Does MA help teens make better choices?

[Carol]

Last night on a late commute home, I tunred north on Interstate 95, and settled in for the usual final 10 miles of my trip...usually an effortless glide past a string of quiet suburbs. Last night was the exception. Partway up the interstate, a sea of brake lights and blue lights slowed me down to a crawl. I drove past a car in indescribable condition.

Today I learned that speed was the likely cause. There is no indication that they were drinking.

There were three 16 year olds in the car, a boy driver, a girl passenger, a boy passenger. The driver and the girl are gone. The boy passenger is critical.

The driver had attended a private high school near me that is known for it's academic rigor. He definitely had some smarts. But, when he was given a new responsibility, he made some horrible choices. He wasn't supposed to have teens with him when he drove (junior license). He wasn't supposed to speed. And now...three families have been devastated, and the two communities that were home to these teens are mourning the results of his terrible judgment.

It crushes me to hear stories like this...to see young people screw up their own lives (as well as others) when given their first chance at some individual freedom. It is even more befuddling when seeing that the driver was very likely a decent kid in other aspects of his life.

For you folks that have teenagers, or that teach teenagers...do you think that the disciplines and responsibilities of MA can help some teens make better choices in their life?

And as a follow on...do you find that some teens are stubborn enough that they will do what they want to do, regardless of their training?

I'm just curious...and trying to make some sense out of a situation that doesn't make any sense at all...

 

[terryl965]

I believe MA can lay a foundation to build great charactor for them along with giving them a crtain respect level to build off of. I know it has helped me with my life and know my kids are on the same path.
Terry

 

[Andrew Green]

Martial arts is an activity, like any other. It is neither good or bad for you in itself. A good club, with good coaches and a good attitude towards it are what makes it beneficial.

There are definately clubs which are good for people, give them stress release, give them something to focus on, make them feel good about themselves and others. There are also clubs that are the opposite, almost cult like in how they opperate, teach people fear, paranoia, near worship of the leaders.

Martial arts, in a good club, can be a great thing, as long as the individual WANTS it. You can not put a person into an activity and expect it to work for them, regardless of how good the club is. If it is not something that interests them they will never "belong" and never benefit.

So if martial arts clicks for someone, great. If Chess club does, that's good too. Drawing? Guitar? Writing? all good things as well, all can have the same effect, providing there is freedom to do them and positive coaching.

 

[Jonathan Randall]

Even good kids can make bad decisions. Same with adults - ever make a bad decision that could have had disastrous consequences, but fortunately didn't? Unfortunately the consequences of bad decisions can be fatal. This is a real tragedy, but I don't think martial arts training in self-discipline alone would have prevented this.

I really sympathize with the families tonight. :asian:

 

[bushidomartialarts]

I agree with Mr. Green -- that the personality and spirit of the club and coaches are far more important than the activity. That said, martial arts has been shown to build certain character traits that lead to good decision making -- patience, self-confidence, the ability to delay gratification, for example.

So while a good chess coach is more likely to lead to better teen decisions than a poor martial arts coach, a good martial arts coach will do more good than a good chess coach.

Still and all, the more active a teenager is, the better off they tend to be. I sometimes suspect that I survived puberty because I was involved in too many activities to find time to get into trouble.

 

[IcemanSK]

Even good kids can make bad decisions. Same with adults - ever make a bad decision that could have had disastrous consequences, but fortunately didn't? Unfortunately the consequences of bad decisions can be fatal. This is a real tragedy, but I don't think martial arts training in self-discipline alone would have prevented this.

I really sympathize with the families tonight. :asian:

I agree w/ Mr. Randall here. It goes to choices each person makes. MA training, religious training & other positive influences on teens (& adults for that matter) ought to play a part in decisions we make. But it doesn't always. Heck, I know that in my own life. However, I think the more positive outlets we have & role-models we put in our lives can mitigate the bad choices we make.

my 2 cents.

 

[still learning]

Hello, Very sad when kids get kill for doing the wrong things.

In martial arts? Being the right role model (all the adults) at all times is very important because the Kids in class look up their Intructors and another adults in the class.

If the kids friends said I out ran the police! ...they thought they could too? ...most times they will lose.

I believe MA does give guidance and encouragment in their growth. My Instructor and I, both as Parents...always have pass on our values to the young kids and teens. We share alot of things when we were growing up to the students. Giving them things to think about...the Successes and failers of everyday living.

Anytime you can set good examples for others to follow? ....You are helping others to be winners too~!!!!! ....Aloha

 

[Flatlander]

I agree with the sentiment that the general statement that MA training will help teens make better choices is fallacious; there are so many mitigating factors. Personally, my opinion is that the ability to use reason and judgement in our lives is something that we acquire through good parenting, mentoring and positive role models. So, if some of these positive influences are part of the teens' MA training experience, then yes, MA training will help them make better choices. However, it will be a function of the quality of the instructor's personality, rather than the training itself.

