Martial stupidity, share your story!

[Kframe]

Ok Im sure everyone here has a story or two of stupid things they have done involving martial arts. I figure we can get a luagh and learn some lessons. Ill go first.

This one happened recently and im still recovering from it. I do alot of shadow boxing and "kitchen training" through out my day. I like to have a target sometimes when im doing my shadow boxing, not sure why but it helps. Well 2 weeks ago, I had just clocked out at work. We sell heavy duty semi truck parts, and i was standing the the ware house doing some shadow boxing, talking to my friend who was a ways away doing computer work. I was in a area that had some semi truck Ac pumps, in cardboard boxes on a shelf. They weigh about 13lbs and are hard as hell apparently... Well like i said i like to shadow box at a target and i was throwing my jabs at the box, coming short each time. All was good, i felt good. As i was about to leave, i decided what the hell, ill give it a stiff jab and see what happens... Well ill let you know what happend.

Apparently that pump is hard, very hard! I also must have put more power into it then i thought, cuase that pump slid a few inches back on the shelf. What shocked me the most was that i DID NOT break my hand. My fist was perfect, my inpact perfect my technique perfect. The majority of the blow landed on the center knuckle of my hand.(the FU finger knuckle, its the big knuckle in the middle of your fist) Now my center knuckle(the driving finger knuckle) on both hands have always been larger then the others. Im not sure why, but they protrude out a little further.

Now i have not broken my finger but i assume i came close. At first it didnt hurt but about a few minutes later it started hurting like heck. I could and still can bend it and press on it and squeeze it and use it like normal, but man it hurt like hell for a long time. As of right now I it doesnt hurt much at all, only occasionly. It did start hurting a little bit(more like a moderate discomfort) when i was doing some gloveless heavy bag work. Did a few stiff jabs and decent hook on my heavy bag and it started hurting a little. So i have a ways to go before its healed.

For me the big shocker was not breaking my hand, i cant believe it. Its really nice to know that if it comes down to it, i can at least count on my jab for a few punches. Ya it goes with out saying i should refrain from punching hard things. Honestly i dont know why i did it, it was just a spur of the moment what the hell kind of thing. Part of me wanted to see what happend.

So share your story, id love to hear it.

 

[Bill Mattocks]

The middle knuckle on everyone's hand sticks out a bit further than the others, I think. If you hit with that knuckle, you're, uh, going to hurt your hand. Some karate kyus use the top two knuckles, some the bottom three. Right in the middle can be a killer.

For myself, my moment was a couple years ago at a tournament, did a nice open-hand block of a hard front snap kick. Jammed on the fingers on my left hand. Hurt for nearly a year.

Other than that, I've busted myself up some, but none due to boneheaded moves. So far. I'm fully capable of doing all manner of weird and wacky things, though.

 

[Kframe]

Bill, i have to ask, how did you jam your fingers with a open hand block on a front kick? Did you impact more with fingers and less with palm?

I agree, it was not my smartest move, but sometimes the brain is not engaged all the way. Oh well, i know better now.

 

[Danny T]

Over the years I've had several stupid and foolish things in my martial arts career. One that always comes to mind is from a self-defense workshop I did for a ladies church group many years ago. We had gotten to doing some physical action and some of the ladies were having a little trouble stepping off the line of attack thereby making the counter we were working difficult to pulloff. Working with one lady who suddenly made the connection of moving and making the technique very simple exclaimed, "wow, moving just 6 inches makes it so easy."
I follow up with; "yeah, it's amazing what 6 inches will do for a lady",... as those words rolled off I realized every lady in the room was watching and heard my remark. A loud gasp by me and the room erupted in laughter.

One must be careful with one's remarks.

 

[Touch Of Death]

Once, a long long time ago, I said something silly and my Mother-In-Law (at the time) threw at swing at me, I very light heartedly parried the strike, but she flew about three feet and landed on her face. I think that was one of the stupidest things I ever did.

