Insults
- Thread starter granfire
- Start date
I think I'll pass. No offense.
To be blunt, because that kind of passive-aggressive hoo-hah is not something that I care get involved in. If you have a problem with something someone said, talk to them about it. Just my 2 cents. I'm too old for my own drama, no time for anyone else's.
Sounds like something that's going to end with
"....and that's how the fight started."
Clearly has nothing to do with the subject's wife, its an emotional game trying to get the subject riled up. I don't take the bait.
I'd say I drop the subject and move on, but its not that cleanly done. Realistically, my overly-analytical brain gets stuck in a feedback loop trying to understand exactly how one could insult my spouse without having met them. I'm not kidding, stuff like that puts a vague incomprehensible expression on my face and it tends to throw people off. Then, THEY end up being the one that awkwardly drops the subject and move on.
Sometimes geekdom has its advantages I guess :idunno:
"....and that's how the fight started."
Clearly has nothing to do with the subject's wife, its an emotional game trying to get the subject riled up. I don't take the bait.
I'd say I drop the subject and move on, but its not that cleanly done. Realistically, my overly-analytical brain gets stuck in a feedback loop trying to understand exactly how one could insult my spouse without having met them. I'm not kidding, stuff like that puts a vague incomprehensible expression on my face and it tends to throw people off. Then, THEY end up being the one that awkwardly drops the subject and move on.
Sometimes geekdom has its advantages I guess :idunno:
On a totally random note, my ex was a master at deflating these situations. It was amazing to see the situations he could calmly breeze through. If someone approached him with an irrational point, or if an argument was spinning out of control, he'd tell the person in a calm voice to get a drink of water. When the person gave him the "wait...what...?" pause, he would say "I can't discuss anything rationally with you right now. Perhaps you're too run down. Get a drink of water, take a moment to recharge, and we'll discuss this like reasonable people" Worked like a charm -- at least the way he did it. He had the balanced, even personality to pull it off.
oftheherd1
Senior Master
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Not knowing any of the people involved nor the location or circumstances, it is difficult to comment. There are people in the world who are clueless about social interaction. You can try to tolerate them, avoid them, or confront them. There are people who seem to find their own perverse enjoyment in causing confrontation. I think you have the same choices. There are some people who have mental issues and their actions are not always under their complete control.
That may not be what you are looking for, but I don't know anything else to say. Life is full of things we don't like and we have choices. Some seem good at the time, and we always feel we have done right. Sometimes we wish we had done things differently, even if it would have seemed at the time we had to demean ourselves in some way. No one can easily comment or give you advice given what you have presented. I just wish you good in dealing with it.
That may not be what you are looking for, but I don't know anything else to say. Life is full of things we don't like and we have choices. Some seem good at the time, and we always feel we have done right. Sometimes we wish we had done things differently, even if it would have seemed at the time we had to demean ourselves in some way. No one can easily comment or give you advice given what you have presented. I just wish you good in dealing with it.
oaktree
Master of Arts
To me you have 2 options you can show no mercy
And rip out their heart so they can watch it beat
Before they die or ignore the comment because
You know better than them concerning your personal
Life and who your married to.
And rip out their heart so they can watch it beat
Before they die or ignore the comment because
You know better than them concerning your personal
Life and who your married to.
Frankly, my wife is quite capable of handling idiots herself. I don't need to do anything. Now, if she taps me in and we double team said idiot, the insulting person stands no chance. No fight will be started. There is a lot to be said about dominating someone's mind so completely that at the end of the night they are apologizing profusely and demonstrating deference and contrition.
...now that we have ever done that. Nope. Not ever..
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...now that we have ever done that. Nope. Not ever..
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I think that's the first time I've ever seen someone respond with a "I have no response" response.
Yea, Kinda the same here. If you go toe to toe with her, you better not be posturing. She isn't.
It really depends on the "why' of it though. If someone is merely trying to provoke me or to be intentionally disrespectful, I'm ashamed to admit it would probably work.
OP
granfire
Sr. Grandmaster
- Thread Starter
- #13
Well, I am sure most women are able to meet an insult head on -or have the grace to stand above it.
Main point being the person doing the insulting has not (nor probably ever will) met the person he insulted.
I probably should have slept on it before posting.
I might have had the clarity to not post.
Anyhow, I am of the opinion that you just don't insult another man's woman to his face, no matter the reasons, or how true or wrong. In a best case scenario you ruin the relationship you have with the man, in a worst case scenario you might start a fight that could end badly.
And no, it was not be being insulted.
Main point being the person doing the insulting has not (nor probably ever will) met the person he insulted.
I probably should have slept on it before posting.
I might have had the clarity to not post.
Anyhow, I am of the opinion that you just don't insult another man's woman to his face, no matter the reasons, or how true or wrong. In a best case scenario you ruin the relationship you have with the man, in a worst case scenario you might start a fight that could end badly.
And no, it was not be being insulted.
I hope you figure it out G. It sounds as if it is a problem that we cannot know deeply without being in your shoes / the shoes of the protagonist. I do not like unpleasantness and imagine this offence might be difficult to understand if the motivation for it is unclear. I think in the end we cannot control the actions of others and but we can control our reaction to it. As already mentioned above, I think being frank about offence to whomever offends us is an efficient route to resolution maybe? I wish you well, J.
Clarity to not post? That's crazy talk! You bring up good stuff for discussion.
"No matter how true" is a term I take issue with. If what a guy says about another guy's wife is 100% true, the intent of the delivery becomes a factor. Even then I don't find much reason to fight physically.
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OP
granfire
Sr. Grandmaster
- Thread Starter
- #18
Well, 'no matter how true'
You know those cases (ok, you have to know the person you insult to add truth to the insult) when the partner has a flaw.
Sorry still not more clear in my thoughts, started coffee late this morning...
It's said that love makes blind. So while it seems prudent to point out a flaw, it might just meet (or create) resistance.
In any case it is seldom productive (plus if the man is easily swayed by such comments, would a woman want him for a partner?)
I keep thinking about 'City Slickers' Daniel Stern's character being married to this mean woman, and still his friends do not state the obvious to him. Not that they needed to anyhow.
ballen0351
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Depends if it is true then its not really an insult. My old partne was engaged to a crazy, gold digger, unfaithful, Insert other nast words here. I told him what I thought he said it was insulting her and we didnt talk again he asked for a transfer and ended up leaving the department. They got married 6 months after I told him. 8 months after that he called me and said I was so right and he should have listened to me after he caught her with another guy in their house. He was on midnights and ran home at about 2 am to change his uniform after falling in a mud puddle and caught them. So I would say it would depend on what was said, how it was said, and if it was true.
