Silliest challenge or verbal threat you've heard.

[theletch1]

That's not Kenpo! "Dennis Conatser"

"That's TOO kenpo!" My aikido instructor when I first made the switch.

 

[RCastillo]

Originally posted by theletch1
"That's TOO kenpo!" My aikido instructor when I first made the switch.

He must be Conatsers cousin!

 

[theletch1]

He must be Conatsers cousin

Very possible..lol. My sensei knows what kenpo looks like very well. He has two sons that have been doing kenpo almost as long as he has been training in aikido.

 

[jeffkyle]

The most common one I hear, usually from 1 of 2 complete strangers one of which wanting to fight......"What are you looking at?"

Not very direct as far as verbally hurting the other person, but it seems to get the point across and usually the fight is on.

 

[KanoLives]

After a friend of mine accidentaly bumped into this guys car at a gas station this guy screamed in a deep growling voice

"Do you have a problem?...... cuz I'll rip off your head..., s**t down your neck..., and screw it back on." :rofl:

Yea there was three of us there walking in to the store we were only like 14 or 15. We did get a good laugh though.

Oh and didn't Mike Tyson say "I'll eat your children." Now just picture that being said in his voice. :rofl:

 

[Zoran]

When I was a bouncer, I've had quite a few guys ask me to go outside. So I would say "after you", I would open the door for him and close it and walk back inside.

The most common ones I've heard are:

• "You don't know who I am", and don't want to.
• "Do you want your *** kicked?", ah no, didn't ask, but if I get the urge, you'll be the fist I call.
• "I know Karate." sorry never met him, does he come to this bar?
• "I'll be back with my friends later." if you had friends, you wouldn't be in a bar alone.
• "I have a gun in my car." hope you can run fast.
• "I'm a cop, mayor's aid, marine, or prince of fantasia." that's nice, I'm a bouncer.
• "Who do you think you are?", Zoran.

 

[Black Bear]

When I was a bouncer, I've had quite a few guys ask me to go outside. So I would say "after you", I would open the door for him and close it and walk back inside.

The most common ones I've heard are:

• "You don't know who I am", and don't want to.
• "Do you want your *** kicked?", ah no, didn't ask, but if I get the urge, you'll be the fist I call.
• "I know Karate." sorry never met him, does he come to this bar?
• "I'll be back with my friends later." if you had friends, you wouldn't be in a bar alone.
• "I have a gun in my car." hope you can run fast.
• "I'm a cop, mayor's aid, marine, or prince of fantasia." that's nice, I'm a bouncer.
• "Who do you think you are?", Zoran.

LMAO! :lol: Excellent! Or how about, "Really? I could kill you right now, and I woudn't need a gun to do it."

 

[Zoran]

That just reminded me. One guy told another one of the bouncers I worked with that; "I can kill you with one finger."

The other bouncer said, "So can I, why don't you pull it and find out."

 

[takadadojokeith]

This isn't exactly a threat or challenge, but it's pretty funny.

When I was in high school one of my buddies was getting into an argument that was on it's way to being a fist fight. Things were getting pretty tense. Then this other guy decides to start talking trash too and my friend says, "Tom, if I want any ***** out of you I'll squeeze your head!"

 

[Gary Crawford]

What was the silliest challenge or verbal threat you've heard?

In 1985, I had a job doing telephone technical support for a software company. One very irate customer from Los Angeles who crashed his data was on the phone with me one morning...

"I ought to get on a plane right now and come up there and kick your ***!" My smart *** reply: "Yeah, well you'd better hurry because I have to leave at 4:00 to teach a Karate class!"