 

[Big Don]

Another black belt was running the peewee class, about a dozen kids 5-7 years old. He was handing out tennis balls for a eye-hand coordination drill, some of the boys were bouncing or throwing the balls. He said, loudly, "Stop playing with your balls!"
The other adults in the room cracked up.

 

[DennisBreene]

Back when I was a young 19yr old 1st Dan, I was fairly limber. We often used front stretch kicks as part of our warm up in class and I usually could slam my knee into my shoulder. I was in line at the end to the right, next to the wall of mirrors. College boy here decided to check and see if my knee was staying straight during the stretch (so much for the notion that you have to be intelligent to attend college). I looked to the right at the mirror just as I kicked with the right leg and my knee slammed into my nose; breaking the nose and starting blood spewing all over the floor. I still live in infamy for that manuever as none of the other people in the studio could replicate the stretch. Forty years later my Grand Master brought it up during a reunion of black belts.

If you all are kind, I'll tell you about the time a 12 yr old girl broke my nose while I was teaching a juniors class.
Needless to say; I had a reputation for leading with my nose.

 

[Buka]

In 1976 my fellow Black Belt and I opened our first Dojo. It was during a time of resurgence of the arts in the New England area and people signed up left and right. On our first scheduled day of class, 73 people showed up, crammed onto the Dojo floor elbow to elbow. We didn't have enough room. So, in a quick 30 second meeting, we decided to thin out the ranks and only get people who wanted to seriously train and be Martial tough guys like ourselves. We did pushups for an hour, telling them, "Get used to it, this is a no nonsense place."

We gave fifty of them their money back that night (a whole fifteen bucks a month) and thinned out the student population to a reasonable size. Besides being a really poor business plan, I think of the folks we scared away, the ones we gypped out of the Martial experience. I attribute our actions to two things. Being complete idiots full of ourselves, and being young men.....who were complete idiots and full of themselves.

 

[sfs982000]

Oh I could probably put together a pretty substantial list of stupid, bone-head moments in my years in the martial arts ranging from knots on my head from training with nunchuks, foot in mouth syndrome and the occasional gas in class is always good for a laugh.

 

[Mark Lynn]

Many years ago after being the martial arts about 4 years my wife and I were staying in what was base or officer's housing at an old air force base that had been turned into a technical school. We had been married less than a year (probably only a couple of months) when in a spare bedroom (that I wanted to make my workout room) I was working with the nunchaku (being all Bruce Lee like) when I forgot about the light fixture over head. I forget what maneuver it was but I all of the sudden heard a loud crash or sound of glass breaking as the light fixture glass and parts of the bulbs came crashing down on my head.

Since I was working out I also didn't have on any socks or shoes and I froze as pieces of glass where all over the place. My wife came in of course to see what the commotion was and said the look of utter (I'm an idiot) disbelieve/shock on my face was priceless. Thankfully I didn't get hurt from the falling glass, and I didn't move from my spot until she had cleaned up all of the pieces of glass and swept the room. Of course I had to listen to her chastise me for not watching out for the light as she cleaned up the room.

 

[Mark Lynn]

If you all are kind, I'll tell you about the time a 12 yr old girl broke my nose while I was teaching a juniors class.
Needless to say; I had a reputation for leading with my nose.

LOL Been there. Not only did I have a 13 year old Orange belt break my finger when we were sparring, she side kicked and I (who wasn't taking things to seriously) open hand blocked and misjudged the technique. But like an idiot I told my co-workers the next day how I was in the emergency room till the wee hours in the morning because I broke my finger sparring with her. Years later I still had co workers ask me anytime I was injured, sore, or whatever; "Did another 13 year old girl beat you up again?" It got all around the facility.

Some how I would rather have a reputation for leading with my nose, than getting beat up by a 13 year old.

 

[Aiki Lee]

During class the students were working on how to properly apply a rear naked choke (standing, not on the ground) and some of the students (myself included) were independently working on counter such a movement. My sensei was irritated because he noticed people were preparing to counter the choke before the choke was even attempted by clentching their chin into their chest before the attacker even made a movement. Needless to say this wasn't realistic as you obviously can't prepare a counter like that because in reality you don't know what the attacker is going to do and thus can't prepare for the attack in that way. My teacher explained that to the class but I was busy being a blackbelt no it all and wasn't paying attention to what he said.

