Hey Mom, I will have you arrested if you spank me!

[Big Don]

We've all heard the phrase: "This is going to hurt me more than it hurts you." and that is it, if it doesn't bother you to smack your kid when a smack is warranted, you're doing it wrong.
If you smack your kid or kick your dog or hit your spouse, just because you feel like it, you're doing it wrong, and something is wrong with you.

 

[Gordon Nore]

We've all heard the phrase: "This is going to hurt me more than it hurts you." and that is it, if it doesn't bother you to smack your kid when a smack is warranted, you're doing it wrong...

I'm not a fan of spanking, but I find a great deal of sense in this observation, Don.

I had a very chilling moment one evening on a street corner a few years ago when I stopped to get a coffee. As I was coming back to the car, I spotted a woman shaking her child, whom I guessed to be of primary school age. The shaking was persistent, and the mom was agitated and screaming. Mind you, we're talking about shaking, which is extremely dangerous, not spanking.

What frightened me about the incident was how angry and out-of-control the parent was, and how obviously terrified the child was. I called out several times from across the street, my open cellphone glowing in my hand, asking the woman if she was alright and if she needed help. When she got mad and cursed at me, I explained that I was concerned for her child and was prepared to call the police if need be.

She spun around on her heels, forgot about shrieking at her child and went into a convenience store, arms flailing as she was angrily telling others inside about my rudeness. Fine. She was mad at me and not the kid.

Now back to spanking... like I said, I'm not a fan. I believe that we have children everyday who are in grave physical and emotional danger, and we do not do a very good job of protecting them. I shudder at the thought of criminal justice and youth protection resources being expended to curb spanking.

What bothers me about spanking in this era is that I question the parenting judgment applied prior to the moment the parent decided that spanking was the answer. I think a lot of kids get spanked only after the parent has failed to enforce boundaries and maintain control, and then suddenly decides the kid is being rotten. You can't stuff a kid full of junk food, let him or her stay up until all hours, buy them off with gifts, and then decide s/he is out of control.

This little tidbit from the CBC article was an eye-opener.

Bill S-209, which needs House approval to be made into law, proposes to eliminate Section 43 of Canada's Criminal Code, which allows parents, teachers and caregivers to use reasonable force to discipline a child and correct their behaviour.

I'd like to see more fine print on this. I'm a teacher. In my business physical punishment of someone else's kid has been professionally discredited and is seen as career-ending stupidity. I was paddled by Christian Brothers (a Roman Catholic teaching order) thirty-five years ago. It didn't hurt me personally, but it was a different time, and I cannot imagine how I might react if a teacher did that to my son.

When I deal with a difficult child -- I'm certified for Kindergarten to grade eight -- one of first things that I have to remember is that kid may already be very well-versed at be screamed at or hit. What that child may have learned is that when you get angry, it is acceptable to scream at someone or hit them.

I think there are probably parents who can use spanking effectively, as part of a managed and sensible regimen of discipline. What I suspect is that there fewer and fewer parents with that much sense and forethought.

 

[5-0 Kenpo]

I often have to respond to calls about parents unable to control their children. Usually, after hearing what the child is doing, I ask them (somewhat jokingly, of course) if they beat their child. When they say no, I ask them why not.

Now, I am not suggesting that they beat their children. I do go on to say that I have found, in my experience, that corporal punishment is a very effective tool. I advise them that they can not bruise, cut, or cause them to bleed. I also tell them, as corporal punishment is legally allowable in California, that the child has no right to self-defense. If the child fights back, we will come out and take them to jail for assualt.

As to feeling bothered by spanking a child, I completely disagree. I have no problem with spanking my children. I have seen what the consequenses of not doing so entail. I have no problems with my 3 1/2 year old daughter listening to me now, whereas my ex-wife still does. That is because spanking is an effective tool.

And, quite frankly, it is more likely that spanking was raised to the level of abuse more in the past then now. We have more knowledge as a society as to what abuse entails.

Also, I disagree with the overprotectiveness of governmental agencies. the mere suggestion, with no evidence, on the part of the children that they are scared is enough to pull children from their homes. It is ridiculous. Quite frankly, to some extent, while they are children, I want my children to fear me. The older they get, the more knowledgeable they will become and be able to intellectualize what I have done.

 

[jks9199]

Many young pre-adults and young adults seem to have this sense of entitlement. They feels they are entitled to their own opinion, entitled to be treated a certain way by others and entitled to treat others as they see fit (sometimes not in the nicest way).

