, thanks a lot fot the reply.
I really don't mind not getting promoted. But seeing my other peers, who started after me and are not better than me, get promoted while i'm being left out made me feel really bad.

BJJ instructor here. Belt promotions in BJJ generally aren't based on time. They're based on consistently demonstrating skill on the mats. I've had students who were ready for their blue belt in 6 months. I've had others who took 6 years to get to the same point.

That's not to say you should expect to wait another 4 years for your promotion. Very often when considering a list of students to be promoted, my fellow instructors and I will look at a given student and say "he's almost ready for the next belt - but he's not quite there." Maybe they have a good top game but we want to see their bottom game develop more or vice versa. Maybe we've seen them recently start rolling at the level we expect for the next belt, but we want to wait a little while to see that they're consistent and not just having a good day. Maybe we see that they're relying primarily on their physical attributes to win and not using enough technique.

Also sometimes a student just gets missed, for whatever reason. They don't get promoted on a given day, but as the weeks go by we notice, "
Man, so-and-so is doing really well against all the people who just got promoted. We should probably promote them next time we do this."

Bottom line, belts aren't an indicator of how much your coach wants you around the gym. I've had students I really liked and was really rooting for who took a long time to become ready for a promotion.

Thank you for your comment. It's really interesting to here your perspective on this.

But why would an instructor promote X, if X isn't better than Y, isn't training more often than Y, and joined the gym almost half a year after?

I'm trying to be as objective and as humble as possible, those guys who got promoted, aren't better than me in any way.

Thanka again.

 

[Headhunter]

Hey man, thanks a lot fot the reply.
I really don't mind not getting promoted. But seeing my other peers, who started after me and are not better than me, get promoted while i'm being left out made me feel really bad.




Thank you for your comment. It's really interesting to here your perspective on this.

But why would an instructor promote X, if X isn't better than Y, isn't training more often than Y, and joined the gym almost half a year after?

I'm trying to be as objective and as humble as possible, those guys who got promoted, aren't better than me in any way.

Thanka again.

Not better than you?...well honestly that’s not for you to say if they are or not. He’s the black belt he knows what he’s looking for more The instructor thinks they are That’s the way it is. If you stop because of this then they’ll continue to get better and you won’t ever get it. If you carry on eventually you will.

sorry but you saying “they aren’t better in any way” that is arrogant and that kind of attitude can be a contributing factor in not getting promoted. If you have that arrogance here you probably show flashes of it in training and experienced coaches can pick out those character traits. You’re a white belt with 2 years of training...why do you know better than an instructor who’s way way more experienced than you. Basically you didn’t get a belt so you can either quit because of it which would mean you will never get better or get the belt. Or you can suck it up and carry on keep improving and one day get it. Whether it’s next week, next month, next year, next 10 years it’ll come eventually when you’re ready for it

 

[Tony Dismukes]

But why would an instructor promote X, if X isn't better than Y, isn't training more often than Y, and joined the gym almost half a year after?

When X and Y joined the gym is irrelevant. How often they train is relevant, but mostly only in that it affects how often your instructor sees them to be able to evaluate their ability.

The primary issue is your assertion that “X isn’t any better than Y.” To be blunt, you aren’t in as good a position to judge that as your instructor is.

It’s not as simple as “when X and Y roll, they win about equally often.” Other things your instructor may be looking at include:
How do X and Y do when rolling with other people?
How much are X and Y relying on physical attributes rather than technique?
How well rounded are their games? Is Y missing a particular skill set?
What sort of mindset to they display while rolling?

Also, remember that the difference may not be that large. Your instructor might judge that X is just barely ready for his blue belt and Y is 95% of the way there, just not quite not yet.

Regardless, don’t worry about it. If your classmates get promoted to blue while you don’t but then you regularly tap them out while wearing your white belt, you will get noticed and promoted eventually.*

*(This presumes that your physical attributes are comparable to the classmates in question. If you’re only tapping them out because you’re much bigger, stronger and younger, then you’ll need more than that to advance.)

 

[Jonathan15]

Not better than you?...well honestly that’s not for you to say if they are or not. He’s the black belt he knows what he’s looking for more The instructor thinks they are That’s the way it is. If you stop because of this then they’ll continue to get better and you won’t ever get it. If you carry on eventually you will.

sorry but you saying “they aren’t better in any way” that is arrogant and that kind of attitude can be a contributing factor in not getting promoted. If you have that arrogance here you probably show flashes of it in training and experienced coaches can pick out those character traits. You’re a white belt with 2 years of training...why do you know better than an instructor who’s way way more experienced than you. Basically you didn’t get a belt so you can either quit because of it which would mean you will never get better or get the belt. Or you can suck it up and carry on keep improving and one day get it. Whether it’s next week, next month, next year, next 10 years it’ll come eventually when you’re ready for it

Hey, thanks again.
I don't think i'm an arrogant person nor i have a bad attitude

The only reason i felt like quitting is because i feel unwanted by my instructor. I don't want to be in a place where i'm i'm unwanted, that's all.

