nerd seeks women help

[Deathtrap101]

Hey, yea im a lonely nerd who likes karate:karate: and spends too much time sitting infront of the computer. Well ive never bin really populer with the ladies and im pretty damn sure this isnt the place to get advice, but hey im gettin it from wherever i can and i thought i might get some interesting answers here. Now what are most ladies lookin for in a guy?


ANY answer is a good one.

 

[artful dodger]

Shoot me for a sexist sounding comment - be protective, the whole I will be your hero thing. Another idea, take a look at daytime soap operas like Days of our Lives and check out how the guys treat the women. None of them do this in real life but if they did - they'd be winners, I'm telling you.

 

[Deathtrap101]

lol, any advice not requiring me to watch soaps??lol

Should i mention that im 15 going into the 10th grade??and not 30 years old living in my parents basement.(Though i do live in my parents basement:sadsong: )

 

[J-kid]

Stay cool. Show off to girls. talk to them, the silent stair for 3 days thing works good., try it.

 

[tonbo]

Well, I am certainly no expert, but I have what I think is some pretty darn good advice:

BE YOURSELF. BE REAL. PAY ATTENTION, AND DON'T BE A JERK.

If you want a serious relationship with someone, you will have to work at it. Work at being real, not trying to impress them. However, do the little things: remember their birthday, get them flowers, do things with them that they like. Treat women with respect, and you will be amazed. That's what it's all about. Yeah, women want to be protected, sure. But they also like having the guy they can *talk* to, who doesn't try to beat the sh** out of everyone to prove how tough he is.

Since you are 15, you are going to be dealing with a lot of game-playing, by both sexes. People are still flaky, and emotions are a funny, funny thing at that age. TRUST me on that one. Don't be looking for a life partner at this phase--just look for someone you "click" with. Go after the type of girl that you like, and treat her right.......just don't play no games, 'cuz they ain't worth the time, ya know?

Good luck, from one nerd to another...

Peace--

 

[Rich Parsons]

Originally posted by Deathtrap101

Hey, yea im a lonely nerd who likes karate:karate: and spends too much time sitting infront of the computer. Well ive never bin really populer with the ladies and im pretty damn sure this isnt the place to get advice, but hey im gettin it from wherever i can and i thought i might get some interesting answers here. Now what are most ladies lookin for in a guy?


ANY answer is a good one.

Hey DeathTrap101,

When you figure it all out, let me know. I could use similar advice. I am 35 and looking again. BTW, nothing wrong with being the Nerd type, but you do have to go places where there are (Young) women to meet. Talk to the women, be yourself, is all the advice I can give. Just remember be true and honest, and things will go better.

Still trying to figure it all out myself.

Rich

 

[arnisador]

One word: Confidence. You've got to look and act like you think well of yourself.

See also this thread (ignore the diet/fitness part).

 

[Deathtrap101]

lol, i was actualy just kidding about hte nerd thing, i like to think im pretty 'cool'. lol.

 

[GouRonin]

You're 15. Relax. Breath.

Rich and Tonbo are right. Be yourself. Be respectful. Follow the golden rule. "Treat them like you yourself would like to be treated."

In high school I would only date women who were 1)Cheerleaders, 2) Swimmers on the swim team. In university I expanded my horizons to include 3) Sorority girls.

I wasn't interested in anything they had to say as long as they hung on my arm and looked good among other things.

My wife literally kicked my @ss and made realize how much of a jerkface I was. She was NONE of the 3 things.

People are much more interesting for who they are not what they do.

 

[artful dodger]

Originally posted by Deathtrap101

lol, any advice not requiring me to watch soaps??lol

Should i mention that im 15 going into the 10th grade??and not 30 years old living in my parents basement.(Though i do live in my parents basement:sadsong: )

You don't have to sit and watch soaps for hours, just take a look. A lot of research has been done when producing these sort of programmes to find out what women like, and they've hit the spot so to speak. So take a look. I don't mean be them and not yourself because that can't work, but check out how they treat women. In real life they would have women eating out of their hands. And get this, a guy just needs to hold the door open for me to go through before him, or see me to the car door before he gets in the car, and my opinion of him has increased tenfold, and if they do the opposite my opinion majorly decreases. And another thing TO BE INTERESTING BE INTERESTED. Everyone likes to talk about themselves. Just watch people talking and their body language. Everyone likes the part of the conversation thats about themselves.

 

[Aikikitty]

How come no women are replying to this??? One thing I'm really attracted to is humbleness/meekness. When I'm saying meek I'm not talking about the weak 'Dorothy Gail from Kansas-the small and meek" I'm talking about what it really means.
To illustrate meekness--Superman! Superman is so strong and could take over the world but he doesn't walk around all tough, take over the world, and show off (I hate it when guys show off!) but he uses his strength to help people.

Kindness is a major plus for me too! I like guys who are not just kind to the "cool" people but kind to everybody and treats the "weird" people just like the "cool" ones. That's a strength of character too and I'm sure girls would notice! I would! (but that's just me.)

