Lost..

[hyp]

Hello it's me.. maybe here someone will help me to choose the right way.. so I'm 31 years old already, i never been into martial arts sports, i never probably had a fight in my life, there was always someone else who stood up for me or i gave up before the fight beggin. well i grew up without a father so nobody really teach me how to defend myself or how to fight.. when i was younger i did drugs because i thought it was cool to be with friends and do those things, not everyday but like on weekends some ecstasy and weed until i found bodybuilding and then i been involved with steroids, i would say it was the best years of my life, but only while i was taking them, i grew up so fast that i didnt even realised how i got from 170lbs to almost 240lbs... so it was good for a while, but then i stopped taking steroids, i lost the motivation, drive... back to 185lbs.. i went to the gym less and less until i stopped training at all, then i started partying on the weekends, from time to time some i did some cocaine and i got myself into gambling.. i think this one is the worst addiction of all ! i really hate myself for being so stupid and doing such a stupid things. so i want to end all of this and start a new life, hopefully its not too late.
I have a stable job now, i work 6 days per week in construction, they pay well and every week. I have a girlfriend, we been together almost 2 years, she wanted to leave so many times because i did some stupid things, but she still here and i think she cares about me, so i have to do something with myself.
Everyday i'm thinking I should go back to gym and start taking steroids, get big again.. it was my passion for this sport, but the other me tells me that i shouldn't, that it won't last for long, so i'm kinda lost and trying to find myself. I really enjoy watching fights of boxing, kickboxing, ufc.. my favourites are badr hari, mike tyson and conor mcregor.. i want to become someone, maybe not a proffesional fighter because probably its too late already, but at least build my confidence and become a better men

P.s. if anyone read all of it then it would be nice to hear some advice where i should start or which sport to choose, i know i could do it long long time ago but i was always ashamed and afraid that someone would be me up lol

 

[Tez3]

Welcome to MT first of all.

You seem to have an eventful life so far! However, at half my age I can say with confidence you are still young lol and can start again relatively easily, you seem to have made a good start already with the job and the girlfriend. I will say though, do not go back on the steroids, they really are not beneficial for you, in fact they will do you a lot of harm.
Firstly, for martial arts have a look around and see what is available in your area, we will all tell you it's no good us recommending any particular style as being good for you if you can't train it. So, have a look around, see what there is and visit them all to give you a taste of what the style is, what the instructors are like and whether you feel you can fit.
Instructors are quite used to people with no experience of martial arts, they understand the fears and nervousness of beginners so chat to the instructors, be honest about what you want from training and your fitness.
You will get a lot of good advice on here, people are friendly, after you've had a look at what's available in your area, tell us and we can tell you more about the styles etc. You will get encouragement as well as info here, so don't despair, you can get started in martial arts a lot easier than you thought!

 

[Jenna]

Hello it's me.. maybe here someone will help me to choose the right way.. so I'm 31 years old already, i never been into martial arts sports, i never probably had a fight in my life, there was always someone else who stood up for me or i gave up before the fight beggin. well i grew up without a father so nobody really teach me how to defend myself or how to fight.. when i was younger i did drugs because i thought it was cool to be with friends and do those things, not everyday but like on weekends some ecstasy and weed until i found bodybuilding and then i been involved with steroids, i would say it was the best years of my life, but only while i was taking them, i grew up so fast that i didnt even realised how i got from 170lbs to almost 240lbs... so it was good for a while, but then i stopped taking steroids, i lost the motivation, drive... back to 185lbs.. i went to the gym less and less until i stopped training at all, then i started partying on the weekends, from time to time some i did some cocaine and i got myself into gambling.. i think this one is the worst addiction of all ! i really hate myself for being so stupid and doing such a stupid things. so i want to end all of this and start a new life, hopefully its not too late.
I have a stable job now, i work 6 days per week in construction, they pay well and every week. I have a girlfriend, we been together almost 2 years, she wanted to leave so many times because i did some stupid things, but she still here and i think she cares about me, so i have to do something with myself.
Everyday i'm thinking I should go back to gym and start taking steroids, get big again.. it was my passion for this sport, but the other me tells me that i shouldn't, that it won't last for long, so i'm kinda lost and trying to find myself. I really enjoy watching fights of boxing, kickboxing, ufc.. my favourites are badr hari, mike tyson and conor mcregor.. i want to become someone, maybe not a proffesional fighter because probably its too late already, but at least build my confidence and become a better men

P.s. if anyone read all of it then it would be nice to hear some advice where i should start or which sport to choose, i know i could do it long long time ago but i was always ashamed and afraid that someone would be me up lol

Hey there, welcome along That is quite a lot of information. Which of your local MA places have you gone along to see or try it out?

