ppko said:
I am currently going through a divorce this is my first marriage, I truly love my wife, but she does not want to try and work anything out so our marriage is over. Though it still stings a bit I have pretty much gotten over it. here is my question why do you think that divorce rates tend to be high in the Martial Arts world
My condolences.
Divorce is never easy, even if the two still care about each other, and try to end it as amicably as possible.
Rich and Carol have pointed out a very important fact, that well over half of all marriages end in divorce, and this isn't just for people in the martial arts community (but more on that later). Several decades ago, people simply didn't get divorced nearly as much as they do this day.
Now, some people may ask why there are many martial artists getting divorced. That's not an easy thing to answer, but I'll try anyways.
There are several reasons why being a martial artist, specifically one who does this full time, can put a strain on a relationship.
1) You are committed to the dojo. The dojo is your life, and requires your immediate attention at times. You really can't just cancel classes on a whim to deal with the "smaller" things in a relationship, and unfortunately, these "smaller" things do add up over a period of time. Even if you have good instructors under your wing helping you, there are some things that you have to do yourself.
2) You might be working long hours. Most people who have dojos tend to run classes in the evenings, and sometimes, this can easily mean that you're stuck there until 9-10 PM.
3) Money... Yes, I realize that the overwhelming majority of the folks here are not in the martial arts for the money. It's a very honorable thing, indeed, but at the same time, honor doesn't pay the bills.
Running a dojo isn't easy. You have a constant stream of bills to pay, rent, insurance, etc., and have to deal with the fact that sometimes, enrollments drop. Even the best-run dojos in the world are going to experience drop-offs at one time or another, and that can sometimes lead to a budget crunch, especially if you don't have enough liquid (cash, savings) reserves.
Many times, this can mean having to take $$$ out of the paycheck that you normally cut for yourself. That's never a pleasant thing, and the lack of money to take home can certainly lead to stress building up somewhere.
Is this the ultimate determinant? Of course not; I would like to think that the overwhelming majority of us here aren't going to let dry times kill a relationship, but as I said before, these things do add up, and eventually, enough straws will break the camel's back.
Anyways, I'll add some more when my mind is relieved from caffeine starvation.
