Silliest challenge or verbal threat you've heard.

[TKD USA]

My mistake double post

 

[mj-hi-yah]

When I got my first teaching job I was in a conversation in the faculty room discussing a problem with a student when a kind of cranky older teacher was listening in on the conversation and said to me, "What do you know? I have underwear older than you!!!" :rofl: I could only laugh...

 

[Flatlander]

When I got my first teaching job I was in a conversation in the faculty room discussing a problem with a student when a kind of cranky older teacher was listening in on the conversation and said to me, "What do you know? I have underwear older than you!!!" :rofl: I could only laugh...

Its a good thing you were able to laugh that off, otherwise you may have stooped to responding, "Yeah, and it's about due for a wash!", or "OOOOHHHH, THAT'S what that smell is!", or something of the like.

 

[Brother John]

When I was in boot camp, my drill instructor told me he was going to kick me in the back of my forehead.

:xtrmshock :rofl:
That'd be greusomely interesting to see.
Wonder how you do that...


Your Brother
John

 

[Brother John]

I don't recall which movie it was, or what the situation was in the scene...
but Chuck Norris was squared off with a guy and Chuck warned him:

"If you come at me again, I'm gonna give you so many rights...You'll be beggin for a left."

THAT has to be the silliest I've ever heard.

Your Brother
John

 

[Trent]

:xtrmshock :rofl:
That'd be greusomely interesting to see.
Wonder how you do that...

Kicks you so hard in the back of the head that the foot penetrates the skull and strike the rear portion of the forehead.

Ah, boot camp....

 

[Corporal Hicks]

Heres an old one, which a friend once replied with,​

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Aggresive teenager: "You starting you f**king t*at"​

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Friend's reply: "I dont start mate, I finish!"​

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[adouglasmhor]

From the Comedy series "Chewing The Fat" "I am going to hit your coupon*so hard your kids are going to be running to their maw, crying because a pizza just walked into the house"
*coupon = face

 

[foxmc]

I was playing in a pool hll one time when an obviously drunk couple started dishing out the insults on each other, and the female stated something along the lines of "Well maybe if you were playing a bigger organ..." and what floored me was the man's response. He didn't miss a beat and stated "Well I never knew I was going to be playing in a cathedral!"

Don't really know what that had to do with martial arts except the bar/pool hall scenario, but ok. LOL

 

[bignick]

Me and a buddy of mine were hanging out in the dorms during finals week...we each had one final left...and a bunch of people that were already done were obvioulsy drunk as can be...and they decided it would be a good idea to fill up a huge garbage can with water and lean it against someone's door ...so when they opened it...water dumped into their room...we saw this and kinda looked at each other...i asked him, "we gonna take care of this?" so we walked to the end of the hall...and my friend who is huge into weightlifting and strength training..talked to these people while i hauled the garbage can away...i came back and there were about three drunk people that could barely walk that wanted to kick our *** over it...my buddy tips the scales at about 6' and 250 of almost all muscle...i'm about 6'5'' and am a little over 300 pounds...(maybe not all muscle...but thats a different story)...and there they were...three guys maybe a 150 soaking wet...that could barely stand...wanting to kick our butts...we didn't even know what to say...so we just walked away...

right as the guy, that just had the garbage can on his door, came out of his room

 

[MisterMike]

I liked the line in Multiplicity with Michael Keaton:

Talking to his 2 clones: "I'll hit you so hard I'll kill him."

 

[40 GLOCK]

Student: You're old enough to be my father.

Teacher: Perhaps, whats your mothers name?

Almost fell out of my seat it was to much. :boing2:

 

[Hung Fa Moose]

"Sticks and stone my break my bones, but words will never hurt me."

"I guess I need to find some sticks and stones then!"

 

[Maltair]

I remember this guy took a parking spot I was waiting for. Didn't bother me, there was another one 4-5 down. Anyway, my girlfriend gets out and starts yelling at the dude, cusing him out and all that. I'm just about over there to settle her down and the guy is already out of his car just looking at her like she was a freak (Turned out she was). He just says "Shut up B$%^&" and starts walking away. She turns to me and screams "Did you hear what he called me?! Are you going to let him talk to me that way?!"
I was never one for physical confrontation, besides that, the guy was twice my size. I just giggled and said "You started it!" Her mouth flops open, the guy stops and turns to me, smiles and starts laughing. She didn't last long with me after that.

 

[Darksoul]

"What are you staring at?"

1. "Something Darwin never classified."
2. "The real question is how fast are you going to run?"

And my favorite answer - "My next victim."

A---)

 

[CMack11]

I have a couple of good ones I have to share. I'm very new to the MA world, so all of these stories are from back in my pre-kung fu days and all when I was ~19-22. Also keep in mind that I'm about 5'10" and 150 soaking wet, hate fighting, and am probably the LEAST intimidating guy you'd ever meet.

At my first job, there was one of these classic bully-types that just had to pick on people. He was a really big guy, too. I started hanging out w/ one of his friends, and he never liked new people, so he was always giving me a hard time. One day we were doing a little verbal sparring, and he says to me, "I'm the kind of guy that'll just kick your a**." I looked at him deadpan and replied with, "and I'm the kind of guy who will sit outside your house at 3 in the morning with a deer rifle waiting to get a clean shot." He just looked at me, smiled, nodded, and said, "good to know." He is now one of my best friends, and we still joke about that story.

The other one is another classic bully story. I'm at a bar in downtown Austin, and I accidentally bump into a guy, spilling his beer all over him. He's another really big guy and is a little drunk and gets VERY ticked. I apologize over and over, and buy him another beer, but he really wants to kick my ***. Finally I look him in the eye and said, "what kind of a ****y are you that you have to pick a fight with a guy half your size? Of course you can kick my a**! I think just about everbody in the bar knows that you can, so what the H*** are you trying to prove?" His buddies started laughing and giving him a really hard time about being such a sissy. It ended up where that guy bought ME a drink and apologized to me, telling me all about the bad day he had at work and how his GF was busting his chops.

 

[Silat Student]

I have been fortunate enough to avoid having too many scraps in my life, so I don't really have too many good stories to tell. I've heard "I'm gonna beat a mud hole in you and walk it dry" from some of my more Southern Relatives. My personal favorite was someone calling me a "stupid cracker". It was kind of perplexing to them when I didn't take offense but thanked them for calling me a cracker. As for the stupid part, well I had 30 absences in one semester and still had higher grades than them in highschool, go figure

 

[pakua]

I love Bill Cosby's one where he said when he was a kid, his Mom or Dad threatened to knock the black off of him!

 

[Kunoichi]

Tonight, on my way home from the town centre me and my friends walked past a drunk woman who's 4-inch heeled stilletto shoes must have been to much for her as she was walking bare foot carrying them in the pouring rain. As we walked past she started shouting at us "Who you looking at" then warns us "You's better not laugh at me or else... or else... else I'm gonna impale you on my heels, right!"

Another time (about a week ago) my friend got into an arguement with another girl where the girl called my friend a cow. She replied "How am I a cow? Prove it!" The girl had no idea what to say about this so stormed off in a huff! Women!

 

[bignick]

"Honestly, there's nothing a little, old man like you could do to an athlete like me."

Quoted from a football player speaking to my judo/jujutsu instructor during a self-defense class he teaches at my university

my instructor asked why he wasn't participating...of course, he found out firsthand...not always the best idea to challenge "little, old men"