Here are some articles I have written on what sport martial arts can teach you:
Learning about defeat
Not long ago, I was at a tournament with some students. One of our older students, who was 15, had been training tirelessly for this event. All his free time was spent at the school running his form over and over. Throughout the season, he had been finishing in fourth or fifth place. His goal was to finish in the top three. When it was his turn to compete, he went out there and gave it his all. It was probably the best I have ever seen him compete. When he stepped off the mat, he was pleased with his performance. However, when the judges read off his scores, it wasn’t enough to land him in the top three as he had hoped.
I instantly saw the disappointment on his face and began to walk over to him with the goal to console him on his loss. As I began to walk over, I was stopped by our head instructor. He wanted me to leave him be. Baffled at this I asked why. He explained that the student needs to let it sink in. It was best for him to console himself first. My instructor went on to explain that the student needs to understand that we do not always win even if we try our hardest. However, a trademark of someone who will become a champion is determined by what they do on their own after they have been defeated. By consoling him, he will only feel sorry for himself longer than he should or give excuses on why he did not win. He advised me to let the student make his way to us and when he informs us of his result, simply ask him what he needs to do in order to do better next time. This is a way to take his mind off of his defeat and help him set a new goal to help him win next time. I did as my instructor asked and allowed the student to just be. Eventually he came around and told us the result and, as I was advised, I asked him what he needs to do for next time. He came up with several items right away that he needed to fix. When I saw him the next day at class he was right back at drilling and fixing his mistakes.
It is natural to comfort those close to us, especially when they did not succeed in a goal that they were working very hard for. As a coach, you want your players to keep a healthy attitude after losing a match and go back to training harder for the next event. As a teacher, you want your students to study a bit harder if they fail a test. As a parent, you want your children to just try again if they do not succeed the first time. Some would call this tough love, though it is tougher on the coach, teacher or parent than the person they are trying to help. When all is said and done, sometimes it is best to just let them be and allow them to build their character by coping with the defeat on their own.
Compete to achieve
June 20th and 21st of 2008 marks the date for the 43rd Annual AKA Grand Nationals tournament, one of the oldest tournaments still running in the United States today. Adults and kids from all over North America and Europe will travel to Louisville, Kentucky, the site of the event, to participate in this annual martial arts competition and with it just around the corner I can’t help but recall debates about competition in the martial arts. Now there is always an ongoing debate somewhere on the internet about the pros and cons of having such events. More than not, the biggest complaint I hear over and over from the con side of the debate is that these types of events actually degrade martial arts or causes the martial arts to become watered down. I recently had the privilege to sit down with six young athletes who participate in sport martial art tournaments, just to see what drives them to do compete. (See upcoming September issue of Taekwondo Times for the article)
The more I spoke with them about competition, the more it reinforced my belief in how competition is very healthy and a much underrated part of the martial arts. That is not to say that if your school doesn’t do competitions, then your school is no good, far from it. What I am saying is that there are many good things that can come out of competition in the martial arts. What better way to practice the building blocks success such as perseverance, self confidence, self discipline and respect than to be put in a situation where you have to utilize those building blocks to help achieve victory?
And remember, victory is not determined on if you win or lose, it is determined on how you yourself have progressed as a person. When you see that you are able to better yourself in just one area in life, utilizing these building blocks, you begin to apply them in other areas of your life like your job or school or personal relationships. If you are like me, you are one of the many, many people who hate to do public speaking. To help overcome the nervousness and fear associated with it, I simply resort to looking at it like a competition. I practice what I need to present prior to the event so that it becomes second nature to me. If it is something that will be cause for discussion I think of all the points and counter points that will be brought up. Then, when the time comes, I just step into the ring and do my best. After all, if I can jump around and yell in front of strangers wearing those crazy pajamas we call uniforms, then stepping up in front of my peers in a business suit really isn’t that hard.
So if you have the opportunity, join in on a local event in your area, if nothing else just for the fun of it. Regardless if you win or lose, competition can always teach you something about yourself as a person, if you are willing to learn. Sometimes, it is not always what you would like to learn, but, it will always be something that will allow you to grow. "
