I could really use some ideas here. I have my own opinion that I will hold until I hear from you folks..
Here's the situation...
A 13 year old boy working for my son doing basic landscaping, takes a break and comes to the house for a drink. Picks up a laser pen plays with it and apparently pockets it (it can't be found anywhere along the path which he came in). NowI have as yet to confront him and that will happen (this just happened late this afternoon). He is a lonely kid, there is nobody around for him to play with. He & his mom are living with his grandparents...
What would a course of action be?
Ask questions please...
First - do you have
proof this boy took the laser pen, or is it just missing? I can understand why you may
think he took it - but unless you can prove it, you can't do anything... and how would you feel if you did something and later found the laser pen behind a piece of furniture or something? So the first thing you need to do is prove he took the laser pen.
In addition, if you accuse him without proof - based on "it was there, he went in the house, it was gone" and "he's lonely, no dad, lives with mom and grandparents" - what happens if you're wrong? I'm not saying you're wrong - you're there, and have a much better idea than I do whether or not this boy really took this pen - but if you have no proof, you can't really do anything direct. If you have any doubt - or a lack of proof - you could try asking him if he's seen it; if he
did take it, that lets him know, in a non-confrontational way, that you're aware it's missing, and could put a damper on future items "walking away".
Second - if you do manage to find proof he took the laser pen (either someone saw him, or you find him with it), the you need to talk to the boy, first alone, and then with his mother and/or grandparents. Part of the discussion needs to include finding out
why he took it; part needs to be reparation - not paying for the pen, but some form of service to the owner of the pen - maybe free labor.
Third - you need to make him understand that further infractions will have greater penalties, and that they will include potential police action.
However,
I cannot say this enough -
do not accuse this boy if you cannot prove it. No matter how sure you are that he took it, if you can't prove it, you could still be wrong. A woman I babysat for in high school accused one of my friends, who babysat on a night I was busy, of taking a necklace from her dresser. She looked everywhere - move the dressed, emptied all the drawers, pulled the bed out, everywhere she could think of... in the end, she called the police and accused my friend of theft. Because there was no proof, the charges were eventually dropped. About a year later, the woman moved, and had to pack everything - and found her necklace in the bottom of her daughter's toy chest; the 3 year-old had used it for dress-up and never knew mom was looking for it.
