Should I test with ....

karatekid1975

Master Black Belt
Joined
Apr 1, 2002
Messages
1,417
Reaction score
2
Location
Rochester area, NY
..... a friend or wait?? Anyways, here's my story (and hers) .....

Since going back to my old TKD dojang, I am re-testing for my red belt. I did make fast friends with someone in the beginning of the summer. We have been best friends in MA ever since. We give each other support, work on stuff before/after class, we help each other out when we get in the "slump," ect. We kept telling each other that we will test for red together. To be moral support for each other. One reason she wanted me to test with her is because she never had her red and I did .... among other reasons.

I got the "ok" to test next saturday. She was out for two weeks due to an injury and she moved. So, she can't test. I saw her tonight, and she asked me if I was testing. I said yes. She said that she couldn't. I felt really bad for her.

Anyways, I was thinking of putting off my test till January (when she tests). She gave me the "wanna wait for me" guilt thing, but she said that she didn't mind if I tested now, and that I should. But I feel like I am betraying her (if I go through with this test and not wait)

What should I do?
 
D

Disco

Guest
Just one question. What would be lost and what would be gained, if you waited one month more to test?
 
S

sifu Adams

Guest
I would say go ahead and test. Once you get your rank you can better help her get her's. I have a student that in one rank behind me and we always test together. The martial arts is a single sport. It's something you have to do on your own. Friends can help and push you during training but come test time its you. If you are ready now go for it. Who knows by mid January you might have the injury or some family event that would prevent you from testing. Don't miss it. My students know if they pass me in rank that's on me not them.

Just food for thought.
 

Darksoul

Brown Belt
Joined
Jul 30, 2004
Messages
459
Reaction score
13
Location
Englewood, CO
-I agree, test now so that you may help her out in anyway for her testing, especially since you had red belt before. Besides, this is Rochester, and it will probably be freezing here before too long, test before you turn into a popsicle;-)


A---)
 

TigerWoman

Senior Master
Lifetime Supporting Member
Joined
Apr 16, 2004
Messages
4,262
Reaction score
39
I always tested with the same two guys up through the ranks. There wasn't any women around my rank, only one black belt woman and she had quit.

But one of the guys wanted to get ahead of me and tested early one month even though he wasn't ready. (he had to redo his forms at my test) The other guy wanted me to wait but he was having serious medical problems which became major surgery. So I decided to go anyway and test for black belt 2nd, by myself. Its easier to test with a bunch of people but it was not meant to be.

You don't know how YOU will be in a month, sick or injured or have job/family problems so test now when you are up for it. The other gal may never test. She will have to find her inner strength and not depend on you at testing. TW
 

Zepp

Master of Arts
Joined
Jan 16, 2003
Messages
1,561
Reaction score
22
Location
The woods of Marin County, California, USA
From what you've written Laurie, I think if I were in your position, I'd wait another month. Afterall, what's one more month to wait for a rank, really? (Unless you really are worried about turning into a Rochester-sicle. :D ) True, your friend still may not test next month, but then you can test anyways, and be guilt free.

Just my first thoughts.
 

OUMoose

Trying to find my place
Joined
Jan 14, 2004
Messages
1,566
Reaction score
24
Given the situation, I would probably push it a month to make sure I really have my requirements polished, and to help your friend. :)
 

shesulsa

Columbia Martial Arts Academy
MT Mentor
Lifetime Supporting Member
MTS Alumni
Joined
May 27, 2004
Messages
27,182
Reaction score
480
Location
Not BC, Not DC
Tough call. What about testing now and asking your instructor to delay your promotion until after her test should she test in 30 days? Ask first in private if that's an option. If he says no, it's your call. No matter what you want to do, discuss it with your instructor for feedback first.

Good luck.
 
T

Tae Kwon Doughboy

Guest
If I made an agreement with the person I would be inclined to honor it. If the person releases me from the agreement I would probably test unless I felt it would damage the relationship. A belt one month sooner is not worth losing a relationship. The relationships I have would not be affected.

If there is no agreement I would test. As others have said, stuff happens.

Good luck!
 

HammerFist

White Belt
Joined
Dec 1, 2004
Messages
17
Reaction score
1
Has your friendship with this person made your martial arts experience better? If so then wait.
 
R

rmcrobertson

Guest
I understand wanting to test, but this seems very simple. You made a promise: honor it. Why not simply tell your instructor, and wait a whole month?

Honestly, I don't see what the issue is. A month's "delay," to stick by a friend--a pretty cheap way to live up to a responsibility.

Is there something else going on?
 

Ceicei

Grandmaster
MT Mentor
Joined
Apr 23, 2003
Messages
6,775
Reaction score
85
Location
Utah
I'd have to agree with Shesulsa. Talk it over with your instructor how you feel, what you may like to do, and see what he thinks. Your instructor knows you and knows your friend since both of you are his students, so he will probably be able to determine whether now or later is advisable.

Having a month more to practice can be a good thing and you will have the holidays out of the way. However, if you are ready now and won't get "bored" waiting, and if your friend doesn't mind you testing now, then go ahead to test.

- Ceicei
 

chinto01

Black Belt
Joined
Sep 18, 2004
Messages
611
Reaction score
17
Your journey through the martial arts is not the same as your friends. I would go ahead and test on schedule. Afterall she may not be there with you on the journey forever.
 

loki09789

Senior Master
Joined
Jul 22, 2003
Messages
2,643
Reaction score
71
Location
Williamsville, NY
Zepp said:
From what you've written Laurie, I think if I were in your position, I'd wait another month. Afterall, what's one more month to wait for a rank, really? (Unless you really are worried about turning into a Rochester-sicle. :D ) True, your friend still may not test next month, but then you can test anyways, and be guilt free.

Just my first thoughts.
Gotta agree.

Also, TKD is big on character training so I think it would reflect well that you battled back by kicking the rust off of old skills AND are willing to postpone your testing date to be a supportive/loyal classmate and friend. Bodes well in many ways.
 

kenpo tiger

Senior Master
Joined
Jun 5, 2004
Messages
2,061
Reaction score
20
Talk to your instructor.

I also agree that a promise made should be a promise kept. It's one month.

There's always room to make your performance just a bit better -- for your own satisfaction, no one else's.
 

still learning

Senior Master
Joined
Nov 8, 2004
Messages
3,749
Reaction score
43
Hello, Maybe you should wait this time,since it is only one month away and your friend is putting the pressure on you and you feel a little gulity,just wait. Her lack of self-confidence should not hinder your progress in the future. Do not make any more commitments to her. Enjoy the training and martial arts is an individual thing. Do not let anyone hold you back. Only a few will move on to the higher ranks and your friend may not be there anymore. Only the brave goes forward.....Aloha
 
Top