Is there a 12-step program for martial arts?
Off the top of my head, and with a little help from the NA website.
The Twelve Steps of Martial Artists Anonymous:
1. We admit we were powerless over training, and that it became unmanageable to a point where training, exercise, and an inordinate amount of Kung Fu flicks weren't enough.
2. Come to believe that there is always someone more powerful than you in tournament, or on the street, and that harsh realization can restore you to your sanity.
3. Understand that your MA fix can also come from Youtube, the movies, or breakdancing and can infect multiple aspects of your life.
4. Understand that Competition vs. SD is not a moral decision.
5. Admit to "God", your coach/sensei/etc and another human being the exact nature of your poor technique.
6. Leave it up to "God" and your coach/sensei/etc to correct your poor technique so you can stop worrying about your learning curve.
7. Humbly leave your ego at the door.
8. Make a list of all the people you tweaked in training, and apologize to each and everyone of them in person. Then roll/spar with them anyway.
9. Make direct amends to all damage done by rolling/sparring by supplying your gym with Purell, bandages, splints, granola bars, and party favors.
10. Take personal inventory of all gear bought in the past year, and compare that to your your take-home wages for that same year. Is your training gear worth more than your car?
11. Meditate and understand that throwing bombs while boxing is not always good, and will get you knocked out by someone better than you.
12. Having made measures to correct our addiction to the MAs, it's imperative that there are things in life like art, music, and the proliferation of the message of world peace that might supersede one's addiction to the MA's and there is a whole world out there, ready to be explored.