What's the difference between forums and advice columns? This is how I see it: In an advice column, you post a question, the column author, who is considered an expert at the field, gives you advice and that's about it. In a thread, you can also initiate further conversation. Otherwise, you might as well lock a thread after the first reply has been posted.
And yet, whenever I try to progress with a conversation, this is perceived as 'stubborness', 'narrow mindedness', 'arrogance' etc
I have been banned from more forums than I can count and it always began like that. Some members started feeling annoyed, I would try to explain to them that I did nothing bad and then, before I knew it, without a single prior warning point, I would see the message: 'You are banned from (insert forum)/Reason: No reason/Date the ban will be lifted: Never'. Whenever I tried to contact the mods and propose we try to find a more peaceful solution, they did not even reply to my emails. So, sometimes, I'm like: 'WTF am I doing wrong and I exasperate them to that extent?'
This is not just an online thing. Nobody likes me in real life either, I never had any friends. One time, when I was 15, a guy told me that he liked my sister and wanted to marry her and I was like: 'Ok,' and that made him super happy and, for a while, we would chat and he would call me 'brother in law', but, one day, during a conversation, he got mad at me all of sudden and he told me he has had enough with me and my theories and, ever since, whenever I tried to even say 'hi' to him, he was like 'go away, nazi'. (I don't know what he finally did with my sis, if he did anything, and I don't care, this is off topic.)
Anyway, in this forum, I have seen signs of the 'annoyance phase', the period during which some members find me annoying, which is always followed pretty fast with the sudden perma ban with no right to appeal.
I might even see this message the next time I login. But what do I do wrong and every person who meets me, be it online or in real life, hates my guts after a while? Do I talk too much? Do I suffer from lack of awareness of when I should stop talking?
The fact that no one ever even bothers explaining to me what I do wrong means my mistake is pretty obvious by social rules but I cannot see it because I'm naive or stupid or whatever.
Or am I just born a jerk? One time, I heard an old woman say: 'Humans are born, not made. You cannot turn into a nice person, even if you want to.' So, if she's right and I'm born a jerk and I'll never be likeable, should I just stop bothering and accept the fact I'll never have any social life and never make it in a forum past a few weeks or months?
(Gosh, I can't believe I wrote all the above. What's got into me? But, after all that hard work, I don't feel like erasing my text. Maybe I have regretted it by tomorrow morning, lol.)
And yet, whenever I try to progress with a conversation, this is perceived as 'stubborness', 'narrow mindedness', 'arrogance' etc
I have been banned from more forums than I can count and it always began like that. Some members started feeling annoyed, I would try to explain to them that I did nothing bad and then, before I knew it, without a single prior warning point, I would see the message: 'You are banned from (insert forum)/Reason: No reason/Date the ban will be lifted: Never'. Whenever I tried to contact the mods and propose we try to find a more peaceful solution, they did not even reply to my emails. So, sometimes, I'm like: 'WTF am I doing wrong and I exasperate them to that extent?'
This is not just an online thing. Nobody likes me in real life either, I never had any friends. One time, when I was 15, a guy told me that he liked my sister and wanted to marry her and I was like: 'Ok,' and that made him super happy and, for a while, we would chat and he would call me 'brother in law', but, one day, during a conversation, he got mad at me all of sudden and he told me he has had enough with me and my theories and, ever since, whenever I tried to even say 'hi' to him, he was like 'go away, nazi'. (I don't know what he finally did with my sis, if he did anything, and I don't care, this is off topic.)
Anyway, in this forum, I have seen signs of the 'annoyance phase', the period during which some members find me annoying, which is always followed pretty fast with the sudden perma ban with no right to appeal.
I might even see this message the next time I login. But what do I do wrong and every person who meets me, be it online or in real life, hates my guts after a while? Do I talk too much? Do I suffer from lack of awareness of when I should stop talking?
The fact that no one ever even bothers explaining to me what I do wrong means my mistake is pretty obvious by social rules but I cannot see it because I'm naive or stupid or whatever.
Or am I just born a jerk? One time, I heard an old woman say: 'Humans are born, not made. You cannot turn into a nice person, even if you want to.' So, if she's right and I'm born a jerk and I'll never be likeable, should I just stop bothering and accept the fact I'll never have any social life and never make it in a forum past a few weeks or months?
(Gosh, I can't believe I wrote all the above. What's got into me? But, after all that hard work, I don't feel like erasing my text. Maybe I have regretted it by tomorrow morning, lol.)