Gun lover/ hater, got to get over this.

Brian S

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I grew up around guns. I had my first when I wan only 8 or 9, a .22 long rifle. My dad owned and still does many guns of different sorts. My uncle is a gunsmith and they both taught me how to handle, disassemble, and do regular maintenance on many different weapons. You could say it's in my blood. I have owned many guns myself, you name it, I've probably had it. At present I have none.
This is because in 1997 my mother was murdered by her then husband, technically my stepdad if you will, and then two days later he took his own life with it, good riddens.
It was a cheap little POS .380 that the drunk moron had no business owning to begin with. This has had me toiling for more than ten years now. It's not something you ever get over.
My dad does not understand and is not quite happy with me selling off all of my guns this last year. But everytime I handled one it reminded of that terrible incident. The guns mostly sat around and sat around and I would look at them with disgust sometimes.
I saw the blood covered couch and the crime scene photo's, wish I hadn't.
I like guns,but I hate them. I know it's not an inanimate objects fault what an idiot chose to use it for,but alas....I can't even hunt anymore and I live in Arkansas,lol.

Any advice or helpful comments would be greatly appreciated.
 

shesulsa

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I've been on the wrong side of a gun and a knife and have been attacked ... and I went into martial arts. I still have problems staying out of "the zone" when we go full-speed so I honestly rarely do.

What I'm trying to say is I *kinda* understand where you're coming from, though nothing I've been through can touch what you just typed.

I think you should take all the time you need until you're ready to pick up a gun again. It would be good for you, you know that ... getting back on the horse and all. Witnessing a horrible reminder of the need for respect for weaponry and responsibility therein doesn't make life any easier and doesn't make your committment any lighter.

I dunno. Take your time in getting over it. Take a friend with you - a *friend* or maybe your dad.

I really like knives now - but it took a while and I'm taking my time actually buying the gun. You will get past it. You may not get over it, but you'll get past it.

Finally, I think there's something in you that feels a little responsible in some way - not that you are but it's a normal thing to happen. See a psych specializing in PTSD a few times - may give you some insight.

Good luck and do keep us posted.
 

diamondbar1971

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hey brian,
i live here in missouri and i love to hunt and fish and camp and just walk the trail at pickle springs and go to pink rocks, st. joe park st. francois park, and i have girls, one has guns, fishing tackle, plays all the sports and the other is a bookworm....but both have black belts and both can kick butt if the need should ever arise. its a personal thing about guns, just as abortion, skin flicks, what god you worship if you want or don't want...if you don't want an abortion, don't have one,,,but don't preach to me....if you don't want to watch a skin flick, change the channel,,,but don't preach to me....if you don't
want to pray, then don't...but don't preach to me.....if you don't wanrt to own a gun,,,,don't buy one,,,,,but don't preach to me......its really a simple choice, you have the right to do what you want without me interferring with your choice of whatever it is that you want to do.....and if i want to have an abortion, i have that right to do so without anyone trying to blow me up or the building etc....just like these nut cases that picket the funerals of our dead soldiers. i draw the line at where common sense seems to not be present, don't put a mexican flag or any other flag above my flag don't come to my brothers funeral because he was a soldier and pickett, you will be sorry that you did..thats the way i feel.....but you are not the only one that feels the way you do and don't feel like you should have to explain the why or why
nots.....you are only human and everyone that has a heart or conscience would feel the way you do....you didn't do this evil, someone else did and that is why we have guns in my home,,,there are evil people out there....and that is my choice....my kids are city and country and would not hesitate to defend our family with any and all means possible.....i cry at seeing hungry children living in filth and knowing there is nothing i can do to help them,,,not in the real world anyway...i cry at sad movies, so what, that is the way the lord made me and i have always been this way,,,i even cry in church......so what......so brian, hang in there and kick back and take it as it comes brother.
 

jamz

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It's perfectly all right to enjoy the concept of something, but to dislike the actual practice of it. I'm very sorry for your loss, and I think it's extremely natural to feel revulsion for any object of a type that has caused violent trauma in your life, be it a firearm, candlestick or automobile.

As long as you can be okay with the fact that in general, it's not a bad object to be in place in society (as with firearms, candlesticks and automobiles) it's perfectly acceptable to not want to ever touch one again.

It kind of sounds like your dad is dealing with this in an opposite way, which is fine too, but he should let you roll with your natural reactions.
 
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Brian S

Brian S

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Thanks for all of the responses.

As long as you can be okay with the fact that in general, it's not a bad object to be in place in society (as with firearms, candlesticks and automobiles) it's perfectly acceptable to not want to ever touch one again.

I agree with the rights people have to own guns. I do wish there was a way for more responsible people to have them than irresponsible.
 

tellner

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Life happens, and we are affected by it. If emotional trauma has made you uncomfortable having a gun, then don't keep them. If the distaste interferes with your daily life you might want to look into the short-term phobia therapies. They seem to work pretty well.

I used to love pickled herring. It's a Jewish thing :) A couple years ago I got a bad batch from the supermarket deli case and found out what the term "projectile vomiting" really means. Now I get physically queasy when I see much less smell the stuff. It's unfortunate, but it doesn't interfere with normal functioning, so there's no reason to do anything about it.
 

Lisa

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You have lived through one of the most horrific experiences any human being ever has to go through. It is no wonder that you like guns but hate them. Your father not understanding is not something you need to make him understand. The only thing you need is to do is deal with yourself and your feelings. Nothing else really matters at this point.

In reading your post I noticed that you have some very good memories that are attached to firearms. I think you should remember them fondly, smile when you think of them and do what your heart needs you to at this moment. Who knows, a few years from now, things could change. :)
 

Guardian

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I grew up around guns. I had my first when I wan only 8 or 9, a .22 long rifle. My dad owned and still does many guns of different sorts. My uncle is a gunsmith and they both taught me how to handle, disassemble, and do regular maintenance on many different weapons. You could say it's in my blood. I have owned many guns myself, you name it, I've probably had it. At present I have none.
This is because in 1997 my mother was murdered by her then husband, technically my stepdad if you will, and then two days later he took his own life with it, good riddens.
It was a cheap little POS .380 that the drunk moron had no business owning to begin with. This has had me toiling for more than ten years now. It's not something you ever get over.
My dad does not understand and is not quite happy with me selling off all of my guns this last year. But everytime I handled one it reminded of that terrible incident. The guns mostly sat around and sat around and I would look at them with disgust sometimes.
I saw the blood covered couch and the crime scene photo's, wish I hadn't.
I like guns,but I hate them. I know it's not an inanimate objects fault what an idiot chose to use it for,but alas....I can't even hunt anymore and I live in Arkansas,lol.

Any advice or helpful comments would be greatly appreciated.

I'm sorry for your loss, but there is no advice I can give for this. This is just one of those things that time will have to heal within yourself and to say differently would just be lying to you. Time will not heal this type of wound, but it will allow you time to come to grips with it. Be well and stay safe.
 

arnisandyz

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I'm sorry for your loss, but there is no advice I can give for this. This is just one of those things that time will have to heal within yourself and to say differently would just be lying to you. Time will not heal this type of wound, but it will allow you time to come to grips with it. Be well and stay safe.

+1. I would suggest getting help beyond what a public forum can offer.
 
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