How to awaken the warrior within?

[granfire]

so 5x5 is like 5 time lifting and repeating that 5 times? (so 25 squats?)

Last time I saw weights at the gym we did around 15, repeat 3 times...

 

[Kong Soo Do]

so 5x5 is like 5 time lifting and repeating that 5 times? (so 25 squats?)

Last time I saw weights at the gym we did around 15, repeat 3 times...

Bingo. 25 total reps is the goal for each of the compound lifts i.e. squat, bench press, overhead press and bent row. The dead lift is 1x5 and the dips and chin ups are 3 sets each to failure.

5x5 is a strength program. It will of course increase strenght but also lean muscle mass while at the same time reduce body fat %. Particularly in conjunction with a clean diet (no sodas, white bread etc). Best if he can get around six smaller meals in each day instead of the usual three larger meals. This keeps the metabolism high, which in turn burns more calories. He can have a cheat meal once a week, all detailed in that free e-book.

3x8-12 reps is more of a body building routine. Good rep ranges for muscle growth and hypertrohpy (muscularity not just size). But a good strength program needs to be done first to cut the body fat %. Reps of 15 are good for conditioning, usually but not always for woman that aren't looking to bulk up or get 'ripped' so-to-speak.

5x5 for 3 or more months will do some wonders for him and he's physique will change noticeably as long as a decent diet is kept.

 

[jthomas1600]

I just skimmed through the thread, so if someone else already pointed this out I apologize for being redundant. My son turned 16 a few months ago. I see such a drastic difference in his assertiveness, confidence and aggression (in a positive and constructive way) from two years ago and now. I think a lot has to do with being in TKD and ROTC. But I think largely it's a matter of maturing and higher testosterone levels. You may see the same thing over the next few years. Good luck.

 

[granfire]

Thanks.
I think him being in band will be good, too. The band director has the soul of a samurai!

 

[oftheherd1]

Don't want to tell you want to do or how to raise your child; but not every child fights. Forcing them to do so might not be the best solution.

When I came home from school beat up, my dad would take up for me, confronting the parents of bullies and schools who failed to do anything about it. Later, he got tired of it. He told me the next time I came home crying, he'd give me something to really cry about. I did, and he did. It worked; I stopped mentioning it to my father.

I did eventually learn to deal with bullies and to stand up for myself. In my own time, in my own way. That's all I can offer.

I am a very passive individual. I do not like to fight, anymore. As a child I was picked on a lot. I was bigger than everyone, wore glasses, was poor, you name it. I got into my first fight in first grade. I took a lot of crap from some older kid on the playground every day. I held it in for most of the first semester, then I told my dad. He said "the next time he comes up to you, don't even wait for him to hit you, just punch him in the mouth as hard as you can." I did. He bled and cried. It was at that moment, I discovered how good it felt to stand up for yourself. Later, I continued getting into fights. Not because I wanted to, but because people were just too stupid to leave me alone. I began to enjoy fist fights. A few years later, my dad gave me a lesson. He told me that I was to never start a fight, no matter what. He also said I was to never lose a fight, no matter what. I took that to heart. I would never swing first but I never got beat up. I put a hurting on many guys growing up, throwing one in a dumpster after I had beat him. He slapped me on the school bus and told me he was going to get off at my stop and whip my @$$. He didn't. My grandfather gave me two pair of boxing gloves for my birthday one year. My dad would box me for a couple years. I caught him on the jaw and that was it. He said no man had ever hit him that hard, and he was a brawler in his youth. Now, I try to avoid even raising my voice or arguing with people. Not to say I am a push over, but I won't let people escalate me to the point of fighting. Now should it come to a self defense situation, then I will use everything at my disposal to injure, maim or kill.....

Anyway, just continue to support him and let him know you will go to bat for him as long as he is in the right and was defending himself. It may come to him one day that to get people off your back you just gotta whip some tail sometimes. If not, be supportive. Too many times kids hold it in and get messed up in the head by it. Keep talking to him about it. Take him to some MMA events or watch it with him on tv with a beer or something.

