The Top 13 Signs You've Joined the Wrong Martial Arts School



13> Your dojo's symbol is a bullseye target.

12> First demonstration consists of falling to the floor, curling
into the fetal position, and whimpering pitifully.

11> Frequent pauses while instructor tearfully stops to right his
spilled pocket protector.

10> The "gis" are used hospital gowns, and the "throwing stars"
are just slices of old cheese.

9> The homework is always just to watch a Jackie Chan movie.

8> The techniques are only effective if your attacker is one of
the Three Stooges.

7> Instructor's low fees enhanced by take from one-on-one "pop
quizzes" in dark alleys.

6> Benihana has a restraining order against your instructor.

5> Local muggers gather in the parking lot waiting for class to

4> Current students bark out on cue the phrase "Insurance does
not exist in this dojo!"

3> You take yourself to the mat 4 out of 5 times simply trying
to tie your belt on.

2> Sensei's "ancient Chinese secret" required notifying the
neighbors when he moved in.

and the Number 1 Sign You've
Joined the Wrong Martial Arts School...

1> Did Confucius ever really say he was "going to open up a
can of whoop-***" on someone?

[ This list copyright 1998 by Chris White ]
[ The Top 5 List [email protected] ]
[ To forward or repost, please include this section. ]
[ You like to receive credit for your work, and so do we. ]


Gentle Fist

Master Black Belt
May 2, 2004
Reaction score
That would be pretty bad if just one of those was present. Thanks for the post.

Latest Discussions