Chinese proverb

[Ivan]

He who blames others has a long way to go on his journey. He who blames himself is halfway there. He who blames no one has arrived. -
Chinese Proverb
I was hoping someone could help me understand what the last part of the proverb means? Currently, I am “halfway there”. I am a big proponent for personao responsibility and believe that I am where I am due to my choices. I just don’t understand what it means to blame no one?

 

[Dirty Dog]

He who blames others has a long way to go on his journey. He who blames himself is halfway there. He who blames no one has arrived. -
Chinese Proverb
I was hoping someone could help me understand what the last part of the proverb means? Currently, I am “halfway there”. I am a big proponent for personao responsibility and believe that I am where I am due to my choices. I just don’t understand what it means to blame no one?

Why are you looking for someone to blame in the first place?

 

[Ivan]

Well because someone has to be punished for my failures or weakness. And that’s me. How will I grow stronger if I don’t punish myself for my faults? If I skip a workout I have to hold myself accountable and do better.

Why are you looking for someone to blame in the first place?

 

[Dirty Dog]

Well because someone has to be punished for my failures or weakness. And that’s me. How will I grow stronger if I don’t punish myself for my faults? If I skip a workout I have to hold myself accountable and do better.

So... you clearly still don't understand the proverb.

 

[Ivan]

So... you clearly still don't understand the proverb.

That’s… why I’m here

 

[Dirty Dog]

That’s… why I’m here

The proverb is not in the least subtle or puzzling. You've been given a plain and simple answer.
If it's still not clear, you're just not capable of understanding at this time. Maybe some introspection would help.

 

[Ivan]

The proverb is not in the least subtle or puzzling. You've been given a plain and simple answer.
If it's still not clear, you're just not capable of understanding at this time. Maybe some introspection would help.

Hm I was afraid that was the case. I guess I will see where I stand on this in 5 years time.

 

[Kung Fu Wang]

He who blames others has a long way to go on his journey. He who blames himself is halfway there. He who blames no one has arrived. -
Chinese Proverb

Use personal training as example.

1. Blame others - My job, my family just keep me too busy and I don't have time to train (I'll train when I get fired from my job, and get devoiced from my wife).

2. Blame yourself - I'm too lazy to train (I'll train when I don't feel lazy).

3. Blame no one - I enjoy my training. I put my training as my highest priority above my job, above my family (nobody can stop me from my training).

For 3, you blame no one because the term "blame" doesn't even exist.

Many people stop training because they moved into a new town (blame yourself) and could not find a teacher (blame others). They can just trained whatever that they have learned for the rest of their life (blame no one).

Even if you just train "groin kick, face punch" for the rest of your life, you will still be in better physical shape than those who doesn't train.

 

[JowGaWolf]

Well because someone has to be punished for my failures or weakness. And that’s me. How will I grow stronger if I don’t punish myself for my faults? If I skip a workout I have to hold myself accountable and do better.

Yeah definitely change this line of thought. Punished for failures or weakness is not a good perspective for training. Here's how my training goes.

1. Failures are opportunities to identify and learn about my weaknesses.

2. Failures make me mentally strong because each time I fail, I know that it's something I can and will overcome.

3. Weakness are opportunities to identify the things that my opponent will try to take advantage of. Weakness informs me of the things that need to focus on to be stronger. It's better to know that there's a crack in the damn than not to know. A weakness you know is something that can be fixed. A weakness that you don't know is something that can turn into disaster.

As for training. Training should never be something that you place blame on. Your training should always be focused on getting better, staying strong, or being at peace with yourself.

Like Kung Wang stated "I enjoy my training."

You'll stunt your skill growth if you start blaming yourself about your training.

 

[seasoned]

He who blames others has a long way to go on his journey. He who blames himself is halfway there. He who blames no one has arrived. -
Chinese Proverb
I was hoping someone could help me understand what the last part of the proverb means? Currently, I am “halfway there”. I am a big proponent for personao responsibility and believe that I am where I am due to my choices. I just don’t understand what it means to blame no one?

Self analyze starting tomorrow. Find out first if you go through life placing blame for anything or everything, onto someone. Once you become aware of this know that this causes frustration and negativity "if" you are guilty of it. Once you self analyze then be aware of other people more and forgive them for any short comings. Give this time to resonate in you and you may start to look at life in a much different way. There is no time limit on this but the gauge is to go back to the Chinese Proverb and see if it's true meaning is clearer.

Martial arts as well as many things in life have to be felt to understand and not just read.

 

[Wing Woo Gar]

Yeah definitely change this line of thought. Punished for failures or weakness is not a good perspective for training. Here's how my training goes.

1. Failures are opportunities to identify and learn about my weaknesses.

2. Failures make me mentally strong because each time I fail, I know that it's something I can and will overcome.

3. Weakness are opportunities to identify the things that my opponent will try to take advantage of. Weakness informs me of the things that need to focus on to be stronger. It's better to know that there's a crack in the damn than not to know. A weakness you know is something that can be fixed. A weakness that you don't know is something that can turn into disaster.