Two interesting posts. I got into big trouble when I was about 4 or 5 years old for getting into a fight and bragging about it. I never wanted to fight again. I didn't remember that and associate it with my lack of a desire to fight for years. Who knows if your son has had an experience like that which meant nothing to you, but he took to heart. Or he may have seen something on TV or in real life that effected him. My solution was to talk my way out. I didn't back down, I just refused to fight. I learned whatever was said, to have a verbal counter that didn't admit defeat, but wasn't confrontational enough for a swinging match. That worked to keep me out of fights, but may not work for your son.

There is nothing I can really tell you other than to be supportive. If he earned a black belt he has all the physical tools he needs. Apparently he lacks the mental/sociological tools. He may not even know himself why that is. When/if he figures that out, he may not care to change. BTW, I don't mean to imply there is something wrong with him mentally, just that his current mental outlook may not now, or ever, convince him to fight physically. My solution was 45-50 years ago BTW; society may have changed so much he couldn't even use that as a solution now.

I noted that you mentioned his band leader. He might be one to talk to. Not so much over encouraging him to fight (since he most likely would be in trouble with the law, the school, or both), but how to deal with it, and also to watch out for bullying. Teachers are supposed to do that. Hopefully he will, and maybe mention it to other teachers, some of whom surely will care enough to also watch out.

He obviously wants help and guidance, or he wouldn't be telling you. Have you suggested anything to him about possible solutions?

 

[granfire]

I do have to agree that the kid does not have the mental aspect of the game, (I understood, mental as in, well, intellectually processing )

In band he has a pretty good environment and the cool kids like him. The band director put it last night (during the game debrief) that 'we take care of each other' which I appreciated very much. He is a no nonsense kinda guy.

Gotta love those older guys, those cool dudes. They actually get results where mom fails. :lol:

(I can't TELL you....2 years I tell the kid to put his sheet music in a binder, with sheet protectors...no deal...1 day in band camp 'mom can I have a binder and sheet protectors> Tim has it like that!' :duh:

 

[Em MacIntosh]

Right and wrong don't come into play here, ego does. If you stand up for yourself, make sure you can win otherwise it'll make things worse. It always escalates unless one of them is willing to submit (which will most certainly not be the bully). Every bit of my experience says these are the solutions:
a)Suffer through it until graduation.
b)Quit school and flip burgers.
c)Stand up to the bully and either take a beating (and be prepared for a routine of it) or put the bully in the hospital and go to jail.
d)Sue the family of the bully to Hades if you have a mean litigation team.

You have no apparent right to defend yourself at school and the bully usually has popularity (don't underestimate popularity)
If you're being bullied it's because you have some sort of disadvantage the bullies can take advantage of. You basically have a worse set of cards and aren't as likely to win the game. The best thing you can do is rise above, corny as it sounds. You just have to use every fibre of your being to keep your eye on the big picture. There's life after high school and while bullies become more common later in life you have more of a right to defend yourself and the escalation can't usually be settled by a bully's violence.
Why?
Consequences. Actual consequences. The only thing that changes a bully is paradigm shifting trauma, like injury or poetic justice.

Be supportive. Keep in mind the school may expell him for fighting so stand behind him as he gets demonized by the faculty, if that becomes the case.

 

[granfire]

well, generally speaking, there are not too many bullies who carry that big of a chip on their shoulder (I did see the aftermath of one of those though....was not pretty, and the thug had to rack up a lot more before they considered making him accept the county's hospitality, too...even thou we were talking orchestrated assault with 2 buddies on a single person...) most generally back down once they see you don't play their game...

But you are right, escalation is the last resort.

 

[Cyriacus]

The Legal Angle could actually work.

Have a few people conveniently standing nearby, confront him and ask him to leave you alone, take a beating, BOOM.
Witnesses, Assault, Harassment, Damages Caused, Violation of Human Rights, and whatever else you could throw together.
Ive seen it work.

Only problem is, People, and those Peoples Friends, tend to be a bit Vengeful.

So while it would work, i wouldnt recommend it.
Id recommend not Confronting this Person, and if Necessary, Defending Yourself. With Witnesses around.

