if your significant other trains...

[bushidomartialarts]

hi all. thanks to those who answered the poll on if you want your SO to train.

now, for those of us who are with a fellow martial artist...

do you find it better or worse for your training when you're in class together? how does it affect your experience to have them with you, or to partner with them?

for that matter, let's talk about kids, too. having your children in class: good, bad or mixed?

 

[terryl965]

I have been training my wife for almost 10 years and we get along just fine, every since my three boy could walk they have been train by me. My motto is the family that kicks together stays together.
It has been a relationship that all of us have in common and can practice and compete together and still have a dozen or so vacations a year.

 

[The Kidd]

I dont have a problem with my wife being class and if I am teaching there is not a problem either. My kids since they are 10 and 8 I find myself making sure they are doing things correctly and acting appropriately so my focus sometimes is not 100% because I want them to do things well.

 

[dok]

I think it would be fun to train BJJ with my gf. both because its an art in which skill can negate physical strength, and more so than any other MA it is rather well designed as a system of aggressive foreplay.

oh armbar me, baby...

 

[bydand]

My wife strated training with me when we were just friends, before we even thought of dating actually, and it is just part of who we are together. We both had to take quite a long break after the kids were born, but are back at it and it is just natural to train together. I think it helps her because I am quite a bit larger than she is, and she knows I will NOT just "give" it to her. If a technique works, then it works and there isn't a doubt in her mind if her training partner was just taking a fall to be polite (she knows I'm not polite ).

As for the kids, our oldest 2 are old enough to start training and actually are going to be doing their first belt testing together in a couple of weeks. I help out as an assistant instructor in both of their classes and it is great. I know that everyone in my family is getting quality training (not from me, but the instructor is great) and this way I am right there to help them remember the techniques gone over in their respective classes. My wife stays after her class for a couple of hours for my class, and she never raises a bit of fuss.

 

[karatekid1975]

I trained with my BF for 4 years in TKD. We were totally cool with it. We still do jujitsu together. But in TKD, it was kind of hard to spar him because we used to giggle and kick each other in the butt like we do at home. We kind of do that in jujitsu, but we end up getting serious when he gets a hard grip on me (choke, lock, ect). He's a man, so I gotta get away Anyway I can or close to it LOL. I end up winning with a choke or .... um never mind. Sorry guys. I won't give ya that many details, it may hurt LOL.

Other than that, we work pretty good together. He knows his limit with me now

 

[Kacey]

When my significant other and I started TKD, it was something we could do together. However, he had some attitudinal problems that led to my catching up with him in rank (when we started I was a white belt and he was a blue belt - 4th gup); this exacerbated other problems in the relationship... problems that led to his being my ex-husband. Luckily for me, no one in the class really liked him - I found out after the divorce that they'd all been putting up with him for my sake - but I've seen other instances where the breakup led to major problems in the class; conflicts between students, conflicts in class between the former SO's, etc. - but nothing worse than when people who work together break up. Still, it's something to bear in mind.

 

[Kwan Jang]

When my wife and I first started dating, I started teaching her some basics of self-defense. Shortly after we were married and we were looking for ways to pay for me to go through law school, she suggested that I open up my own martial arts school (I was by then a 4th dan and had run a branch location for my instructor back in California prior to moving out here to continue my education), since it would not be time consuming (LOL), and she could help me run the business end of it after she got off work.

Well, now it's nearly 15 years later and I never made it to law school, though I have no regrets about that (though she does bring it up every now and then, especially when the parents get too out of hand). My wife and I make a comparable living to what I would have made if I went that route, but now she works at our school full time. She just earned her 4th dan this past summer. She teaches four martial arts classes per week, plus the fitness kickboxing, tai chi and yoga classes. We are also seriously looking at her managing this location and me opening a second one.

As far as our training together; she still will often train when I'm teaching a black belt class, but she and I learned a LONG time ago that we don't partner up together. One of my other senior bb's (also 4th dan) has been her training partner for many years. It's kind of funny actually, if I need to make a correction on something she's doing, I can say "Allen, tell her to bridge a little more on that armbar" or "pivot more on her round kick" and she will act like she didn't hear a thing. Then he'll say "Sandy, you'll get it better by bridging more on the armbar and make sure to keep your knees tight"; and she'll do it no questions asked. And all is well in the universe when I get home. But heaven help me if I forget and say it directly to her in class. She may not say anything to me on the floor, but wait until I get home. Yikes. It just goes to show you, no matter what your rank or how many championships you've won; if you are married, there is always a higher power.

 

[Brandon Fisher]

My wife has been in for 5 years next year and I have already started my 23rd year in. Our training varies because we are at completely different levels of experience but my wife trains hard with a lot of contact usually from me but she dishes it out a lot to.

 

[Tarot]

For this particular art, I find it better!

The great thing being we know each other and each other's limits. Everyone at any given school doesn't train the same or as hard as everyone else. Each person is different. If I feel like bumping it up a notch, I know I can partner up with my husband for that move and go hard. I like having that connection.

Plus we are able to help each other out. Sometimes he'll get a move down and I'll still be a little unsure and vice versa. We can help each other work through the move and figure it out.

Our experience so far has been great. We have an awesome connection with our school and everyone involved.

 

[Eternal Beginner]

I have always enjoyed training with my husband. We don't ever "take it home with us" and keep all of our sparring at the club!:angel:

But seriously, it is nice to have someone who understands and can help out when you have a block. It is also really nice because the social network we have built is centred around the club and dojo so everyone knows us as a couple.

I also train with both my kids. If the sensei's/instructors handle it well it is no problem at all. I have trained where having the kids there was annoying because they weren't controlled and had no rules, but in a well run club with good guidelines it can be a fantastic experience.

 

[searcher]

I have been training with my wife for around 10 years and have been her instructor for the past 7(in one art). We both have our seperate styles that we study independant of each other and we each enjoy those particular styles, but have no desire to study the other's styles. Does that make sense? The best time we have is when we teach/train together. Just as Tarot stated, we knwo each other limits and our individual strengths. I have found that we have drawn closer to each other through this. There are things she has seen in my technique that nobody else either saw or were not willing to share that have made huge differences in my skill level. And I the same with her.

I actually count her as the reason we left one school we were both teaching at. She knew the head instructor and I were having problems and at that point she started having some with the other BBs in the school(they were trying to bring damage to her). At that point she asked me why we were staying there. And we moved on. If it were not for that I don't think I would be where I am today or would have the knowledge I now have.