Secrets of the Martial Arts

[Cryozombie]

I have discovered the "Ultimate secret of the Martial Arts"

Every aspect of the martial ats boils down to these 2 techniques, if you learn and master them you will be invincible.

1) To avoid injury, dont be where your opponents attack is.
2) To Injure your opponent, make sure he is where your attack is.

Everything else is gravy.

 

[MA-Caver]

Heh, mebbe it's just me but I think that's been the general idea the whole time...

And how did you come by this Techno?

 

[tshadowchaser]

interesting thoughts. simple but hard to acomplish.
almost zen like

 

[Ceicei]

Originally posted by tshadowchaser
interesting thoughts. simple but hard to acomplish.
almost zen like

Maybe consider learning the moves like in Matrix....

- Ceicei

 

[OULobo]

oooooooooooooooommmmmmmmmmm. . . . . . . . . . . . . oooooooooooooooooommmmmmmmmmmmmm. . . . . . . . . . . . .

 

[Randy Strausbaugh]

Originally posted by Technopunk
1) To avoid injury, dont be where your opponents attack is.
2) To Injure your opponent, make sure he is where your attack is.

1. My opponent attacks, I sidestep, he misses, I trip and fall, and his friends stomp the snot out of me.
2. I attack, my opponent is where my attack is, but my attack is a punch to his skull, I break my hand (a la Mike Tyson and Mitch "Blood" Green) and I have to be taken to the ER.

Might need some more work.

 

[Cthulhu]

Heh. My previous instructor distilled it down to this: Move, or don't move.



Cthulhu

 

[the_kicking_fiend]

Kinda like the ying yang... the soft and the hard but both parts have a weakness that can be found. If you find your opponent's weakness and can make use of it you put yourself at a major advantage.

d

 

[RCastillo]

Originally posted by Technopunk
I have discovered the "Ultimate secret of the Martial Arts"

Every aspect of the martial ats boils down to these 2 techniques, if you learn and master them you will be invincible.

1) To avoid injury, dont be where your opponents attack is.
2) To Injure your opponent, make sure he is where your attack is.

Everything else is gravy.

And if you injure him/her, you get sued. We just can't win!!!

 

[Cryozombie]

Originally posted by Randy Strausbaugh
1. My opponent attacks, I sidestep, he misses, I trip and fall, and his friends stomp the snot out of me.
2. I attack, my opponent is where my attack is, but my attack is a punch to his skull, I break my hand (a la Mike Tyson and Mitch "Blood" Green) and I have to be taken to the ER.

Might need some more work.

His friends are also your enemy, if they stomp you you missed lesson 1, dont be where your opponents attack is.

Number 2 has been refined a little, it is "Make sure your opponent recives the intention of your attack"

 

[lhommedieu]

3rd "Secret" (one which I am still, unfortunately, still learning):

Time spent chatting on the internet is in inverse proportion to time spent training...

Best,

Steve Lamade

 

[OULobo]

Originally posted by lhommedieu
3rd "Secret" (one which I am still, unfortunately, still learning):

Time spent chatting on the internet is in inverse proportion to time spent training...

Best,

Steve Lamade

All work and and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
All work and and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
All work and and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
All work and and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
All work and and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
All work and and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
All work and and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
All work and and no play makes Jack a dull boy.:EG:

 

[lhommedieu]

Originally posted by OULobo
All work and and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

Now, where did I put that axe? - I mean training weapon.

194 posts and counting...

Best,

Steve Lamade

 

[hardheadjarhead]

Okay...okay...here are MY secrets. I'm not going to charge you for them, because to really understand them you have to take a private lesson with me and pay me an obscene amount of money. There are subtleties to this stuff that I can impart...much of it has to do with breath control and tension of the rectum.

My secrets are all based on intimidation of your opponent.

1. Block his first punch with your face. Smile. This will alarm him.

2. Pull a knife. Start doing fancy "redonda" movements and other circular patterns. Cut yourself badly. Sneer at him and say, "See? I DREW FIRST BLOOD." If you cut off a finger, laugh and pick it up. Toss it at him.

3. Start hitting yourself, as if psyching yourself up...not in a weak way like a Pro wrestler...I mean REALLY hit yourself like with number 1, this will bother him to know end. I got so upset when I saw this in "Fight Club" that I sued the director and producers for theft of intellectual property. I haven't heard back from them...or for that matter, from my attorney. I don't know why he won't answer my calls.

4. Do an "air roll" flip, right onto the concrete before the fight. Kiai loudly when you hit, and make sure you get the slap right. If there are broken bottles and other forms of debris on the ground, this will add to the effect.



Regards,

Steve Scott

 

[Ceicei]

Originally posted by hardheadjarhead
Okay...okay...here are MY secrets. I'm not going to charge you for them, because to really understand them you have to take a private lesson with me and pay me an obscene amount of money. There are subtleties to this stuff that I can impart...much of it has to do with breath control and tension of the rectum.

My secrets are all based on intimidation of your opponent.

Your secrets are hilarious!

:lool: :rofl: :rofl:

- Ceicei