Whitty One Liners



haha these are great!

I read all 20 pages of these, some of them were repeated quite a few times, My personal favorites:



Organized people are just too lazy to look for things

This would be really funny if it weren't happening to me

Stupidity got us into this mess...why can't it get us out?

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm

Sometimes you open your mouth and stupid just falls right out...

The difference between light and hard is you can sleep with a light on

If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried!!

If at first you DO succeed, try not to look astonished!

It always feels better when it stops hurting.

A truly wise person never plays leapfrog with a Unicorn.

You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

The 2 most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.

Never Underestimate the Power of Stupid People in Large Groups

You can't have manslaughter without laughter

When you go into court you're putting yourself in the hands of 12 people
who weren't smart enough get out of jury duty.

If God dropped acid...would he see people...?

I had to drive officer I was to drunk to walk

The difference between a porcupine and a BMW is the porcupine has the pricks on the outside

 
Man with penis in peanut-butter jar is ********** nuts.

Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.

Couple on 7 day honeymoon make hole weak.

Man who stands on toilet, is high on pot.

Life isn't like a box of chocolates ...... It's more like a jar of
Jalapeños. What you do today might burn your *** tomorrow.
 
Drunken Logic:

The face is familiar but I can't quite remember my name.

If you drink don't park, accidents cause people.

Beer - Helping ugly people have sex since 1881

I said "no" to drugs, but they didn't listen.

I swear to drunk I'm not God!"

 
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It's not mean or illeagal in any ay if it's funny.

Their is no better thrill than being shot at without result. Winston Churchhill trying to recrout.
 
The best way to a man's heart is to saw his breast plate open.

I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem

If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me

Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.


***NEWSFLASH***
Tell ALL your female friends that i can get 100 tampons for £1
... No Strings attached
...but for a limited period ONLY!
...A bloody good deal!


I get enough exercise just pushing my luck!
 
KenpoTess said:
Mod Note

Please remember this board is Rated PG- All ages view the material so keep your postings clean.

We have the Premium Forum for Supporting Members which is less restrictive in material allowed.

Thank you,

~Tess
-MT S. Mod
Click to expand...
Oops, sorry. Sleep deprivation = poor judgement. :asian:
 
Chronuss, you cant give away the dollar I gave YOU not to reproduce.
 
Technopunk said:
Chronuss, you cant give away the dollar I gave YOU not to reproduce.
Click to expand...

:rofl:
hehehe
 
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