Issues with former instructor

Sandy

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Hi,
I have a slight worry. See there was an instructor at my dojo who because of arguing with the Head Instructor and other not so great behaviors was put on a sabbatical for 6 months. I also had slight issues with him in that he could be patronizing to me and others in his instructions and would be overly competitive/aggressive in class sometimes.

So the 6 months are up and he's back and it makes me nervous. In fact, my first day training with him he ignored the Head Instructor's instructions, which made me very uncomfortable.

He's returned supposedly now as a "student" but he still acts like an instructor.

Anyways, I just want to train and not get into melodrama again, but worry that its going to happen anyway and that he's going to hurt me one of these days, through lack of control/competitiveness.

What should I do?
 

Ceicei

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I guess the head instructor is testing him to see whether the 6 month sabbatical has changed his thinking. It is possible your concern may be solved soon if the head instructor decides not to keep him with the school any more (assuming the problems he had weren't improved).

- Ceicei
 

theletch1

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Talk to your instructor privately. Explain your concerns in as non-judgemental a manner as possible and ask not to be paired up with this person. That's step one. Until you do that there is really nothing else anyone can advise short of "leave and find a new school" and that's always a very last resort. So, talk to your lead instructor and let us know what he has to say.
 

tshadowchaser

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two solutions:
1. talk to him and ask him what his problem is and explain why you feel nervous with him in class
2. talk to the instructor and explain your concerns
 

searcher

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My advice: let your instructor deal with it. I have seen the same thing happen before and your instructor WILL deal with it. He may think the instructor is not paying attention, but he is, trust me.
 

Cruentus

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At an OP in view of your house...
Don't have any misplaced loyalties. You pay your monthly dues, and this is America, not faux-asian ko-rotty tradition land. You owe the school nothing, and you don't have to stick around if things aren't going right.

So don't get all trapped up in this. Just try some reasonable solutions that you need no advice from anyone here to figure out; such as ignore him, talk to him after class, bring the attention to the instructor in a professional manner, etc. If all reasonable solutions fail, then leave the school and go someplace else.

Misplaced loyalties are not worth you safety, if that is really what is on the line here...

Edit: Sandy, I don't mean to sound callous, as I reread my post and realize that might be how I come off. I just want you to realistically understand that leaving is a viable option if other reasonable options have failed. :)
 

HelloKitty

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Anyways, I just want to train and not get into melodrama again, but worry that its going to happen anyway and that he's going to hurt me one of these days, through lack of control/competitiveness.

What should I do?

If I were you, I'd told these thoughts to the head instructor. And tell him the truth: you are afraid of being hurt. It's not like a little thing to ignore!

If even with that kind of conversation the situation continues, I'd start looking for a new school.

Take care of yourself, be strong and wish you the best
 

chinto01

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IMHO I would see what happens. Everyone deserves at least a second chance. If you feel things have not changed voice your training concerns to the head instructor but do it in a respectful manner.

In the spirit of bushido!

Rob
 

Shotochem

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Give him a few classes. Treat him like everyone else. He may be just a bit defensive after having to take a 6month sabbatical. If he dosn't play nice and you are uncomfortable with him as a mat partner let him know. If he dosn't try to ease your fears, don't pair up with him.

His true nature will show itself.

It is up to the head instructor to step in if he hasn't changed or isn't at least making an effort at making ammends.

Everyone deserves a second chance. (within reason:wink:)

-Marc-
 

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