Look, i train with these people constantly. i don't think they know more techniques than me, and i never feel like i'm being overskilled (not sure if that's a word) while training (with people with the time of training as me of course). It's just the way it is man, i'm really not trying to be arrogant in any way.

Doesn't matter though.. i'll still come to classes because i do want to get better and because i enjoy bjj.

 

[Headhunter]

Hey, thanks again.
I don't think i'm an arrogant person nor i have a bad attitude

The only reason i felt like quitting is because i feel unwanted by my instructor. I don't want to be in a place where i'm i'm unwanted, that's all.

Look, i train with these people constantly. i don't think they know more techniques than me, and i never feel like i'm being overskilled (not sure if that's a word) while training (with people with the time of training as me of course). It's just the way it is man, i'm really not trying to be arrogant in any way.

Doesn't matter though.. i'll still come to classes because i do want to get better and because i enjoy bjj.

It doesn’t matter how many techniques you know and it’s not about how many people you can beat either. It’s understanding of the art. Just because someone might be naturally more skilled or more athletic doesn’t mean your better at bjj. Those guys maybe they can’t beat you but it’s not all about that at all. Maybe they understand the technique better, maybe they’ve got better defence and awareness. There’s so much more than just beating someone. But if you want to know why...ask

 

[isshinryuronin]

Getting passed over for a promotion one thinks he deserves can be disheartening and lead to self doubt and loss of motivation. This is a completely normal reaction. But MA teaches one to overcome such things. Do you quit after getting a punch or two? How about when you end up on your back, or have to submit to an arm bar? If so, you are in the wrong sport. The good martial artist should think "How did that left hand find my jaw? Was my guard too low? Did I not anticipate that counter? Was my leg too far out? Did I leave myself off balance after missing that kick? You must be able to objectively analyze your weaknesses before you can get better. (But I think it's your instructor's job to help you do this.)

Maybe you're missing something less concrete that your instructor feels you should have to be promoted? Pushing yourself harder? More heart? More aggression? More perseverance in the face of adversity? These things are harder or near impossible to teach. Self introspection is needed and a commitment to overcome yourself.

Of course, instead of all this thinking and soul searching, you can just ask your coach, "What do you feel I need to work on to get to the next level?" Ring control. You have to exert some control over events that affect you. This means not only your opponents, but coaches as well (just don't BS them and show respect.)

Regardless of the belt color, if you keep working, learning getting stronger and getting more successful with your techniques, you are accomplishing what you're at the gym for. In other words, you're winning.

 

[skribs]

I don't train BJJ, but there's a coach who posts a lot of advice videos on youtube. Might want to check him out. I think this video directly addresses your question:

 

[Monkey Turned Wolf]

Have you tried talking to your instructor about this? I think dv and tony hit the nail on the head here. There's probably some part of your game that your missing, or needs to be brought to the next level. If you ask what they feel you could improve on, or more bluntly just ask what's wrong with your game that's keeping you at white belt, they'll give you better info than anyone here.

 

[KenpoMaster805]

Its ok Bro if you dont get promoted right away just take your time for me took me 3 years just to test for my 2nd brown on kenpo i thought i wasn't even gonna test too until one day i ask my instructor if i can test for pretesting and he let me and guess what i pass my test and i took my real test on may 21 and i pass you just have to prove them wrong and dont be negative stay positive

 

[drop bear]

Compete.

 

[Buka]

Welcome to Martial Talk, Jonathan. Hope you enjoy it.

I've trained in a lot of arts, have some belts. My BJJ white belt being my unquestioned favorite.

Just keep going, try to enjoy the process. From reading your post you're obviously learning. Go gettum', kid.

And Drop Bear gave some good advice, maybe go compete, have even more fun. Your coaches will notice it, too.

 

[Danny T]

As a coach my advice...
Talk to your coach/instructor not about testing or promotion but rather ask what should you do or work on to be a better BJJ student/practitioner.

