Well, if I *Had* a school it'd go like this, we'll set the time 10, 15 years in the future:
ANDY: Do you understand what it is you're doing? What you've just done is not the same as simply asking for a friendly spar. People stopped doing this 20 and 30 years ago because of what used to happen to people in them. Do you understand that?
KID: (gives whatever response he does)
ANDY: Son, how old are you?
KID: 15.
ANDY: When are you gonna be 18?
KID: (gives a month/year)
ANDY: OK, if at that time you still wanna do this, come back and talk to me. I don't need the cops lookin' to pick me up for assaulting a minor. HOWEVER-- In the meantime, come over here with me, there's something I wanna show you and something I want you to think about for those 3 years.
*walks the kid over to his uncle's shadow box he made that has the triangular folded flag, his posthumous Purple Heart, his unit patches/pins and such.
ANDY: When my uncle was killed in Vietnam, his family got this Purple Heart. He served in the 25th Infantry Division as a medic. He was killed by a sniper outside Cu Chi in 1969.He was supposed to be shipped out to Germany that year, but chose Vietnam instead despite the danger he knew was there. Do you know why he did this?
KID: (gives whatever answer he gives, probably "no" or "why")
ANDY: OK, now look over here.
* Andy shows the kid his own two shadowboxes--one from his days in the Massachusetts State Guard, the other from his time in Civil Air Patrol( served concurrently).
ANDY: These are from MY days in uniform--I joined both these services when I was 29. I first tried to join the regular federal forces the week I turned 17, but was turned away for my hearing problem. Some years later when 9/11 happened, I came to be very frustrated that I couldn't be out there doing what had to be done. So when I learned that My home state at the time had such a force available, my best friend had been in a few years before me and they were for real, and I got in. Do you know why *I* did this?
KID: (gives whatever answer, maybe even closer to what I'm trying to drive home to him).
ANDY: The common bond between my uncle and I, even though he died before I was born, is this: WE READIED OURSELVES TO FIGHT FOR A CAUSE BIGGER THAN OURSELVES.
When my uncle chose instead to deploy to Vietnam, he didn't do it for some bull**** abstract like his Flag, his Nation, or "Democracy"--he went to be near his COMRADES. It was his job to heal the wounded and he wanted the people he cared about to be safe, enough that he risked, and gave, his life for them, in order to do *whatever it took to look after the ones he cared about.*
I didn't swear in or put a uniform on for some bull**** abstract like my Flag, my Nation or "Democracy For damnsure I didn't do it for our President at the time.
I chose to volunteer for this way of life for one simple reason: I want the people I care about to be safe. Which included my brothers and sisters in my unit as well as my family, friends and countrymen.
Now I wasn't so naive as to think that I could wave my magic bayonet and magically prevent anything from happening to them specifically, but I guess what I was hoping is that if there IS some kind of higher power pulling strings up there, that maybe it understands fair trade. That if I prepared to face the bad things, maybe they wouldn't have to.
And that's the whole point of this little talk: You came in here today, I'm thinkin', because you wanna get strong.
So I'm thinkin' maybe you need to ask yourself of just what exactly "strong" is.
Has anything I've said sunk in?
KID: answers however he does, I'm hoping he starts to "get it")
ANDY: So now you're starting to understand that the reason you train is less about you and more about keeping the people you care about safe, and if you're any kind of "awake", it's startin' to switch on in your head now why this approach you're takin' seeking out violence for its own sake isn't ****in' kid stuff , good to go?
KID: (answers however he does, hopefully he's enough on board I can continue and close this out).
*Andy points one last time to Uncle Ricky's Purple Heart*
"Whatever it takes to look after those you care about"......and maybe now you're starting to understand just exactly what that means. THAT'S where the strength you need comes from, son, not challenge matches. Keep training, keep working out, but always remember this talk we're having.
*Andy reaches into his pocket and pulls out his 25th Infantry challenge coin he keeps around in his uncle's honor.
ANDY: I want you to keep that, to remind you of this talk we had. In the meantime, you can start changing what you need to about how you view things on your way out--when you find yourself walking out on that street, or next time you're out with your friends or wherever, quit thinking in terms of, "these people better watch out, because I'm here".or trying to out-stare them or whatever, instead just look, give'em a slight smile and a little nod, and think from the point of, "Everyone in this place is just that little bit safer because I am here". You'll find that people in general are less likely to be put off and you'll make more friends that way as a side benefit. People's perception of you is that subtle, but that real, and I'll bet you dollars to donuts you'll find that your number of "high-risk" incidents rapidly drops to near zero.
I've a class to get back to, but I hope I've given you something to think about in the time before we meet again. Have a good night, "