A couple years ago, I was at work in my Dollar Store when I heard a small crash.I turned towards tha sound to see a 12 yr old or so had thrown a bag of marbles that scattered everywhere when it hit the tile floor,his dad turned to me and said "What the hell are you lookin at!!?"( I have always cosidered that statement attempted intimidation or the begining of a threat) I said "Your son destroying MY merchandise!" He told me he would pay for it. I said "fine as long as you do". I kept my eye on him when I heard him say to his wife(purposly so I could hear it) "that guy better sop looking at me or I'm gonna...." I walked up on him and told him "you have a choice, you can go over to the register and pay for what your son did and leave or you can take your chances with me,but let me tell you..win or loose,you will go to jail!" He paid(running his mouth) and left.

 

[Gary Crawford]

A couple years ago,I was at work in my Dollar store when I heard a small crash. I turned towards the sound to discover a fat 12 yr old or so boy had thrown a bag of marbles that scattered eveywhere when it hit the tile floor.His dad turned toward me and said "What the hell do you think your lookin at!!?"(I have always considered that attempted intimidation or the beginning of a threat) I said" Your kid destroying MY merchandise!" He told my in a not so nice tone that he would pay for it. I said "Fine,as long as you do". I kept my eye on him until he told his wife(loud enough that I couldn't help but to hear him) " That guy better stop lookin at me or I'm gonna...." I walked up to him and looked him straight in the eyes and said "You have a choice,you can either go over to the register and pay for the damage and leave or you can take your chances with ME,but let me tell ya,win or loose,you will go to jail!" He paid and left at the urging of his wife(continuously running his mouth). I never saw him again.His wife still spends plenty of money with me and has since apologized for him.The whole thing was only over a dollar,but jerks like that are priceless!

 

[Rich Parsons]

One evening while working a front door.

Set up:
ME:
Martial ArtistMA)
FriendF)


ME: Excuse me sir, you and your friend are going to have to go inside or go bact to your car. The owner does not like people just standing around out front.

MA: I am not doing anything wrong.
F: Do you know who you are talking too?

ME: O really, I do not know who I am talking too. Please Tell me.

F: My Friend here (MA) just one 1st place in the TKD Sparring State Championships. He is a 3rd Dan. (* Smiles and nods like I have to run away *)

ME: (To MA) Your friend should not run his mouth like that. I now know the highest form you know, that you do not know who to throw an elbow, yet, and that you point spar, and not street fight. You friend will get you into trouble someday. Why not just go home or go inside.

MA: You think you are tough?

ME: No, I do not think so. I asked you nicely, now, I am telling you to leave.

F: You cannot take my friend.

MA: I'll even let you go first.

(* Now I knew as soon as I threw the first punch both would jump in, and say they were defending themselves. Even knowing this, I still could not resist. *)

ME: (To MA) One shot, by me if you are not on the ground then you get your shot.
(To F) And if you get involved you . . .

(* At this time I dropped and did an upper cut to the groin of MA. He dropped to his knees. MA was between me and F. *)

ME: (To F) Take your friend and go home.

They left.


This is one of many I have heard, seen or ben involved in.

Some :idunno: People

 

[Josh]

LOL!! keepm them coming.

i like that one about the I could kill you with one finger, me too, pull mine.

 

[7starmantis]

One evening while working a front door....

I don't know man, I think you were lucky to not have charges pressed against you. I'm not saying you should have, but I have a friend who this almost exact thing happened to, he played your role and was not only drug through court for the charges pressed agaisnt him, but was also personally names in a sueing match which started between the couple of guys envolved and the place of business. He was soon let go as well.

I'm glad that didn't happen to you, but I think you were dang lucky if it didn't.

7sm

 

[Rich Parsons]

I don't know man, I think you were lucky to not have charges pressed against you. I'm not saying you should have, but I have a friend who this almost exact thing happened to, he played your role and was not only drug through court for the charges pressed agaisnt him, but was also personally names in a sueing match which started between the couple of guys envolved and the place of business. He was soon let go as well.

I'm glad that didn't happen to you, but I think you were dang lucky if it didn't.

7sm

Court Systems are a real issue.

You can loose everything you own and everything you might own in the future.

