Star-Wars - A new look at an old clasic

Bob Hubbard

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Aug 4, 2001
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Land of the Free
With the release of the new movies, we can see the original movies in a whole new light. Here for your bemusement, I present a look at the characters, when taking into account the new trilogy:

Darth Vader - Was this annoying whiney little git, who grows up, betrays his comrades in arms for a one night stand, betrays his master and joins the enemy. Eventually, he wipes out his old comrades, and kills his old master, only to find out he has a son. He then betrays his new master for his son, who, is an annoying whiney git.

Luke - The whiney, clueless offspring of his Dadas 1 night stand with royalty. Hidden away on the backwards planet that spawned his dad, Luke finds adventure with his dads old master after seeing pics of his sister, and getting all excited. Eventually, Luke finds out his dads the ultimate bad guy, and he has the hots for his own sister, he does what any self respecting man would do, he walks un armed into the enemys arms. His dad, with a fatal attack of pity after seeing himself in this whiney brat, does what any self respecting father would do. He offs his master, just so he can die of shame in his sons lap. Luke does what any redneck would do, he has a BBQ thus proving he's a true farmboy.

Ran outta ideas here. Feel free to add your own. :)
Now that was well thought of. What do u think of the new film?
its too bad they cant bring back darth maul. he was a martial artist and good for the arts.
The TRUE ending to "the Empire Strikes Back":
A furious lightsaber duel is underway. DARTH VADER is backing LUKE SKYWALKER towards the end of the gantry. A quick move by Vader, chops off Luke's hand! It goes spinning off into the ventilation shaft. Luke backs away. He looks around, but realizes there's nowhere to go but straight down.

Darth Vader: Obi Wan never told you what happened to your father.

Luke: He told me enough! He told me you killed him!

Darth Vader: No... I am your father!

Luke: No, it's not true! It's impossible.

Darth Vader: Search your feelings... you know it to be true...

Luke: NO!

Darth Vader: Yes, it is true.. and you know what else? You know that brass droid of yours?

Luke: Threepio?

Darth Vader: Yes... Threepio... I built him... when I was 7 years old...

Luke: No...

Darth Vader: Seven years old? And what have you done? Look at yourself, no hand, no job, and couldn't even levitate your own ship out of the swamp...

Luke: I destroyed your precious Death Star!

Darth Vader: When you were 20! When I was 10, I single-handedly destroyed a Trade Federation Droid Control ship!

Luke: Well, it's not my fault...

Darth Vader: Oh, here we go... "Poor me... my father never gave me what I wanted for my birthday... boo hoo, my daddy's the Dark Lord of the Sith... waahhh wahhh!"

Luke: Shut up...

Darth Vader: You're a slacker! By the time I was you're age, I had exterminated the Jedi knights!

Luke: I used to race my T-16 through Beggar's Canyon!

Darth Vader: Oh, for the love of the Emperor... 10 years old, winner of the Boonta Eve Open... Only human to ever fly a Pod Racer... right here baby!

Luke looks down the shaft. Takes a step towards it.

Darth Vader: I was wrong... You're not my kid... I don't know whose you are, but you sure ain't mine...

Luke takes a step off the platform, hesitates, then plunges down the shaft.

Darth Vader looks after him.

Darth Vader: Get a haircut!
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:


Too true...way too true!

They CAN bring back Maul.... Clones. :)
Episode 2 looks good from the trailers.... what do you think?

Looks like a lot more action this time... altho that battle at the end of Ep 1 will be hard to beat, i loved the duel between Darth Maul, Qui Gon and Obi One
From what I have heard, you get to see a lot more fighting in this one, and the Jedis really get out and lay down a whuppin.

I can't wait to see that.

I think that would be a truly impressive sight.....a small group of well-trained, extremely disciplined warriors taking on a larger force......and with lightsabers? Please. Gimme front row seats..:D

You can have the floor space next to my girlfriend...

last time we went and saw it, she was in the front row, bowing to the screen during closing credits...

I saw a mother carefully stear her kid around her. It was cute.

"Tommy, don't scare the fan girl." :D
But Mom, she has red hair and green skin and
she is wearing no clothes !:D

Son, we do not notice those things in polite

Yes Mom, :shrug:

Now a nice ending to the Return of the Jedi
Go with the original proposed name Revenge of the
Jedi. Allow Luke to come back a kick but, and
maybe even follow his dad into the dark side.
this would have allowed for his sister to
save him and for her to show her true strength
in the force. One of the post-books has similar
story, but it would have been good on the big

Just my crazy thoughts

I saw a stand up of Yoda holding a light saber the other day. I really hope we get to see him use it.

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