He asked, "Does anyone really think they can prevent someone from choking them like that?"

Since I wasn't paying attention to what he said before that, I though he was asking if someone could effectively demonstarte it.

I said, "I can defend against that choke." As it turns out, I could not.

I did the stupid thing of trying to prepare for the choke before he did it, so my teacher hit me with a sword hand in the head to open me up and then applied the choke. Once I got off the floor, I realized what I did wrong, and resloved to not let my ego get in the way and always pay attention when sensei speaks.

 

[DennisBreene]

LOL Been there. Not only did I have a 13 year old Orange belt break my finger when we were sparring, she side kicked and I (who wasn't taking things to seriously) open hand blocked and misjudged the technique. But like an idiot I told my co-workers the next day how I was in the emergency room till the wee hours in the morning because I broke my finger sparring with her. Years later I still had co workers ask me anytime I was injured, sore, or whatever; "Did another 13 year old girl beat you up again?" It got all around the facility.

Some how I would rather have a reputation for leading with my nose, than getting beat up by a 13 year old.

Try having a reputation for both! Actually I was sparring her and her 8 yr old brother. Both were pretty good, but the brother was a little small for his age and even with good kicks he had trouble reaching the body of a grown man. As we sparred, he would disappear from my peripheral vision on the left and reappear on my right having gone behind me. He usually went for a roundhouse kick to the stomach and land a fairly powerful kick to a zone slightly lower than my stomach. Even with a cup this was not ideal and I quickly started to watch for this manouver and we got into a recurrant cycle of disappear, 1..2..3, reappear, kick, block the kick. Just as quickly his sister picked up on my stupid consistancy in leaving an opening and landed a very well placed haymaker on my nose. I was bleeding. She was so mortified and upset that I had to force her to spar with me for another half hour just to prove to her I was OK. And the plastic surgeon who had set my nose from the first incident just a few months before was "pissed". Particularly because I would never tell her that this was related to karate and she assumed I was some idiot street punk. (We've since made up when she took care of my mother a couple of years ago and she found out the real story and that I had gone on to become a doctor myself) I think my youthful tendency to act without thinking was curbed a little by these painful and humiliating lessons in consequences.

 

[DennisBreene]

During class the students were working on how to properly apply a rear naked choke (standing, not on the ground) and some of the students (myself included) were independently working on counter such a movement. My sensei was irritated because he noticed people were preparing to counter the choke before the choke was even attempted by clentching their chin into their chest before the attacker even made a movement. Needless to say this wasn't realistic as you obviously can't prepare a counter like that because in reality you don't know what the attacker is going to do and thus can't prepare for the attack in that way. My teacher explained that to the class but I was busy being a blackbelt no it all and wasn't paying attention to what he said.

He asked, "Does anyone really think they can prevent someone from choking them like that?"

Since I wasn't paying attention to what he said before that, I though he was asking if someone could effectively demonstarte it.

I said, "I can defend against that choke." As it turns out, I could not.

I did the stupid thing of trying to prepare for the choke before he did it, so my teacher hit me with a sword hand in the head to open me up and then applied the choke. Once I got off the floor, I realized what I did wrong, and resloved to not let my ego get in the way and always pay attention when sensei speaks.

We could probably start a whole new thread on the stupid things we did that got us "spanked" by our senseis as they worked to get a little insight through our thick skulls.

 

[Mark Lynn]

We could probably start a whole new thread on the stupid things we did that got us "spanked" by our senseis as they worked to get a little insight through our thick skulls.

One of my favorite stories of stupid things that I did, and one I pass on to my students was the time I asked GM Remy Presas to show me how to do the two finger finger lock transition to the over the shoulder take down. We were all sitting around after a day of training at a Dallas camp watching the rough video footage for what became the Black Belt Tape series and I was sitting there next to the Professor when I see on the tape that move. So I asked him "Professor I have trouble with that move, I don't get it can you show me?" (Or something to that effect). "Sure" was his reply. After the viewing ended he had me grab his hand or something to set up the lock and when he applied the two finger lock he literally bent my little and my ring finger back so hard I swear they were fixing to come off I mean my hand turned white and lost all color and feeling except for intense pain, then he placed my fingers over top of my shoulder and wham I hit the floor.