 

[granfire]

:lfao:

ok, deep breath...I think I need to keep the legal steps in mind...
The kid? Like I said, he is NOT a fighter, His Momma? her nasty streak is showing from time to time...(back to the meditation hut with me)

I guess it all leads down to basics: Practice your stuff, walk through life with a straight back and your head held high and many problems go away.

But seriously, keep it coming. many different angles to look at an issue from, I appreciate it!

 

[Cyriacus]

:lfao:

ok, deep breath...I think I need to keep the legal steps in mind...
The kid? Like I said, he is NOT a fighter, His Momma? her nasty streak is showing from time to time...(back to the meditation hut with me)

I guess it all leads down to basics: Practice your stuff, walk through life with a straight back and your head held high and many problems go away.

But seriously, keep it coming. many different angles to look at an issue from, I appreciate it!

Oh i know - Im just making sure everyone remembers that people dont get all submissive just because you beat them in Court

 

[granfire]

Oh i know - Im just making sure everyone remembers that people dont get all submissive just because you beat them in Court

nope. (but one on the nose tends to cool most tempers...)

Of course, escalation is last resort.

 

[Cyriacus]

nope. (but one on the nose tends to cool most tempers...)

Of course, escalation is last resort.

Exactly! (flying side kicks to the nose bridge work as well)

 

[oftheherd1]

I do have to agree that the kid does not have the mental aspect of the game, (I understood, mental as in, well, intellectually processing )

In band he has a pretty good environment and the cool kids like him. The band director put it last night (during the game debrief) that 'we take care of each other' which I appreciated very much. He is a no nonsense kinda guy.

Gotta love those older guys, those cool dudes. They actually get results where mom fails. :lol:

(I can't TELL you....2 years I tell the kid to put his sheet music in a binder, with sheet protectors...no deal...1 day in band camp 'mom can I have a binder and sheet protectors> Tim has it like that!' :duh:

Yeah, I feel your frustration. It's all part of growing up though. You obviously had different experiences than he has had. Part of that was probably your hope to give him what you feel you didn't have. We all have to get through the growing up process. Not becoming violent is usually better than always being in fights. I can't promise that is best for him, but I suspect so. That doesn't mean he can't defend himself when it gets too bad. Hopefully older and friendlier kids may help, as well as more mature and unafraid teachers.

As to learning things in band camp that you have been telling him, yeah, part of growing up. Do you happen to remember how dumb you thought your parents were? If not, good on you, but most of us go through that. You no doubt have heard the old joke about he guy who was so surprised at how his parents got smarter as he got older?

Well good luck. Hopefully he will get through all this easier than you now suspect, maybe even better than you. LOL. But good luck to you and your son as well. I wish you both the best and a quick and good resolution to this.

 

[granfire]

I might have an ace in the hole I did not even know I had....Sousaphone!
The band is small, especially in the low brass, and the main Tuba/Sousaphone player is a Senior, so unless he gets all stupid, he'll be gone in Spring and the Sousaphone will be vacant. And it is HEAVY (kid got to test hold it a few weeks back) Soooo....the weightlift program might have some appeal!

 

[Cyriacus]

I might have an ace in the hole I did not even know I had....Sousaphone!
The band is small, especially in the low brass, and the main Tuba/Sousaphone player is a Senior, so unless he gets all stupid, he'll be gone in Spring and the Sousaphone will be vacant. And it is HEAVY (kid got to test hold it a few weeks back) Soooo....the weightlift program might have some appeal!

Weightlifting for this purpose... Eh... Heh.
*Goes to find out what the bloody hell a Sousaphone is*

 

[granfire]

Weightlifting for this purpose... Eh... Heh.
*Goes to find out what the bloody hell a Sousaphone is*

that big honking instrument you have to basically wear! (a marching style Tuba....)
and it's heavy!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sousaphone

 

[Cyriacus]

that big honking instrument you have to basically wear! (a marching style Tuba....)
and it's heavy!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sousaphone

Im just going to sit here and giggle at that image for a while.

 

[granfire]

Im just going to sit here and giggle at that image for a while.

Hatin on the band geeks?

[yt]-WY8RKRpYTA[/yt]

 

[Cyriacus]

Hatin on the band geeks?

[yt]-WY8RKRpYTA[/yt]

Are you TRYING to amuse me?