Does anyone have information about self defence classes aimed at women who have been through a violent experience in the past? I'm looking for something local where I live, in Western Canada. Eg a course that is taught by a trainer with background and training in trauma recovery; or at least someone who stays calm and doesn't make a big deal of it if a student got upset or overreacted to practising a move or something.
If I just pick any course, I might pay a lot of money for it and then end up walking out in the first 5 minutes if it's too difficult for me to handle emotionally.
Hello Leanne,
No matter which martial art you end up exploring there are many things that you can do to get all you can from the training to help further your recovery. Many arts well give you the opportunity to experience firsthand various interesting methods of exploration and understanding even if they do not literally cover them during practice.
For example, some study of
Somatic practices ā (of or relating to the body, especially as distinct from the mind. Greek word that literally means āthe living body is its wholenessā),
neurobiology ā the biology of the nervous system and
phenomenology the study of subjective experience, any of which can completely change the perspective and results of your training, no matter the specific style.
Even the most āmundaneā physical practices can prove very cathartic and provide quiet time from negative self-talk and also a means of accessing and experiencing raw emotion safely. The very act of practicing and moving will give you deeper and fuller understanding well beyond academic knowledge of physiological responses. Many successful therapeutic methods can be added to your own training with just a shift of perspective, purpose, and intention. āKnowing is not enough; we must apply. Willing is not enough; we must do.ā-Goethe
That said, it would still be a really good idea to talk to your prospective instructor about your fears of hyper-arousal, intrusions, and break downs. An aware instructor will notice and your coming forward will speed up clarity in your training and help you define purpose moving forward.
Martial training can provide many benefits. One of the first can be feeling secure in awareness of oneās own sensations. This is huge and cannot be overstated. Another often unsaid benefit is that the training can help mature personality and generate positive emotional states and responses and control negative states and responses. This can be learned, practiced, and managed.
Depending on the instruction, you will learn how breathing can be a bridge between the various body systems (especially the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems) and as a tool to help deal with acute, chronic and repetitive stress, both of which can be important means to a more productive and satisfying life. For many in the art that I study (Systema), focusing on this type of work is major area of exploration.
Breaking down (either escaping an intrusion by shutting down attention and awareness or uncontrolled crying due to a trigger response, over-reacting, fleeing, all are opportunities to practice recognizing and dealing with āfight, flight, or freezeā responses. This is great for you and really, where better to practice than a martial arts school with trusted peers and instructors? This can also greatly benefit your fellow students and instructors as they learn to recognize, emphasize, and deal with the āfight, flight, or freezeā responses in others. A good program will understand this and will be well able to help you learn to control these type of responses. Over-reacting (as long as not with a fellow new student) should not be a problem for senior students to safely deal with. If the student has enough experience they will see it coming and deal with it mitigating the reaction. Your instructor should be able to team you up with the proper students. And again, what better place to learn to deal with this than a martial arts school? The perspective any student should cultivate is that no problem ever comes that does not have teaching in it, that cannot contribute to the students and the programs growth. That problems should be seen as an opportunity not a āfailureā.
Do not overly concern yourself with worry, Leanne. Every student walking through the door has their own baggage and concerns that they are dealing with. At a good school, students soon learn that they are there to help both themselves and their training partners learn. Students working and growing together help to reinforce the primacy of good healthy relationships.
Picking your school; Interview your perspective instructors, pay attention to your āgut feelingsā while talking to the instructor. Talk over your concerns ā they are valid. Be greedy for answers ā meaning if you are not sure what they mean or do not understand what exactly they are saying ā ask for clarification. If the instructor minds or is impatient, that also provides you with feedback. Watch how the students interact with each other and the instructors. The school should be near enough that you will actually go to it.
There is Systema school in your town and although I do not personally know the instructor I would encourage you to research the school as a possibility for the training that you are seeking.
Please think about continuing to read and posting to our forum. I do not need to be the one to tell you that you have hard won experiences, your courage and honesty can be an inspiration for many. We all have history, experiences, and needs. These make up our āstoriesā ā and all of our combined āstoriesā and the willingness to share, explore, and learn is what makes Martial Talk a worthy place to visit.
Regards
Brian King
