maxkawasaki

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I wanted to create a forum to hopefully allow people to share their thoughts on their mantra/beliefs and how you find yourself actually sticking to it in everyday life/impacts on your mental health.

I started to read the subtle art of not giving a f***, interesting book. But one thing that resonated with me the most was where the author had highlighted that if you choose what you give a f*** about (lets just say care), you will live a much better life than those who choose to focus all of their energy worrying about everything in their life, whether they can control it or not.

My life motto for so many years was 'it is what it is' every time something bad happened, and to be honest, it was my coping mechanism for a good portion of my life, lots of bad things would occur, plenty of failures but this approach in itself failed me. I ended up finding myself building this mound of issues in my head that would leave me feeling overwhelmed and stressed to the point where I would have a mental breakdown.

When I had read this book, for the first time, I just took a pause and really gave it some thought. I needed to stop worrying about so many things that I realistically could not control in my life. So I started to practice this, I started to choose where I would focus my energy on things that I had an influence on and I would acknowledge the bad things that were happening in my life but also acknowledged that there was nothing I could do to change this in the mean time.

For example, I was putting myself down a lot for gaining some weight over Christmas but I was so burnt out from focusing my energy on all these issues in my life that it felt overwhelming to even focus on how I could actually make a difference to improve my overall health and fitness. When I was receiving bad news about trying to sell my house, I had to acknowledge that this was going to be a long process, and that I should not focus my energy on worrying everyday about what the outcome COULD be, because realistically, it was out of my control and in a months or so time I would find out, so I would deal with it then. By choosing what I care about more, I actually started to find myself feeling much more relaxed at work and at home, and more energetic where I finally found myself looking at martial art gyms again and eventually signed up. Something I didn't think I've ever have the motivation to do.

Another insight I came across was 'are you living, or are you alive?'. This one also had an impact on me where I noticed for years, I just go to work, come home, go to gym, cook dinner, sleep, do it all again. Saving money for what is expected of an adult my age to be buying houses, thinking of super (mind you im only 25) and so on.

It turned out, I was miserable. I wasn't doing any of the things i really wanted to do, whether it was due to money concerns or just general fear. I had been wanting to travel to Egypt for well over a decade, and I had been wanting to learn BJJ for years too. But I was 25 and had nothing to show for it aside from a patch of dirt that was draining my bank account. So one day, I decided that was it, I will continue to save, but not at the cost of dying with dreams. I booked a trip to Egypt a week later, and a few months after that, I did a free trial at an MMA gym and took my first ever BJJ class (to which I am now hooked). There has been so many additional memories I have made in the past year whether costly or just taking the leap, and I am so much better for it.

So the question is, have you ever had to switch up your mindset? And how has did it impact you/your life?
 

Holmejr

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My mantra lately is
People are complicated
Covers all kinds of sins from nasty attitudes to mass killings.

My other mantra is
Happiness is a social obligation
I think we have a responsibility NOT to make others miserable.
 

Gyakuto

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By mantra you an aphorism that encapsulates an over arching attitude to ones outlook?

If so, with regards interpersonal relationships, only one is required. Treat others in the way you would like to be treated yourself.

In general, Maintain a high level of curiosity.
 

Jared Traveler

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I wanted to create a forum to hopefully allow people to share their thoughts on their mantra/beliefs and how you find yourself actually sticking to it in everyday life/impacts on your mental health.

I started to read the subtle art of not giving a f***, interesting book. But one thing that resonated with me the most was where the author had highlighted that if you choose what you give a f*** about (lets just say care), you will live a much better life than those who choose to focus all of their energy worrying about everything in their life, whether they can control it or not.

My life motto for so many years was 'it is what it is' every time something bad happened, and to be honest, it was my coping mechanism for a good portion of my life, lots of bad things would occur, plenty of failures but this approach in itself failed me. I ended up finding myself building this mound of issues in my head that would leave me feeling overwhelmed and stressed to the point where I would have a mental breakdown.

When I had read this book, for the first time, I just took a pause and really gave it some thought. I needed to stop worrying about so many things that I realistically could not control in my life. So I started to practice this, I started to choose where I would focus my energy on things that I had an influence on and I would acknowledge the bad things that were happening in my life but also acknowledged that there was nothing I could do to change this in the mean time.

For example, I was putting myself down a lot for gaining some weight over Christmas but I was so burnt out from focusing my energy on all these issues in my life that it felt overwhelming to even focus on how I could actually make a difference to improve my overall health and fitness. When I was receiving bad news about trying to sell my house, I had to acknowledge that this was going to be a long process, and that I should not focus my energy on worrying everyday about what the outcome COULD be, because realistically, it was out of my control and in a months or so time I would find out, so I would deal with it then. By choosing what I care about more, I actually started to find myself feeling much more relaxed at work and at home, and more energetic where I finally found myself looking at martial art gyms again and eventually signed up. Something I didn't think I've ever have the motivation to do.

