corny joke time

[donald1]

I'm going to use the name Jim, I don't think anyone here is named Jim.

Jim is at the hospital moments away from becoming a father but he decides he wants to leave so he leaves and doesn't get back for 5 years he misses his child and decided to throw a birthday party and gives a toy train and the boy says it's for a baby he doesn't like it
So he leaves never comes back till 5 years and throws another birthday party this time he gives a tricycle but the child says it's too childish and he wants something more mature
The man leaves and comes back 5 years later and this time gives a car shaped bed but the child says it is too childish and didn't like it
So the man stays and treats the child well and good on his 18th,birthday he takes him to his new apartment, the child asks for the birthday present and before the father leaves he tells him don't worry its a very mature gift. And when the son looks in the envelope its a bill

 

[yak sao]

I started a band called 999 Megabytes — we haven’t gotten a gig yet.

 

[yak sao]

Little Johnny was in Sunday School. The teacher was telling them about how Lot and his wife were escaping the city of Sodom. Lot's wife looked back and turned into a pillar of salt.

Little Johnny raised his hand..."that's nothing...me and my little brother and my mom were driving down the road the other day. She looked back to yell at us and turned into a telephone pole"

 

[donald1]

How many martial artists does it take to change a light bulb

1, but everyone else is going to watch and say, that's not how my sensei taught me!

 

[Buka]

Having no kids of his own, Jack sat down with his nephews for a serious talk. "I don't want to end up in a vegetative state attached to a machine, taking in drips of fluids from some bottle to sustain me."

So the little bastards stole his laptop and threw out his wine.

 

[seasoned]

A magician was walking down the street and turned into a grocery store.

 

[Transk53]

Spoiler

What

 

[donnaTKD]

^^^ ????? ^^^

 

[donald1]

I've been making up corny jokes all day but the I've thought of so many i don't know where to starch(start)

A couple years back three friends went on a fishing trip to working trying to make a decent pay not to be mistaken for working hard they definitely were hardly working it was just the 3 of they were just sitting and drinking soda but while there out there a pirate ship comes and the pirates want to kill them. The first friend gets shot several times in the arm and the leg then falls into the water but don't worry hees all right. Then the second friend. Tries to bribe them off and hands the man an apple a day to keep them away... Except there pirates not doctors so it won't keep them away and they throw him in the water the third friend asks notices a big hole in the ship and he knows if they don't kill him he will surely drown. So he says he will not fight try escape if they can grant him one wish and the friend asks for one last mug of soda before he goes and he would have died that day but one thing stopped it though. Root beer floats

One more...
Three friends are in the dessert they are all tired and been out there for days. They find a lamp and short story its a genie so they get one wish each. The first friend says he wants to go home... Poof now he is home. The second friend says take me home too... Poof now he is also home but the third friend is scared and doesn't know what to do so he says i wish my friends were here to help me decide

 

[donald1]

I always work 50/50 when working with a partner... Partner does all the work I take all the credit... 50/50 just like I said

 

[Transk53]

^^^ ????? ^^^

Was going to post a joke, but the spoiler code is not enabled. No delete key lol.

 

[donald1]

What did Mr. T say after he left a martial arts dojo

I pity that Kung Foo

 

[yak sao]

A set of jumper cables walks into a bar.
The bartender says "ok, I'll serve you, but don't start anything"

 

[donald1]

I can't tell any more jokes cause I ran out of corny jokes, the rest of my jokes are all cheesy

 

[Buka]

 

[AdamGrose]

WHOLE different thread!!!

I can't tell any more jokes cause I ran out of corny jokes, the rest of my jokes are all cheesy

 

[ks - learning to fly]

..I didn't know why the baseball kept getting so big..and then, it hit me!!!

 

[donald1]

I like baseball you get to walk, steal bases and run home

 

[donnaTKD]

I can't tell any more jokes cause I ran out of corny jokes, the rest of my jokes are all cheesy

doesn't matter get em written on these boards

 

[donald1]

Hmmm corny jokes... I don't know where to starch