Spending the night in custody of the police is not fun either.

What you did not know, is that they had already started the self hitting of themselves. The hard breathing. The Roll forward onto the balls of their feet. They were working themselves up to a fight.

This was also after I had gone through different points in my life.

Depressed (* I did not care if I got hurt, and I usually did not *)

OK (* I did not hurt any one unless thestarted something. I got hurt. I got hurt bad, and a lot. *)

The Police Are not Responding (* The police would not respond or show up 30 minutes later. After all was done. I also got hurt. *)

The above two I spent a few nights in the hospital.

I Want to Live (* By recognizing the dangers of the situation, if I could feel the tension and it was not quite right yet, I took my chances and rooled the dice. I hurt others before they hurt me. BTW: This is wrong. I was glad I was almost done with school by this time. *)

Besides, when asked, I would put on my most innocent face, and say Occupation Student. Chemical Engineering and Computer Science at the University of Michigan. Then if they read me my rights, I would ask for a lawyer. Many times they would just hold me all night and then let me go. I would not call the police names. I would ask politely to use the bathroom or to get a drink of water. I acted like a nice little boy.

So, to answer your statement, I was lucky. I also had learned to read the situation. The punks were looking for a fight, hence standing out front looking to intimidate someone and swing, to prove their manliness. I do not care how good you are, someone on someday will be able to hit you. I do not like the violence. I like getting beat up even less. At the time the job was the best paying gig their was. I made more then the CO-OP Comp Sci students or the Lab Tech dids. It helped to pay the bills. Not proud, yet I will talk about it. So, I am not ashamed. For you see, I stopped more then I got into. I prevented people from being shot, stabbed, beat, whipped, and run over.

:asian:

 

[Tony]

Well I remember this guy in a bar who was part of a group of guys who were sort of friends of my friend, said to me "You looking for trouble"? I merely replied "no I'm not" and then he said " I was only joking" and we started chatting but I find this guy a bit unusual! To think that I would want to start fighting with this guy when I had my put my best clothes on! thinking about it now i could have replied " Do you think I would have take 2 hours to pick these clothes, shower, put aftershave one just so that I could come out to fight?"
Then I remember he was talking to my friend and all of a sudden he made the same statement to me ( this was another time in the same place). He then turned to my friend laughing. But he didn't see that I saw he was looking at him joking with my friend about me! If I had had any balls I think I would have challenged him but from a logical view it wouldn't have been a good idea in a large bar/club. The fact that I did not call his bluff by saying something like " yeah ok lets go outside and I'll show you trouble" must have made him think that he could get away with that in turn making him think I was pathetic and a coward but I think it would be totall reasonable for any person who was a Martial Artist who was challenged like this not to take the bait!
I guess this would come under my post "Confidence in Martial arts ability!

 

[loki09789]

Tony,

Perfect case of brains over brawn here.

"Are you looking for trouble?"

"Yeah, why else would I come here, but to meet my future wife"

Throws them off, re-establishes your intellectual and character dignity and is an attempt at diverting the topic instead of meeting it force on force (verbally). He may think your odd, or just funny enough/odd enough to avoid belittling, let alone beating.

Worked fairly well through school and in the service (I was 132 lbs, 5"4' of wiry rattiness then - easy pickings for 'runt hunters')

Paul M.

 

[theletch1]

One of my co-workers laid this one on me last night while I was waiting on my truck to get loaded..."Man, I love ya like a brother, but I'm gonna beat ya like a red headed step-child"

 

[Black Bear]

HAHA I used to say "I'll beat you like a red-headed stepchild!" Before sparring--not in bars.

 

[tkdguy1982]

I had a job at radio shack & a guy came in w/ a messed up computer right at closing and I told him he had to leave because the computers were closed down, lights were fixing to be off and we were gonna leave. He got all mad and said he was gonna kick my *** if I didn't help him. That is probably the dumbest one I have ever heard.