Another insight I came across was 'are you living, or are you alive?'. This one also had an impact on me where I noticed for years, I just go to work, come home, go to gym, cook dinner, sleep, do it all again. Saving money for what is expected of an adult my age to be buying houses, thinking of super (mind you im only 25) and so on.

It turned out, I was miserable. I wasn't doing any of the things i really wanted to do, whether it was due to money concerns or just general fear. I had been wanting to travel to Egypt for well over a decade, and I had been wanting to learn BJJ for years too. But I was 25 and had nothing to show for it aside from a patch of dirt that was draining my bank account. So one day, I decided that was it, I will continue to save, but not at the cost of dying with dreams. I booked a trip to Egypt a week later, and a few months after that, I did a free trial at an MMA gym and took my first ever BJJ class (to which I am now hooked). There has been so many additional memories I have made in the past year whether costly or just taking the leap, and I am so much better for it.

So the question is, have you ever had to switch up your mindset? And how has did it impact you/your life?
Life is not my highest priority, but living it is.

With that said, I have given up everything I ever worked for, sold everything and moved to the other side of the world. A new life and a new mission, it's taken more risk than most would ever take, but the reward has been amazing.
 

Argus

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That book has been on my radar for a while now.

While I haven't read it, the message appeals to me and is something that I've chosen to live by for the last decade or so. I think the way I was introduced to this concept was via a quote from someone famous -- I forget who -- but it basically just goes: "There are two things you shouldn't worry about: those things you can control, and those things you can't."

That, and learning to accept myself for who I am rather than trying to fit people/society's expectations has drastically changed my life for the better. Own and embrace your nature and all of its shortcomings. Terribly socially awkward and introverted? Own it. Be the cool, quiet, thoughtful guy and don't apologize for it or try to force yourself to be someone you're not.

I'm about as ill adapted to life as 'normal' people live it as you can be, but these lessons have really allowed me to adjust and carve out a place for myself where I'm happy and fulfilled.

The other two things that have made a huge positive impact on my life are learning to practice delayed gratification, and prioritizing where I spend my time and money.

Have you ever heard the concept of "paying yourself first?" It's a core tenant of building financial freedom -- basically, setting aside a certain percentage of your paycheck every month, before anything else, to save and invest, and start that compound interest snowball rolling. People have the habit of just consuming everything today, for the benefit of only today, rather than investing some amount of time or money with intention, into building up towards their goals or financial freedom in the future. It's a lesson well applied to finance, but can be applied to anything really, as there's all kind of non monetary investments to be made as well. But the key is this: have clear long and medium term goals, and prioritize them to some extent over near-term goals such that you're making incremental progress every day, month, and year. Then, one day, you'll wake up with those goals realized. After all, the best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago. The next best time is today.

You mention saving a lot of money and buying a house or something, and that this kept you from pursuing your goals. You might think my "invest for the long term / practice delayed gratification" falls into the same category. But, it doesn't. It's all about priorities. One thing that you start doing, if you're serious about financial freedom, for example, is examining your values and goals. What kind of life do you want to have? What's important to you? And most importantly, what isn't? Have you ever looked around your house, at all of the junk that you own and that is making your life miserable, only to think about how all of that junk represented money, which represented time and hard work that you slaved away to earn, and wondered what the heck you're doing with your life? The point is to cut out drastically all of those things that aren't really important and start spending money and living life intentionally, as opposed to haphazardly. Spend on the things that will truly improve your life, both in the long-term, and the near-term, and cut out the rest. Generally, the more drastic the action, the better. Too many people become slaves to lifestyle creep and societal expectations; just letting life "happen" to them, and getting trapped in a lifestyle of commitments that aren't of their choosing. They're on the hamsterwheel going nowhere. Don't be like that. And if you have fallen into that trap, the sooner you get off that hamster wheel and get comfortable with being uncomfortable, the better.

Do everything with intention. So many people let everything in life be decided for them -- just happening to them, from where and how they spend their money to who they associate and form relationships with, and what good or bad ideas they uncritically and often unconsciously adopt. That is the unexamined life, and I don't know if it's worth living or not, but I think it's much more fulfilling to live the examined and intentional life instead.

I don't know how you sum all of that up into a single mantra, and I think anything you come up with would be an oversimplification, but that's what I'll go with: "embrace your nature; examine life; live intentionally."
 

Zombocalypse

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A quote from a character in the video game, Final Fantasy XIV...

"By what we decide to do everyday, we will be good men, or not."

-Jenlyns

You are defined by your deeds. Nothing else.
 
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