Psycholoy of fighting

Martial D

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I agree with you that mind set is important... and many times we don't focus enough on that mind set. That said, I don't agree with some of your observations above.


Those are two very different mindsets. They are not the same. Ever watch the guy honking and yelling at the car in front of him to go? That guy may be yelling, screaming, taunting, arguing, .... but as soon as the guy in front gets out of his car and walks up to the window, things change in a hurry. From the safety of a verbal argument, everyone can be the hero... but when it changes to a physical confrontation, things change. Its not so easy any more. Ever hear the phrase "talk is cheap." Overcoming your fear of losing and argument and overcoming your fear of being physically hurt are very different. Notice in the above example, the guy getting out of his car, is not winning any verbal arguments here.


If you are talking sport... sure. If you are talking self defense... not so much. You don't have time to figure out and understand the other guy. Understanding yourself, yes that helps. Thats why most martial arts talk about understanding yourself first, then understanding the other guy. In a self defense type situation, you need to be reacting immediately... in many situations before you even know who is attacking you, let alone being able to understand the other guy.
I dunno about that. The overwhelming majority of times my alarm bells have been raised, it started with talking. People intent on doing you harm usually build to it. It's rare that someone will just pop out of the woodwork swinging. If you stay confident and calm these things often end before they begin. Predators tend to choose easy prey.. nervousness..fear .meekness..or even premature agressive defensive reactions can cue these situations to violence.
 

Ivan

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With friendly verbal discussions or disagreements, I find that being polite and coming to a common agreement between the two sides is the best option.

With more heated arguments and people who look like they could get violent, I like to use the Socratic Method. In other words, I stay calm, slither my way into their deepest insecurities, and make them see the error of their own ways, hopefully getting them to calm down and reassess their violent disposition.

I don't know what psychology is like in a real fight; I'm so good at the above methods that I've never had to be in one.
I just ask a lot of questions. I enjoy debating, but in this day and age, I avoid it because of doxxers or people who my age who are too politically correct and will report me to my employers/universities if I disagree with them (very possible). Thus, I just ask questions on their views that will lead to illogical conclusions and hope that they will see my view of things. Although nowadays, logic seems to be devoid.

A lot of people in my philosophy are diehard liberal socialists or leftists, and attempting to engage in discussion is draining and always leads to insults or playing the victim.
 

Ivan

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I see a lot of people get really worked up about things like who had the right of way on the road. Sure, fights do happen over moral issues, but that's not what most of the ones I've seen (including around bars) were about.
Bar fights are some of the worst I've witnessed since I worked as a bartender. They escalate extremely quickly, more so than a fight outside in my opinion. Violence rears its head much easier when alcohol and insecure men are involved.
 

isshinryuronin

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I see two main general types of potentially violent encounters.

First is the situation of disagreement. This could be on who cut who off on the road, who bumped who in a bar, an intense debate of who is right about some issue, an over-possessive guy who thinks you were eyeing his girl, etc. Here is where psychology may work to diffuse the situation, whether it be based on logic or emotional appeal, or even surrendering on the issue. Should an attack occur, it will often end once the aggressor's sense of honor or display of macho is satisfied, or you bloody him / put him down.

The second involves thugs. In most cases, the aggressor has already decided / planned to fight or steal, even before he has closed the distance to you. Trying to engage these sociopaths in logical or sentimental discourse is usually a waste of effort and can distract you from defending his initial attack. The only psychology helpful here is combat tactics. How to put him off guard and getting your head ready to receive the attack (or strike preemptively) is the best use of brain power.

I guess there is a third category - mentally impaired individuals from drugs or illness. Don't have any direct experience with these guys, but I would avoid them if alone. I believe they will not pose a danger if not threatened. Rushing them with a few guys in a coordinated take-down would be my guess for an optimum result if they are threatening someone.

Again, these are generalities. There are many variables and each situation is different. A clear calm mind is one's best ally in any case.
 

Gerry Seymour

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Bar fights are some of the worst I've witnessed since I worked as a bartender. They escalate extremely quickly, more so than a fight outside in my opinion. Violence rears its head much easier when alcohol and insecure men are involved.
Alcohol quickly affects the part of the brain responsible for emotional regulation (this is why some people get so emotional when they are drinking). Where a guy might get kinda miffed, but control the impulse to do anything about it, there's a greater chance he'll just let that impulse play out.
 

lklawson

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I'm honestly surprised that these haven't been posted yet:

 

Wing Woo Gar

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I see a lot of people get really worked up about things like who had the right of way on the road. Sure, fights do happen over moral issues, but that's not what most of the ones I've seen (including around bars) were about.
Right, I watched two adult women get down over a parking spot when there were many others available. they both had kids with them. Utterly ridiculous to see them dragging each other by the hair in the rainy mall parking lot while their kids are screaming for them to stop.
 

ThatOneCanadian

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I just ask a lot of questions. I enjoy debating, but in this day and age, I avoid it because of doxxers or people who my age who are too politically correct and will report me to my employers/universities if I disagree with them (very possible). Thus, I just ask questions on their views that will lead to illogical conclusions and hope that they will see my view of things. Although nowadays, logic seems to be devoid.

A lot of people in my philosophy are diehard liberal socialists or leftists, and attempting to engage in discussion is draining and always leads to insults or playing the victim.
Tell me about it! There are people in the world who don't even have a roof over their head nor a floor under their bare feet, and yet we rich, pampered Westerners have the audacity to be offended by mere words. We probably sound like broken records here but the west is indeed a minefield.
 
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