Perhaps a better solution is to give our children reasoning skills through good parenting and as part of their educational curriculum.

 

[Kacey]

I would have to agree with previous posters - MA, taught by instructors who include a moral component (e.g. making appropriate choices in regards to the skills taught in class) can have a beneficial effect on teens - but so can any other activity in which teens, or younger children, can see adults making good choices. Parents, also, can provide such guidance - or not, depending on their skills. It is not the activity, I think, but the example that makes the difference.

Too many people espouse the "do as I say, not as I do" attitude, leaving teens confused and conflicted - in this case, a teen who may have watched parents speed for years while talking to passengers may have copied the example given, with tragic results.

 

[DeLamar.J]

Good parenting is the key, and even that is no guarantee that kids are not going to do stupid things to get themselves killed. All you can do is your best, from there its up to them. You cant supervise a person 24-7.

 

[Cruentus]

I will say that unequivically, being focused on a positive activity can keep you out of trouble as a teen. Martial Arts is a great activity for kids and teens because on top of it being a physical activity with the benefits of being involved in a sport, with the right program and instructor it help ingrain a particular morality and give kids an identity that is at ends with getting in serious trouble.

One of the things that seperates us human beings from the rest of the animal kingdom is consciousness and identity. As individuals, we will fight tooth and nail against doing something that doesn't fit our identity. So, as a kid, I believed that martial artists are supposed to be protectors and examples of society, and therefore wouldn't do something to seriously break the law or harm someone else. Martial Artists also must have a clear mind and healthy body, so doing any sort of substance didn't fit either. So, because of this "martial artists identity" that I had built around myself, as influenced by very good instructors, I would never do the things that would get me into serious trouble, despite the temptations.

One thing that martial arts do effectively is they can help mold peoples identity. Just look around at all the different factions out there, with different uniforms, different methods, and different ideas - all part of the identity building process. This often times can be a very negative thing, and can create a "martial cult" atmosphere, and can get in the way of objectivity. But in the case of helping kids, this identity building aspect of martial arts can be used in a positive manner.

I was a product of this. I grew up around criminal elements, both in the circles I hung out in and in my family. Many of my friends and aquaintences from my high school years had gone on to bigger and better things, like drug trafficing, grand theft, assault, armed robbery, and murder to name a few things. I did none of those things despite all of what was in my environement at the time, and I grew up to be a productive memebr of society.

So, I would say that hands down, with the right training program martial arts can be lifesaving for kids to get involved in.

Paul

 

[TigerWoman]

It might not have been speed, it might have just been distraction within the car. I've always forbidden my son or daughter to ride with other teens just for that reason. I told her once she gets in someone's car, her iife is in their hands. Does she know them well enough? I think M'sota made it a law or tried to make it a law that you have to be 18 to transport another underage teen. We have been having a rash of semi vs truck or vs suv. We have been having bad weather but in the last semi accident, it wasn't the weather. Just driver inattentiveness. But it seems like more of the young people are the ones who get into accidents. As we get older we try to err on the side of caution, go slower at night, not pass on two lane hwys, not try to squeeze between a semi and truck to get around. But still all kinds of stuff happens.

I tried to instill a sense of respect for moving vehicles, danger if you will, and the saying better to be safe than sorry, in my kids. Nevertheless, right off the bat in AZ, my daughter rear ends someone else because she was following too close and got rear-ended as well for stopping short. So knowing that she shouldn't follow too close, didn't come home to her without the real experience. And then young people think that it can't happen to them, they are too young and too full of life and all that stuff your Mom and Dad tells them doesn't really happen. Until it happens. I breathe a sigh of relief when my son has driven home from the Cities at night. Just because he is young and an immature driver.

As parents we just try to give them tools to make the right choices, Girl Scouts, Boy Scouts, church, and martial arts. They are just tools to reinforce what we as parents and other role models in their lives have told them. But we can't protect them from fluke accidents. Like a tire blowing out as you pass a semi. Or a load of pipes from a semi hurtling across the divide. We've had alot of accidents with our snow storms lately, so many that it makes ME nervous to drive. I guess your mortality isn't felt until you age and you stop taking unnecessary risks. Sad about the 16 yr. olds. TW

 

[Cirdan]

I think that most MA training by its very nature (hard physical activiety in an atmosphere of respect) builds character but this is certainly not always true and as induviduals we all have our own weaknesses. One of the BB at our school (in his thirties and he has been training since he was a kid) is a great guy but he is also one of the most irresponsible drivers I`ve ever met. Go figure.

 

[Hand Sword]

I feel that the martial arts, like some other things could help in this area. However, it is up to the individual, whether or not they take it in and follow the advice. For me, it helped, but, I was a loner anyway, and didn't mind doing my own thing. Somer feel that social pressure so much, that it doesn't matter a bit about religion, family, or martial art training. When situations like this ocurred, and they were asked why they did something stupid, it was usually, I heard the voices, and knew better, but, I just couldn't stop myself!"