While skill is one of the most important aspects of promotion it usually isn't the only criteria. The thing is in most every BJJ academy there is somebody that has been training Jiu-Jitsu for years, sometimes even more years than most of the others and they are still stuck at their current belt.

Why won’t the instructor promote them? Every instructor has their own set of criteria and more times than not the student simply doesn't fulfill them yet. Progressing through the ranks in Jiu-Jitsu is a long, arduous process and students should focus on improving themselves, instead of being obsessed by belts.

A few questions to ask yourself and talk with your coach about…

- What do you feel I need to work on to have a better attitude toward training?

- Am I making the same mistakes all the time? If so, I want to get better what do I need to do to be better student?

- Am I using too much strength and not enough technique? What can I do to be more efficient with my techniques and how do I go about using less strength?

- Should I be competing or competing more often?

- Do I use enough of the techniques I’ve been taught or do you find I’m kinda stuck with only doing a few that seem to be my favorites?

Attitude
Attendance
Knowledge
Skill
Most all coaches look at these attributes and others.

 

[JowGaWolf]

1. I'm a shy, quiet person. The gym likes to refer themselves as "family", but i don't feel like i manage to blend in. I mean, i've been training for almost 2 years now, and i haven't really been talking to my coach (besides asking about techniques once in a while).
I have a few "gym friends", but never had a healthy relationship with my coaches.

From a training perspective, this doesn't sound too healthy. It's not a bad thing, but after 2 years you should have some kind of comfort level with the people you train with. That's a long time to still be shy. I'm not sure why that would affect your ranking. But from a social aspect I'm thinking. "Why isn't this guy comfortable after 2 years of training with the same students"

You really can't compare time at the school as a reason to be promoted. There were people at the school where I trained who trained 3 years at the school before I arrived. In terms of skill level I improved much faster, but I also had some previous martial arts training and It wasn't my first time training Jow Ga Kung Fu. You never really know what people bring to the table when it comes to skill set. My first time at my school went like this.
1. They thought I was all talk because I joined 4 months after my first visit. I had to get my fund right to pay for me and my son plus the tai chi class that I was taking,
2. They thought I really didn't take Jow Ga kung fu, previously because I didn't talk about it. I may have brought it up once or twice but not in great detail.
3. I also took karate as a kid, ran cross country and track. I took gymnastics in the 2nd grade, 3d grade and in highschool. I was doing back flips well into my 20's. I think my last back flip was in my early 30's, When I was in the 7th grade I went to a summer camp where they taught wrestling, I also wrestled with friends through out highschool, but didn't do it as a sport.

And I taught self-defense classes long before I joined the school. Even as long as I've been in Martial Talk some of this information I don't talk much about, like me doing wrestling over the summer and then wrestling with friends. So ALL of that stuff factors into how I perform in kung fu. It factors into my ability. So when you see people, pass you by in BJJ. You have to keep stuff like that in mind. They may have done something in their past that makes it easier for them to pick up BJJ.

Like other's have stated. You should just focus on what you do and not compare yourself to other's like that. Don't worry about the belt. If it means you have to be a lower belt for a while then start dominating your classmates on the mat as a lower belt.

Work hard and show passion for the system and not the belt. Some coaches will hold belt promotions back if they think you are a "belt chaser"

 

[Graywalker]

Hey guys.
So i've been training bjj (gracie method) for almost 2 years now, 3 times a week per average.

I think i'm doing ok, technique wise. I'm not the most talented student, but I don't suck as well.
I'm doing pretty ok against other students with the same amount of training as me.

Anyway, we had this seminar like a week ago.
My coach decided to promote students who had started training after me (one student who got promoted started 4 months after me). They all got their blue belt and I was left out.

I think there may be a few reasons why he didn't promote me to blue belt:

1. I'm a shy, quiet person. The gym likes to refer themselves as "family", but i don't feel like i manage to blend in. I mean, i've been training for almost 2 years now, and i haven't really been talking to my coach (besides asking about techniques once in a while).
I have a few "gym friends", but never had a healthy relationship with my coaches.

2. Despite rolling well with my colleagues, in the few times i had rolled with my coach, i felt like i did bad. I wasn't able to apply the techniques as well as i do with my training partners. I felt like he went pretty hard on me actually..

So, now i'm in this confusing place. It's been almost a week since i last went to the gym, mostly because i feel unwanted. Maybe it's all in my had, but i really feel like my coach doesn't like me.

Anyway, i'm just feeling pretty bad right now.

Thanks for reading!

If you are not comfortable with your coach. Leave and find a place where you are comfortable with the coach. You do not owe loyalty to any coach or system taught.