I think you're too young for a "real" relationship but hears extra bonus advice that you don't have to pay attention too but I think it's good. -----Many people here say "be yourself" or "act and do a lot of other things" I suggest that you examine your personality and think about the flaws. Illustration---One of MY major flaws is getting impatient and when I get impatient, I don't always act like I should and many people don't like to be around me. I don't want to be that way forever (especially when I get married some day) so I've been working on that for years to not act so impatient when things get rough. It's hard but I'm getting there. >sigh< In the same way, if you have a short fuse/temper, please consider working on that because seriously-what girl would want to be with a guy who loses control like that?

I hope you get what I'm trying to say. This is my (slightly more than) 2 cents.

Robyn :asian:

 

[Nightingale]

hmmm... speaking of superman... my ideal guy is Clark Kent. He's everything women want...

1. down to earth
2. polite
3. a gentleman (opens doors, brings flowers and the like)
4. he isn't bad to look at...
5. he's intelligent and can have a conversation about something other than cars and sports. Keeping up with current events is a good thing.
6. he's protective without being oppressive... (saying "be careful" as she goes out to meet an old friend is a good thing... saying "you can't go because you dated him for two weeks five years ago" is oppressive)
7. he does housework (albeit at superspeed).


basically my advice is this:

be genuine

be yourself

think before you speak

have a genuine interest in what she has to say
(or learn to fake it really well)

let her make her own decisions about what time to spend with you, and what time to spend with her friends, because she'll resent it if you try to control her.

support her in the things she wants to do.

pay for the first date at least, and flowers are nice... one red rose, not a dozen. One sunflower is nice also.

if you upset her, apologize. even if you don't think you're wrong...saying "I'm sorry that I hurt you" is not admitting guilt. Its saying that you regret that her feelings were hurt. And flowers are a good thing (here's where the dozen roses comes in handy)

don't try to date someone just because of her looks... she'll see right through you, and you won't like her reaction.

talk to her face, not her...other assets.

(at 15, I hope you don't need to hear this one, but here it is anyway)
no means no. she isn't playing hard to get, she means it. Don't rush intimacy. You need to have an emotional connection before you have a physical one. Respect yourself and her, and remember that she deserves better than the back seat of a car. (translation...wait til your of age, preferably longer), and last but not least, if you're gonna do something stupid, be smart about it.

just my $0.02

Nightingale

 

[artful dodger]

It's the guys turn to say how they like women to be.

 

[Nightingale]

hehe... please do. you guys are as much of a mystery to us ladies as we are to you all.

 

[KenpoTess]

15 oh my.. I remember.. yeah back in the prehistoric days.. being 15... and I don't think females change much with age as far as what they like in a guy.. besides the polite stuff.. Humor is far up on my list.. and not the wise cracking jokester.. but someone who's funny.. and can make a girl smile and laugh.. at your age.. that's where you want to start out.. Just be yourself..
every girl has different 'likes'. Some like the brooding mysterious guy.. some, the boisterous ham.. some like the nerdy puter guy.. so if you have your eye on a certain girl.. watch who she interacts with.. the football players? Because maybe she wants to be popular.. ? The Teenage years are fickle ones.. I could go on for an entire book..
but my advice.. don't be changing for anyone.. Be Yourself~!!! )
have fun and enjoy life~!

Tess

 

[GouRonin]

Originally posted by artful dodger
It's the guys turn to say how they like women to be.

I won't say a word. Not...one...word...

 

[Aikikitty]

Originally posted by GouRonin



I won't say a word. Not...one...word...

You are very wise, Gou.

Robyn :asian:

 

[tonbo]

Okay, you guys asked for this, so here goes......

What do I look for in a woman?

Personality. Yep, that's right. Always have, always will. Looks are nice, too....but that's a two-way street. And looks will change over time....a good personality and friendship will last a LOT longer!

My wife is as close to my perfect woman as any human is going to get. She is intelligent, playful, sensual, and has a lot of depth. She is my best friend, my sparring partner, and the best date that I could ask for.

I have always looked for women that spent time developing things other than just their looks--makeup has NEVER impressed me, nor has flashy clothing. If a woman can hold down a good conversation, and has interests of her own, that gets me going. I don't care for the cheerleader/empty-headed/glamor girl. Give me the tomboy who can put on a dress and feel comfortable, and that's a winner.

For me, basically, if a woman isn't a thinker, then I don't need to bother. I deal with the real, not with the shallow. Looks don't impress me--brains and personality impress me.

Thankfully, my wife has both looks *and* personality. She's my best friend, a great lover, and she kicks my butt often enough to keep me honest...

Hey, you asked.....sorry about the ramble, though....

Peace--

 

[Deathtrap101]

Hey guys, thanks thats all really good advice. I actualy hang out with alot of girls at my school. My biggest problem is coming up with good conversation, another problem is im too shy to ask ayone out that i feel close too. I always wanna know for sure that they like me too and i dont think thats a very good way of thinking, caus your never gonna know for sure.

 

[Kirk]

Originally posted by Deathtrap101

Hey guys, thanks thats all really good advice. I actualy hang out with alot of girls at my school. My biggest problem is coming up with good conversation, another problem is im too shy to ask ayone out that i feel close too. I always wanna know for sure that they like me too and i dont think thats a very good way of thinking, caus your never gonna know for sure.

Just focus on being their friend. The shyness will either work itself
out, or they'll make a move on YOU, if they're interested.