Marketing 101

[Bob Hubbard]

Found this on a site I frequent

Marketing 101

Several friends have asked for an explanation of Marketing. Perhaps the following examples will help clear it up:

You see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and say, "I'm fantastic in bed." That's Direct Marketing.

You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a handsome guy. One of your friends goes up to him and pointing at you says, "She's fantastic in bed." That's Advertising.

You see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and get his telephone number. The next day you call and say, "Hi, I'm fantastic in bed." That's Telemarketing.

You're at a party and see a handsome guy. You get up and straighten your dress. You walk up to him and pour him a drink. You say, "May I?" and reach up to straighten his tie brushing your breast lightly against his arm, and then say, "By the way, I'm fantastic in bed." That's Public Relations.

You're at a party and see a handsome guy. He walks up to you and says, "I hear you're fantastic in bed." That's Brand Recognition.

You're at a party and see a handsome guy. You talk him into going home with your friend. That's a Sales Rep.

Your friend can't satisfy him so he calls you. That's Tech Support.

You're on your way to a party when you realize that there could be handsome men in all these houses you're passing. So you climb onto the roof of one situated toward the center and shout at the top of your lungs, "I'm fantastic in bed!" That's Spam.

 

[jeffkyle]

I liked that one! Very funny!

 

[cali_tkdbruin]

That was good, I like it... :uhyeah:

 

[Jill666]

I've had a few hansome men tell me "I'm fantastic in bed." Turns out they employ the Bait & Switch technique.

Let's not get into the whole Truth in Advertising thing...

Hey! Know why women can't do math?
Because all their life they are told their lover's penis is 9 inches.

 

[Seig]

Originally posted by Jill666
I've had a few hansome men tell me "I'm fantastic in bed." Turns out they employ the Bait & Switch technique.

Let's not get into the whole Truth in Advertising thing...

Hey! Know why women can't do math?
Because all their life they are told their lover's penis is 9 inches.

Are those the same women who tell you that you are only their second lover?

 

[Jill666]

Those women know better.

 

[Seig]

Originally posted by Jill666
Those women know better.

and worse

 

[TkdWarrior]

before this day i never liked spamming :rofl:
-TkdWarrior-

 

[Seig]

Originally posted by TkdWarrior
before this day i never liked spamming :rofl:
-TkdWarrior-

You can have mine :barf:

 

[KenpoTess]

*thinking I better start reading threads from the beginning not the end.. *suggests Mr. C do the same.. cuz going to the last page makes for "FUSION"

 

[Seig]

Oh great, she jumps from false advertising to nuclear physics

 

[KenpoTess]

Originally posted by Seig
Oh great, she jumps from false advertising to nuclear physics

Hey I happen to adore Nuclear Physics..
Bite me

 

[Seig]

Originally posted by KenpoTess
Hey I happen to adore Nuclear Physics..

Especially the ones with their own tv shows?

Bite me

Happily

 

[KenpoTess]

Originally posted by Seig
Especially the ones with their own tv shows?

Happily

Oh bother..

 

[Cliarlaoch]

Originally posted by Seig
Especially the ones with their own tv shows?

Which ones are they?

Speaking of money jokes... anybody heard the economist joke?

No, no, sit down, don't leave yet...

A chemist, an engineer, and an economist are stranded on a desert island after their ship wrecked. The only things they have that survived the wreck are the clothes they wear, and several hundred cans of food. The island has little else but sand and palm trees (no cocunuts... would wreck the joke).

Trying desperately to survive, they sit down together and try to hash out their plans for getting at the food in the cans so that they don't starve.

The chemist starts off by saying: "How about if we try to come up with some rudimentary explosive using palm leaves, sand, and salt water, and create an explosion powerful enough to pop the can open without destroying the food?"

The engineer, impressed, replies: "Good idea, but we could also see if we could set up some sort of catapult using palm leaves, and calculate exactly how high we need to fling the can to break it open without spilling or wrecking the food."

The economist is thoroughly disgusted with the other two and says: "No, no... you're going about all this the wrong way."

Both of the others turn towards the economist in expectation, who says:

"First, let's assume we have a can opener..."

 

[sweeper]

HAHAHAHAHAA!!!

Ok that was pritty damn funny.

 

[GaryM]

Why did the sexual deviant cross the road?
His dick was caught in a chicken.


What does making love in the bottom of a boat and Utah beer have in common?
They are both f***ing near water.

Why did Jeffery Dalmer have testicles in his freezer?
"Sometimes you feel like a nut..."*

*Sung to the Almond Joy/Mounds ditty

 

[GaryM]

How can you tell the driver from Utah?
They're the third one thru the red light.

 

[Rich Parsons]

Originally posted by KenpoTess
Hey I happen to adore Nuclear Physics..
Bite me

Tess,

You keep on making me cry. The perfect woman who also likes Martial Arts and Nuclear Physics. Do you have a sister? BTW you are not old enough to have grown daughter.



Kaith,


I like to sign up for a marketing class.

 

[Bob Hubbard]

Originally posted by Rich Parsons

Kaith,
I like to sign up for a marketing class.

Step 1, climb up on the roof.....