AngryHobbit
Senior Master
Thinking about motivation to train... both for children and wives, girlfriends, sisters, female friends, and family members... I do realize there is no magic wand to just want everyone to study martial arts. But there are ways to get people to think how it might benefit them and get motivated.
I told this story to @gpseymour just yesterday. When I was learning to play piano, motivating myself to practice 2-3 hours a day was... rough. I liked playing, I liked singing, but I was still a kid - it felt like a full-time job. So, my favorite grandpa and I were watching this old Russian detective movie we both loved. At one point, one of the detectives gets captured by a gang. They don't know he's a detective - they think he might be an informant from another gang. So, he just has to improvise and play a role until he figures out a way to get out of there or is rescued. Among other things, when the gang leader asked him what he did for a living, he mentions playing piano at restaurants. So, the gang leader points him toward a piano and tells him to play. And the guy does - and very well. And my grandfather pointed at him and said, "See? This might save your life someday." That was it. Silly, I know - I was six or seven at the time. But it worked. All the pretty ladies in pretty gowns, playing and singing in glamorous ballrooms did not motivate me to practice piano as that one detective, trying to survive.
Another, darker form of motivation came along when @gpseymour and I were discussing whether I should train. I was a pathological pacifist at the time. I managed to feel guilty even about fighting off the two assailants who'd attacked me at various points when I was a child. I tried to reason that, surely, America was not like Ukraine, it was a civilized country where police actually showed up. Right? And then he told me about all the court cases, in which the crime victim called the police - sometimes, more than once - and still ended up badly hurt, raped, or dead. I cried for two hours - it was a major shift in my psyche. And then I got it together and started training.
So... when trying to motivate someone, either show them Wonderwoman and Princess Merida from Brave or let them read some crime stats and detailed reports and court records. Or both.
I told this story to @gpseymour just yesterday. When I was learning to play piano, motivating myself to practice 2-3 hours a day was... rough. I liked playing, I liked singing, but I was still a kid - it felt like a full-time job. So, my favorite grandpa and I were watching this old Russian detective movie we both loved. At one point, one of the detectives gets captured by a gang. They don't know he's a detective - they think he might be an informant from another gang. So, he just has to improvise and play a role until he figures out a way to get out of there or is rescued. Among other things, when the gang leader asked him what he did for a living, he mentions playing piano at restaurants. So, the gang leader points him toward a piano and tells him to play. And the guy does - and very well. And my grandfather pointed at him and said, "See? This might save your life someday." That was it. Silly, I know - I was six or seven at the time. But it worked. All the pretty ladies in pretty gowns, playing and singing in glamorous ballrooms did not motivate me to practice piano as that one detective, trying to survive.
Another, darker form of motivation came along when @gpseymour and I were discussing whether I should train. I was a pathological pacifist at the time. I managed to feel guilty even about fighting off the two assailants who'd attacked me at various points when I was a child. I tried to reason that, surely, America was not like Ukraine, it was a civilized country where police actually showed up. Right? And then he told me about all the court cases, in which the crime victim called the police - sometimes, more than once - and still ended up badly hurt, raped, or dead. I cried for two hours - it was a major shift in my psyche. And then I got it together and started training.
So... when trying to motivate someone, either show them Wonderwoman and Princess Merida from Brave or let them read some crime stats and detailed reports and court records. Or both.