 

[hyp]

greetings all I live in London there are too many places too choose from....

 

[Langenschwert]

London gives you literally all the things. How far are you willing to travel to train?

 

[Danny T]

Doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks you should do…What matters is you doing something you genuinely enjoy. There are many facets of the martial arts. Visit several of the schools that are available to you. Speak with the instructors and other members view, the classes, and if possible participate in a couple at the different schools. Most important is that you enjoy the training and the people you are training with.

 

[hyp]

well i travel everyday to work 2 hours on the train both ways.. i'm at home around 6PM after dinner i have nothing what to do until 10PM or so, i'm tired but not that tired to change my life, i'm willing to travel for another hour again

 

[Gerry Seymour]

well i travel everyday to work 2 hours on the train both ways.. i'm at home around 6PM after dinner i have nothing what to do until 10PM or so, i'm tired but not that tired to change my life, i'm willing to travel for another hour again

If you're traveling that far on the train, you should be able to find something near your journey (start, end, or one of the stations between), so likely little need to add much travel time. Find out what's near those stations, and that will give you a set of options to start looking at. You want to find something that's convenient, and looks like fun to you (doesn't matter if it would be to me, your mother, your girlfriend, or anyone else).

 

[hyp]

If you're traveling that far on the train, you should be able to find something near your journey (start, end, or one of the stations between), so likely little need to add much travel time. Find out what's near those stations, and that will give you a set of options to start looking at. You want to find something that's convenient, and looks like fun to you (doesn't matter if it would be to me, your mother, your girlfriend, or anyone else).

thanks for the insight, the problem is that i really can't train in the morning, because i have leave my house before 6AM and after work because i'm too dirty lol i'm a groundworker so i really need a shower after work, but i will have a look at my local places, so far i found boxing club they do adult classes at 7:30-9PM on mon, wed, thur, friday only 15min away by walk

 

[Gerry Seymour]

thanks for the insight, the problem is that i really can't train in the morning, because i have leave my house before 6AM and after work because i'm too dirty lol i'm a groundworker so i really need a shower after work, but i will have a look at my local places, so far i found boxing club they do adult classes at 7:30-9PM on mon, wed, thur, friday only 15min away by walk

Some places will have showers available - certainly not all. I don't know how common that is in the UK. One place I trained at, we had an auto mechanic who trained there, and he would often come in straight from work, grab a really fast shower, then dress out for class.

 

[Tez3]

greetings all I live in London there are too many places too choose from....

aha! That narrows things down nicely for me. You mentioned that you liked the MMAers and boxers, I can certainly recommend a couple of places that I actually think you'd like especially London Shoot, I think they would actually suit you, they don't just cater for competitive fighters, they are very welcoming to beginners. About – London Shootfighters

I can probably recommend places to try nearer to you if they aren't.

 

[JR 137]

Please take this the right way...

Have you considered counseling? While I think you're on the right track with getting things together and looking to improve further, taking up a martial art/sport may not be a miracle fix that'll change everything for the better for the rest of your life. It'll definitely help, but from what you say I think counseling may greatly benefit you as well.

As far as what Arts/sports to look into, there's so many out there. Google search what's accessible. Eliminate those places that don't coincide with your schedule and budget. Visit as many of the remaining places as realistically possible. Visiting the places will make the decision easier. What's going to keep you going back for the long term is the environment. Who you'll learn from and train alongside will be more important that the style 99% of the time. Visiting places will tell you far more than we ever could.

 

[KenpoMaster805]

1st i would like to welcome you to MA hope you enjoy your stay here
2nd I'm sorry that you didnt have a father figure to protect you or defend you thats a bad father and you dont need him
3 im proud of you that you tern your life around no more drugs or steroids thats bad for your health and im glad you have a full time job now and a girl friend
3rd if your looking for a MA class in London theres a lot but its up to which one you like and 31 years old is never to late i started karate at age 35 im 39 now so yah

 

[Midnight-shadow]

Hi, welcome to MT. Having read what you wrote you are definitely on the right track and finding a good Martial Arts place to train in could be just what you need. One of the things I love about Martial Arts is the community you get, especially if you join a small club where everyone knows one-another. It's quite different to bodybuilding where a lot of times you are training on your own, whereas at an MA gym there's always someone there to push you to the next phase and keep your motivation going. My advice to you is look around at what's nearby and take your time in choosing the right one for you. Good luck.

 

[Tez3]

Have you considered counseling?

That's not something that's too common here and is actually very hard to find, unlikely to be got on the NHS for various reasons I won't go into because it would turn into a political rant and paying privately is an option but still quite hard to find here.

For a lot of reasons I'd still go with London Shoot, they offer huge support as well as very good martial arts training in an atmosphere the OP I believe would find helpful.