Chinese proverb

[Wing Woo Gar]

A friend of mine told his wife, "Appreciate for all these years that you have spent with me. Today I'm going to promote you from wife to number one wife."

I’m not brave enough. I Have some small amount of self preservation sense as well.

 

[KungfukennyG]

He who blames others has a long way to go on his journey. He who blames himself is halfway there. He who blames no one has arrived. -
Chinese Proverb
I was hoping someone could help me understand what the last part of the proverb means? Currently, I am “halfway there”. I am a big proponent for personao responsibility and believe that I am where I am due to my choices. I just don’t understand what it means to blame no one?

When you blame no one, you are enlightened. That's what it means. You have arrived at enlightenment, casting off the burden and weight of blaming yourself or other people. Walk on. If you sabotage yourself, recover and walk on. If other people sabotage you, recover and walk on. In the end, you achieve your goal and there is no one to blame. Sometimes, the people who sabotage us can be helpful, too, because they can make us more determined after we recover from their efforts. And sometimes, we continue to walk on even when we tell ourselves we can't. We do it anyway. I think this is what it means.

 

[Oily Dragon]

When you blame no one, you are enlightened. That's what it means. You have arrived at enlightenment, casting off the burden and weight of blaming yourself or other people. Walk on. If you sabotage yourself, recover and walk on. If other people sabotage you, recover and walk on. In the end, you achieve your goal and there is no one to blame. Sometimes, the people who sabotage us can be helpful, too, because they can make us more determined after we recover from their efforts. And sometimes, we continue to walk on even when we tell ourselves we can't. We do it anyway. I think this is what it means.

 

[Gerry Seymour]

My wife has an amazing memory: "do you remember, last year at this time, we were ..."

Dammit.

Fortunately, I don’t have an amazing memory, so I can honestly reply, “No, I don’t.”

 

[Steve]

I don't know about you guys, but the women in my house are all literal geniuses. There is no hope for me.

 

[seasoned]

I don't know about you guys, but the women in my house are all literal geniuses. There is no hope for me.

The only hope is to agree and submit....

 

[Wing Woo Gar]

I don't know about you guys, but the women in my house are all literal geniuses. There is no hope for me.

Nope no chance here either.

 

[Xue Sheng]

I’m not brave enough. I Have some small amount of self preservation sense as well.

Got to tell you this story. Good friends of mine from Guangzhou China. We were having a conversation and the wife told me her mother was #3 wife to her father. Then she looked at her husband and said to me, "if he wanted more than one wife I'd kill him". He looked at me and said, "If I had more than one wife I'd kill myself"

 

[Wing Woo Gar]

Got to tell you this story. Good friends of mine from Guangzhou China. We were having a conversation and the wife told me her mother was #3 wife to her father. Then she looked at her husband and said to me, "if he wanted more than one wife I'd kill him". He looked at me and said, "If I had more than one wife I'd kill myself"

 

[JowGaWolf]

"If I had more than one wife I'd kill myself"

yes. This.

 

[Gerry Seymour]

I don't know about you guys, but the women in my house are all literal geniuses. There is no hope for me.

My wife argues I'm the smartest person in the house, but....I haven't published over 160 books. So, if I'm smarter, it doesn't show in the results.

 

[Wing Woo Gar]

My wife argues I'm the smartest person in the house, but....I haven't published over 160 books. So, if I'm smarter, it doesn't show in the results.

Results are what counts… right? I heard that a lot from my Sifu.

 

[JowGaWolf]

My wife argues I'm the smartest person in the house,

It's a set up lol.

 

[MrBigglesworth]

For me, it seems that if you blame anyone (including yourself), then you're not at peace with yourself.
Failure doesn't *require* blame or shame. Accept it, learn from it and try again a little bit wiser.
Blame and shame are signs that you're stuck at your point of failure, so how can you ever get to where you need to be?

 

[Wing Woo Gar]

For me, it seems that if you blame anyone (including yourself), then you're not at peace with yourself.
Failure doesn't *require* blame or shame. Accept it, learn from it and try again a little bit wiser.
Blame and shame are signs that you're stuck at your point of failure, so how can you ever get to where you need to be?

I don’t think of it as failure, I see it as an opportunity to learn or teach. It doesn’t have to have any negative connotations.

 

[Xue Sheng]

For me, it seems that if you blame anyone (including yourself), then you're not at peace with yourself.
Failure doesn't *require* blame or shame. Accept it, learn from it and try again a little bit wiser.
Blame and shame are signs that you're stuck at your point of failure, so how can you ever get to where you need to be?

Well...there is a Chinese proverb that says...."It's my fault" no matter what it is...'it's my fault" at least that is what my wife tells me...and she's Chinese, so it must be a proverb

 

[Steve]

I don’t think of it as failure, I see it as an opportunity to learn or teach. It doesn’t have to have any negative connotations.

Oh, I don't know. I think failing is a thing we all do, and rebranding failure as something can be counterproductive. Better to embrace failure as a integral part of learning.

While some folks will groan when I say this, I think this idea is central to why some styles succeed and others struggle at maintaining standards. As the dog in @drop bear 's video said, sucking at something is the first step to being kind of good at something (or something like that).

 

[Gerry Seymour]

Oh, I don't know. I think failing is a thing we all do, and rebranding failure as something can be counterproductive. Better to embrace failure as a integral part of learning.

While some folks will groan when I say this, I think this idea is central to why some styles succeed and others struggle at maintaining standards. As the dog in @drop bear 's video said, sucking at something is the first step to being kind of good at something (or something like that).

I think reframing might be helpful for folks who have a problem with the feeling that failure is final. Some folks were basically taught that growing up (and I've seen some workplaces that taught it).

But I agree that the concept of failing should be something we embrace. If we can't fail at something - if that's not a possibility - then we're never really pushing at all, nowhere near our limits, so we don't know where those limits are.

 

[Steve]

I think reframing might be helpful for folks who have a problem with the feeling that failure is final. Some folks were basically taught that growing up (and I've seen some workplaces that taught it).

I hear you. I just don't think rebranding works all that well, though. I actually believe it's counterproductive.

Resilient people don't deceive themselves. They accept adversity as part of the process and keep chugging along.

Resilient teams don't punish their peeps for taking risks and failing.

But I agree that the concept of failing should be something we embrace. If we can't fail at something - if that's not a possibility - then we're never really pushing at all, nowhere near our limits, so we don't know where those limits are.

Totally. I mean, there's a little more to it, but if you're taking risks, being creative, and understanding that if you're really pushing boundaries, you will fail more than you succeed, you are doing it right.

 

[Wing Woo Gar]

Well...there is a Chinese proverb that says...."It's my fault" no matter what it is...'it's my fault" at least that is what my wife tells me...and she's Chinese, so it must be a proverb

That’s a funny! When training, my Sifu would often say to me, ”don’t worry if you are right or wrong, you are wrong”.