Unintended Secret Weapons: My Toenails

Bill Mattocks

Sr. Grandmaster
MTS Alumni
I keep my toenails short, because we go barefoot in the dojo. Twice now, I have had my sparring partner step on my foot to immobilize it and jump back in pain. Both times, they have said words to the effect of "Hey, trim your toenails, man!"

Very embarrassing. But I do trim them - very short. The problem is that my big toenails point up at a 45 degree angle. They've done it all my life. No idea why. Step on my big toes and they'll cut you.

Oh well. Secret weapons, I guess.

Anyone else have any unintended secret weapons?
 
What? They're clean! I can't help it they point up. At least I didn't post a photo. Should I?

LOL! You've got some funky toes! One thing you could do is get an emery board and file off the edges. I've had students with toe issues in the past and that seemed to at least prevent cuts.
 
LOL! You've got some funky toes! One thing you could do is get an emery board and file off the edges. I've had students with toe issues in the past and that seemed to at least prevent cuts.

I can barely reach the danged things to cut them as it is. Still, you're probably right. Sigh. I'm going to feel like a...you know. Silly fellow.
 
Anyone else have any unintended secret weapons?

Not exactly, but your story brought back a few funny memories.

I used to train with a guy who had thick discoloured toenails, which would gross me out when we'd stretch class by hefting his foot on my shoulder and slowly raising it up from kiba dache. Sometime later I was in my doctor's examining room, where I spotted a poster about toenail fungus on the door.

One day I was grappling with another fellow, who had me in the mount. One of his chest hairs fell right into my mouth -- right in the back of my throat. Instant tapout.
 
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