Little Kids and Hitting

bugatabugata

bugatabugata

Orange Belt
Malteaser's thread in the women's forum brought to mind an issue that I've been dealing with for a while and could really use some help with. There's a little boy in my class (around 12-13, or so), who's generally shy and quiet. However, over time he's warmed up to me and now thinks we're a) buddies and b) that I'm a fellow thirteen year old boy, so has started treating me as such. Namely, whenever the Master's explaining something and I have my back turned, he'll run up behind me, kick me in the back, then run away giggling. Same deal when we're sparring -- I obviously don't use full power on him and mostly try to go on the defensive, but he thinks it's absolutely hilarious to kick me in the shins, then run away. The problem is, he's got a good twenty pounds on me and it HURTS! Also, he's a black belt with a couple of years of experience on me, which is why he comes to the advanced practices. I can't bring myself to really hit a little kid, even though the situation's beginning to wear on me with every practice. He's a nice enough kid and I don't want to get him in trouble with the Master or his parents, but what the heck do I do? I'm worried that one of these days he'll manage to really injure me (without meaning to, obviously -- I don't think he's intentionally trying to be mean.) Any help, especially from those of you that are parents (don't have kids of my own yet, so no idea how to "parent" in these situations), would be much appreciated. (Yup, this whole thing would be extremely humorous, if it wasn't happening to me and my shins weren't constantly covered in bruises...)
 
Have you considered talking to the Master? This is his school and he should be aware of the issue between two students. More than likely the kid just needs to have a little talking to to steer him back on the right path.

I understand that you don't want to cause a problem and "get him in trouble". Unfortunately, the problem is already there. You are doing him (and yourself) no favors by remaining silent.
 
Doing nothing is a good way to solve nothing. Explain it to Him, gently at first. Explain it to the Teacher. And if all else fails, make Him dislike You instead; If all else fails. All else.
 
Really?!? 12 and acts like you stated, plus being a black belt? Sounds like he may be a little slow or have a possible mental issue. None of the 12 year olds or even younger act like this in our dojang. Why he does not know boundaries, being a black belt is strange to me. Even not being a black belt and acting that way seems strange, as each should understand certain etiquettes. I would start by talking to him myself, and then if that did not work the Instructor or head person should be made aware of this issue and correct it right away.
 
bugatabugata said:
...Same deal when we're sparring -- I obviously don't use full power on him and mostly try to go on the defensive, but he thinks it's absolutely hilarious to kick me in the shins, then run away....
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What does the Master say when this happens? Frankly if it were me, I'd ask rhetorically "what are the rules??. That should drive home the point that rules need to be enforced. If the answer is more or less that nothing will be done, I'd follow up with my rhetorical question, "So I can kick him anywhere I want??? Or for instance I can punch him in the face?" I'd probably conclude by saying "That's not really what I am looking for, so I'll just spar the other students who like the WTF rules."
 
I would advise you to tell your Master, A black belt simply cannot act like that in class. He needs to be taught a good lesson about manners and respect.
 
Pfuugh, yeah, I need to do something. Fortunately, there were only a few of us tonight and we did forms/self defense, so no sparring and the Master was able to monitor everyone. (Interestingly enough, the little guy doesn't do anything when the Master's watching...) I'm also a bit embarrassed to talk to the Master right away, because I should be able to handle a kid on my own. Next time it happens, I'll pull him aside, give him the glare of death, and tell him "Stop doing that, it hurts." If that doesn't work, I'll talk to the Master about skipping him in the sparring rotation.

(Ah crap, I just reread this whole thread and the realization dawned on me that I've been getting bullied by a middle schooler. Fantastic! :) Am officially turning in my MA badass card...
 
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Tell him loudly and without any hesitation, NO! Don't do that to me again! And stop being so nice to him - be polite, civil and respectful but don't be buddy-buddy nice. If he balks, invite him to talk to the master with you. If he refuses, tell him it is not good form for a black belt to do something so childish and that you're looking out for how he looks to other people. If he still balks, then tell him despite all you've said, it just isn't done in well-respected dojangs. If he still balks, see the master alone.

Don't take your eye off the kid and DON'T give him your back. Ever. Kicking you in the shins? Do you not see this coming? Put distance between the two of you. I'd like to know how this turns out.
 
You're right. I need to deal with this. As to the kicking in the shins thing, I'm not as good at defense as I should be (not fast enough on the retreat.) I'll post an update tomorrow or Wednesday.
 
bugatabugata said:
You're right. I need to deal with this. As to the kicking in the shins thing, I'm not as good at defense as I should be (not fast enough on the retreat.) I'll post an update tomorrow or Wednesday.
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Next time he tries to kick you in the shins , fold the lower leg back , of the leg he is targeting so that your shin is out of range and you have a nice solid structure with the knee pointing.
Point your knee at the shin of his kicking leg , instead of him kicking your shin , his shin will collide with the point of your knee.

I think that will probably be the last time he ever tries to kick you in the shins again.
 
bugatabugata said:
You're right. I need to deal with this. As to the kicking in the shins thing, I'm not as good at defense as I should be (not fast enough on the retreat.) I'll post an update tomorrow or Wednesday.
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Do you know what the definition of insanity is? Doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. You need to tell that young man that he has to follow the same rules that everyone else does. If he does it again, after you speak to him, tell the instructor right away. If it continues then advise the instructor that you do not wish to continue training under these conditions. See how fast he/she is corrected then.
 
Gwai Lo Dan said:
I was kidding (sort of). Here's planking to me.
http://www.planking.me/
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That's so last year lol it's batmanning now! :)

images
 
bugatabugata said:
Pfuugh, yeah, I need to do something. Fortunately, there were only a few of us tonight and we did forms/self defense, so no sparring and the Master was able to monitor everyone. (Interestingly enough, the little guy doesn't do anything when the Master's watching...) I'm also a bit embarrassed to talk to the Master right away, because I should be able to handle a kid on my own. Next time it happens, I'll pull him aside, give him the glare of death, and tell him "Stop doing that, it hurts." If that doesn't work, I'll talk to the Master about skipping him in the sparring rotation.

(Ah crap, I just reread this whole thread and the realization dawned on me that I've been getting bullied by a middle schooler. Fantastic! :) Am officially turning in my MA badass card...
Click to expand...

But see this is a common mistake it is not your place to talk or correct.. PERIOD... it is your place to make the Master aware of said problem and for him to fix it with his Black Belt. Talk to the instructor believe me if I saw a under belt telling my BB what to do I would have to have a talk about rank structure in the dojaang. Please communicate with the Master over things like this.
 
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