Martial Art DoubleSpeak!

MartialArtHeart

Green Belt
Joined
Jun 3, 2007
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Location
Milky Way
Once again, from MA Humor

Add your own, if you wish!


Japanese martial arts are the best.
~I practice a Japanese martial art.

This art is thousands of years old.
~This style is decades old.

The martial arts are about building better people.
~The martial arts are about sweat, bruises and money.
Chinese martial arts are the best.
~I practice a Chinese martial art.

High kicks are stupid.
~I can't do high kicks.

Sparring is extremely important.
~I'm good at fighting and I like it and I can't do much of anything else.

The martial arts are about building better people.
~The martial arts are about beating people up if they lay a finger on you.

Korean martial arts are the best.
~I practice a Korean martial art.

Breaking techniques are very important.
~We do a lot of breaking techniques.

I don't believe in grades.
~Nobody ever gave me a high grade.

The martial arts are about building better evolved characters.
~Like me.

Filipino martial arts are the best.
~I practice a Filipino martial art.

Sophisticated arts like Tai Chi and Aikido are far superior.
~Sparring frightens me.

He's a good martial arts teacher.
~He's in my organization.

He's a lousy martial arts teacher.
~He used to be in my organization but he broke away and I don't get any money out of him anymore.

My style is the best.
~I don't know anything about any other styles.

Grades are not important.
~There's a grading coming up and it's important.

Breaking techniques are useless.
~I can't do breaking techniques.

I'm an innovative, free-thinking, modern Western martial arts teacher, doing my own non-classical thing.
~I'm more interested in teaching than learning; and the Orientals ignore me because they know how ignorant I am.

Martial arts politics are the necessary result of official recognition by respectable associations to protect the public.
~I belong to a large, well-established organization.

I hate martial arts politics.
~None of the large, well-established organizations recognize me or have the slightest interest in my existence.

In this system, we make the art fit the person.
~In this system, we make the person fit the art.

Competitions are a waste of time.
~I never won any competitions.

Forms or kata are the highest expression of the inner essence of the martial arts.
~I read that somewhere -- and I've had enough of tournaments.

Forms or kata are useless.
~Bruce Lee said forms are useless and this relieves me of a lot of effort, so go argue with him.

One style is not better than another -- it's the individual that counts.
~Don't go to another school --it's the style we teach here that counts.

The techniques aren't important.
~The techniques are important.

The principles are important.
~I wouldn't know what else to do with the principles so it's the techniques that are important.

Bruce Lee didn't know what he was talking about.
~I don't know what Bruce Lee was talking about.

Size and strength are not important.
~Size and strength are important, especially if you're fighting somebody
who's bigger and stronger than you are.

Science and leverage will always win out over bruce force.
~Except when he's bigger and stronger than you are.

The purpose of the martial arts is spiritual development and liberation from the ego.
~I'm so humble and wise, it's terrific.
 
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