The problem is that they don't understand that with a sense of entitlement also comes consequences. If you feel you are so entitled to act a certain way or do a certain thing, you are also entitled to the back lash from your actions. THAT is the key part they seem to be missing.

Many of them have been treated as adults long before they earned the right to be treated that way. Too many parents have tried for years to be their kid's pals and buddies -- when both would be happier if they were to be PARENTS first, and become pals or buddies when the kids are older. My relationship with my parents is different today than it was when I was 15, or even 21. I expect it'll be different still in another 10 or 15 years.

 

[CanuckMA]

How about this for going overboard:

http://news.sympatico.msn.cbc.ca/Co...line=True&subtitle=&detect=&abc=abc&date=True

 

[shesulsa]

How about this for going overboard:

http://news.sympatico.msn.cbc.ca/Co...line=True&subtitle=&detect=&abc=abc&date=True

:barf:

 

[Kacey]

How about this for going overboard:

http://news.sympatico.msn.cbc.ca/Co...line=True&subtitle=&detect=&abc=abc&date=True

The mind boggles. :duh::idunno::eye-popping:

 

[Lisa]

Reminds me of a recent conversation I overhead between two young girls while sitting in a mall cafeteria.

One was expressing how her mother bought her a cell phone and was paying for the service but she lived with only the father.

Anyways, I guess she got a little snotty with the dad and he threatened to take her phone away. So she quickly phoned her mother and asked if her dad had the right to do that, her mother said no, because she was paying for it.

So, she went and told her dad he had no right.

Now, I am sorry, but I think that is just wrong of the mother to say that to her daughter. If she is being a little brat to the dad, and the kid is in his house, his rules should apply and the mom should support him, no matter how much she may dislike him since the divorce. It is just sending the wrong message to the kid and giving her way too much power.

 

[Twin Fist]

i agree with everything shesulsa has written here

 

[Andy Moynihan]

Right. Executive Order. Effective immediately. No more breeding. Anywhere.

(yeah, I know, unenforceable but the way I feel right now I wish it was).

 

[Kacey]

I have way too many middle school students who think this way. Some of their parents couldn't car less when the school calls; others pay lip service to taking "the right steps" and doing nothing; very rarely, we'll have a parent who actually follows through on their child's behavior. It's pretty obvious the next day whose parents have actually done anything by the child's attitude. Now, I'm not saying that all - or even most - of the parents who have kids at my school are bad kids, but then again, the ones who have good parents rarely get in trouble.

On the other hand, there's a reason why all the assistant principals in my school come in to work every Monday morning to a string of phone calls from parents asking what the school is going to do about the behavior of one of the students - some from the parents of the wronged child (teased, bullied, knocked down, stolen from, etc.) and some from the parents of the child who did the teasing, bullying, knocking down, stealing, etc., wanting to know why the school hasn't taught the child better manners.

 

[FearlessFreep]

Right. Executive Order. Effective immediately. No more breeding. Anywhere.

Whew.... glad I got mine done when I had the chance

 

[Andy Moynihan]

But see, now, if every parent was like you, I woulda never have had to do this in the first place

 

[BrandiJo]

i tried that... once... and my mother assured me that if i called the cops she would make sure they had a reason to be there by the time she got done with me. I kinda decided against it.

 

[Empty Hands]

Well, only the good die young, and no good deed goes unpunished, so it should surprise no one that these sorts of measures will cause enormous amounts of pain and chaos to parents using reasonable discipline, while horrendous abuse goes unchecked. Somehow, parents can abuse their children horribly for years, while a woman's baby who had an allergic reaction to a vaccine is taken away for years.

Eventually, all forms of corporal discipline will be banned in the Western world. You heard it here first.

 

[Andy Moynihan]

Oh don't worry, we'll be finished long before that.

 

[Kacey]

Well, only the good die young, and no good deed goes unpunished, so it should surprise no one that these sorts of measures will cause enormous amounts of pain and chaos to parents using reasonable discipline, while horrendous abuse goes unchecked. Somehow, parents can abuse their children horribly for years, while a woman's baby who had an allergic reaction to a vaccine is taken away for years.

Eventually, all forms of corporal discipline will be banned in the Western world. You heard it here first.

Sadly, I've heard it elsewhere before.

You have to be 16 to get a driver's license; you have to be 18 to vote; you have to be 21 to legally buy alcohol... but any idiot can have a child, and usually does. It's too bad that there's no way to require parenting licenses before pregnancy.