I was thinking he would give me a detailed explanation on how to set up the guy to make the transition or something, some in depth talk of the mysteries of Modern Arnis. Silly me. I learned the very important principle of intention or "In Real!" (for those Remy fans) that when doing something for real it is far different than fooling around in the training hall. My training partner and I had been struggling with this technique during the seminar because we just couldn't get it right without opening ourselves up to a counter. Believe me there was no thought of a counter when he applied that lock to me other than STOOOOOPPPPPP the pain please! It took several minutes for the hand to recover.

 

[Touch Of Death]

One of my favorite stories of stupid things that I did, and one I pass on to my students was the time I asked GM Remy Presas to show me how to do the two finger finger lock transition to the over the shoulder take down. We were all sitting around after a day of training at a Dallas camp watching the rough video footage for what became the Black Belt Tape series and I was sitting there next to the Professor when I see on the tape that move. So I asked him "Professor I have trouble with that move, I don't get it can you show me?" (Or something to that effect). "Sure" was his reply. After the viewing ended he had me grab his hand or something to set up the lock and when he applied the two finger lock he literally bent my little and my ring finger back so hard I swear they were fixing to come off I mean my hand turned white and lost all color and feeling except for intense pain, then he placed my fingers over top of my shoulder and wham I hit the floor.

I was thinking he would give me a detailed explanation on how to set up the guy to make the transition or something, some in depth talk of the mysteries of Modern Arnis. Silly me. I learned the very important principle of intention or "In Real!" (for those Remy fans) that when doing something for real it is far different than fooling around in the training hall. My training partner and I had been struggling with this technique during the seminar because we just couldn't get it right without opening ourselves up to a counter. Believe me there was no thought of a counter when he applied that lock to me other than STOOOOOPPPPPP the pain please! It took several minutes for the hand to recover.

I tricked my friend Dennis into asking a very similar question with very similar results with one of our Jiu Jitsu experts. It was awesome, but Dennis and I have trust issues now.

 

[Mark Lynn]

All right because I actually enjoyed reading this thread I'll post another stupid thing I did, in hopes that others might post some more funny stories.

In 99 I went to see GM Remy and Dr. Gyi at Datu Hartman's school in Buffalo. I had never seen Dr. Gyi and had read about him so why not go and see two for the price of one right. Dr Gyi was showing us a pincher type (or a vice like lock) lock for the face where you feed the punyo (the butt) around the back of the head laying your forearm across the side of the jaw, reach around underneath on to grab the punyo with your other arm then squeeze your forearm together.

Not having learned my lesson before with Remy and the two finger lock and the lesson on intention. I asked Dr. Gyi to show me that lock. Now earlier in the day, before the seminar; I got to go with Remy, Tim Hartman, Tony (my friend who went with me to the seminar) Remy and Dr. Gyi and we walked around a mall or something to kill time. So I had been slowly walking around with this kindly older man (Dr. Gyi) who used one of those four footed type canes to walk with. So in the back of my mind I probably figured he's not going to dislocate my fingers like Remy almost did, he walks with a four footed cane, how much pain could he inflict? STUPID STUPID STUPID

When I asked Dr. Gyi if he could show me this technique he calmly took his stick (he wasn't using the walker cane anymore (which should have been a clue but like I said STUPID STUPID STUPID) and whacked his forearm against the side/back of my neck so I saw stars. Then he pulls my head over to the side of his body and one side of my jaw (the lower side) is against his lower forearm and the other forearm is squeezing on the top of the side of my face, so now I'm off balanced with my jaw getting squeezed upwards while my face is getting squeezed downwards and I'm feeling like my jaw is coming unhinged. The pain was incredible.

Lesson learned that time, don't mess with the old masters