As for training. Training should never be something that you place blame on. Your training should always be focused on getting better, staying strong, or being at peace with yourself.

Like Kung Wang stated "I enjoy my training."

You'll stunt your skill growth if you start blaming yourself about your training.

Become weak to become strong. It’s one of the virtues, its one of the characters for Courage. Courage to fight for those who cannot fight themselves, courage to be weak in order to become strong.

 

[Oily Dragon]

He who blames others has a long way to go on his journey. He who blames himself is halfway there. He who blames no one has arrived. -
Chinese Proverb

Sounds Chinese alright.

 

[drop bear]

According to Nietzsche adversity is a gift.

 

[skribs]

So... you clearly still don't understand the proverb.

Isn't that the point of his question?

 

[Dirty Dog]

Isn't that the point of his question?

Spoon feeding isn't a good thing, except for toddlers. The proverb is quite straight forward, as is the explanation given. If he still doesn't understand it, then the problem lies with him, and nobody else can fix it.

 

[JowGaWolf]

Isn't that the point of his question?

Dirty Dog gave the answer to his question. But it wasn't a direct answer. More like if you think about his question "Why are you looking for someone to blame in the first place?" then you will get the answer. Sort of like how Proverbs work. Never a really a direct lesson, but something to think about and reflect on.

 

[seasoned]

Dirty Dog gave the answer to his question. But it wasn't a direct answer. More like if you think about his question "Why are you looking for someone to blame in the first place?" then you will get the answer. Sort of like how Proverbs work. Never a really a direct lesson, but something to think about and reflect on.

Exactly, peel back the layers within yourself....it all points back to the person looking for clarity. If you can't find it you're looking in the wrong place....

 

[skribs]

Spoon feeding isn't a good thing, except for toddlers. The proverb is quite straight forward, as is the explanation given. If he still doesn't understand it, then the problem lies with him, and nobody else can fix it.

It may be straightforward to you, but it's not to him. You may even have it wrong.

Even in college classes, they "spoonfeed" you information. In calculus, they give you the formulas and explain how they work. They don't just put an equation you've never seen before on the board and expect to figure out. In psychology classes, they tell you what theories prior psychologists had, what those theories mean, and how those psychologists created them. They don't just tell you "Jung believed in the collective unconscious" and then expect you to figure out what that means.

If a student is struggling to figure out a technique, I can give them tips to improve it. Sometimes, more reps is the answer. But sometimes a little tip can save a lot of time. That tip might help them understand other techniques they were struggling with.

I had a coworker who thought like you. His attitude was that he had to figure everything out, therefore everyone else should have to as well. He didn't document anything. The result is that when he retired, and his work was divided, everyone had to spend months trying to figure out how he'd set everything up. He wasted months of time because of this attitude. People were able to figure it out, but our customers suffered as a result.

 

[Monkey Turned Wolf]

It may be straightforward to you, but it's not to him. You may even have it wrong.

Even in college classes, they "spoonfeed" you information. In calculus, they give you the formulas and explain how they work. They don't just put an equation you've never seen before on the board and expect to figure out. In psychology classes, they tell you what theories prior psychologists had, what those theories mean, and how those psychologists created them. They don't just tell you "Jung believed in the collective unconscious" and then expect you to figure out what that means.

If a student is struggling to figure out a technique, I can give them tips to improve it. Sometimes, more reps is the answer. But sometimes a little tip can save a lot of time. That tip might help them understand other techniques they were struggling with.

I had a coworker who thought like you. His attitude was that he had to figure everything out, therefore everyone else should have to as well. He didn't document anything. The result is that when he retired, and his work was divided, everyone had to spend months trying to figure out how he'd set everything up. He wasted months of time because of this attitude. People were able to figure it out, but our customers suffered as a result.

He gave him the answer, in his first reply. Him saying he doesn't understand is a second tip.

 

[drop bear]

Well because someone has to be punished for my failures or weakness. And that’s me. How will I grow stronger if I don’t punish myself for my faults? If I skip a workout I have to hold myself accountable and do better.

Ok. Another way to Mabye think about this is. When you are driving and you are going to hit a car. You don't focus on the car. You focus on the escape route.

So again if we look.at stoicism. They are big proponents of focusing on what they can control and not focusing on what they can't control.

You can't control who was at fault at the time. But you can control your reaction to it. So even blaming yourself is technically wasted effort that could be put into developing from the experience.

And look this came up in conversation today with some of our first time fighters.

They can't control what the opponent does. If he is better. They might loose. And that is just the way it is. But they can control the level of preparation they bring to their fight. And that is what they need to focus on.

Here we go.

Humans can’t control anything—except our own happiness

Stoicism holds that the key to a good, happy life is the cultivation of an excellent mental state.

qz.com

Now if you are blaming yourself for thing you have no control over in this context. You may be wasting resources better spent elsewhere.