Shut up already!

Gwai Lo Dan

2nd Black Belt
Joined
Nov 3, 2010
Messages
860
Reaction score
115
I was at class yesterday and before class one of the older guys mentioned that the new guy was quite the talker. Sure enough, as we were standing in line doing a kicking drill, the new guy was talking to me. Even as my turn came up and I turned away to face the junior instructor holding the target, the new guy kept talking. Shut up already!
 

Tez3

Sr. Grandmaster
Supporting Member
Joined
Oct 13, 2006
Messages
27,356
Reaction score
4,646
Location
England
Perhaps he was very nervous, a lot of people talk when they are in a situation they are new to or uncomfortable in. I'd cut him some slack and explain that he doesn't have to talk, that he will be fine training with you all. Make him feel welcome and that you understand what it is to be a beginner.
 
OP
G

Gwai Lo Dan

2nd Black Belt
Joined
Nov 3, 2010
Messages
860
Reaction score
115
I should add that he has years of martial arts experience...he's just a talker.
 

Tez3

Sr. Grandmaster
Supporting Member
Joined
Oct 13, 2006
Messages
27,356
Reaction score
4,646
Location
England
That doesn't necessarily make him not nervous in a new place with new people.
 

Tez3

Sr. Grandmaster
Supporting Member
Joined
Oct 13, 2006
Messages
27,356
Reaction score
4,646
Location
England
Years of experience can mean many things. Sometimes it's just the same experience repeated for years.


It could all be completely different to everything he's known hence the talking to cover his nervousness and perhaps bewilderment.
 

Gnarlie

Master of Arts
Joined
Dec 13, 2011
Messages
1,913
Reaction score
442
Location
Germany
Maybe the rules regarding social talk should be posted clearly somewhere.

No harm in a polite word.
 

Transk53

The Dark Often Prevails
Supporting Member
Joined
Apr 19, 2013
Messages
4,220
Reaction score
835
Location
England 43 Anno Domini
I was at class yesterday and before class one of the older guys mentioned that the new guy was quite the talker. Sure enough, as we were standing in line doing a kicking drill, the new guy was talking to me. Even as my turn came up and I turned away to face the junior instructor holding the target, the new guy kept talking. Shut up already!

Have you actually had a polite word yourself with the new guy? Has anybody?
 
OP
G

Gwai Lo Dan

2nd Black Belt
Joined
Nov 3, 2010
Messages
860
Reaction score
115
I've talked with him, not about talking though. Maybe next time I'll just say "I'm up!"
 

donald1

Senior Master
Joined
Jan 20, 2013
Messages
3,462
Reaction score
707
I like talking... a lot actually. But I know when to shutup and train! :)

Personally im leaning more towards tezs idea, but theres still the chance he is talkative. Or possibly trying to get to know the other MA people?
 

Tez3

Sr. Grandmaster
Supporting Member
Joined
Oct 13, 2006
Messages
27,356
Reaction score
4,646
Location
England
Said as I get to the front of the line, "I'm up" means "OK, my turn to kick".

If you are at the front of the line is it necessary to say anything as it's obvious it's your turn?
 
OP
G

Gwai Lo Dan

2nd Black Belt
Joined
Nov 3, 2010
Messages
860
Reaction score
115
If you are at the front of the line is it necessary to say anything as it's obvious it's your turn?
Yes, when the other person keeps talking to me while I am about to start.
 

Tez3

Sr. Grandmaster
Supporting Member
Joined
Oct 13, 2006
Messages
27,356
Reaction score
4,646
Location
England
There are a lot of reasons why someone would talk a lot apart from as I've said nervousness, it could be because they are on the autistic spectrum and cannot understand when it's appropriate to talk and when not to, it could be covering up a lack of self esteem and confidence. It may also be because they learn better when they can articulate what they are doing. They may also be very lonely people whose only outlet for conversation is the martial arts class which is very sad because it would have the opposite effect they desired. It could be because they are scared, they may want to be liked and not know how to communicate that properly so chatter a lot.
I'm sure it's annoying but a kind word may sort the problem which I'm betting the chap doesn't know he's causing. If after that he's still chattering another kind word from the instructor may help.
 

Touch Of Death

Sr. Grandmaster
MTS Alumni
Joined
May 6, 2003
Messages
11,610
Reaction score
844
Location
Spokane Valley WA
I come from a culture of, "Shut the **** up and train", but I am in a school, now, where talking is OK, but I find myself shushing people up.
 

Transk53

The Dark Often Prevails
Supporting Member
Joined
Apr 19, 2013
Messages
4,220
Reaction score
835
Location
England 43 Anno Domini
I come from a culture of, "Shut the **** up and train", but I am in a school, now, where talking is OK, but I find myself shushing people up.

That is because you have no comprehension of a need to fit in. As one of those, I now know when to shut up. That does not negate the need to talk :) Nor does that release the emotional content of a new situation.
 

Transk53

The Dark Often Prevails
Supporting Member
Joined
Apr 19, 2013
Messages
4,220
Reaction score
835
Location
England 43 Anno Domini
Yes, when the other person keeps talking to me while I am about to start.

Then perhaps you should consider looking internally. Being a talker, I know where the line is. No, you are attributing blame on a exterior force, when you should be looking to empty you're mind. Just my humble opinion :)
 
Top