How to know when you've left your Gi in your car far too long

Bob Hubbard

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How to know when you've left your Gi in your car far too long...

  • You and your passengers suffer from a rare form of "inhalation ringworm"
  • A cop pulls you over for speeding, smells the car and asks "Ok, Hannibal where' the body?".
  • The vermin who originally infested your car to eat the scraps of pizza you drop have all died from exposure to your gi.
  • A carjacker forces you out of your car at gunpoint, gets in, drives 10 yards, gets out, and yells "Sheez man, where's you sense of decency!?"
  • Your dog, unlike most dogs who love a car ride, braces his paws against the sides of your car to avoid being forced inside.
  • You are driving on a lonely country road at night and pick up a hitchiker. He expains that he has been waiting in the rain for a ride for 5 hours and he needs to get to the hospital were his wife is having a baby. Upon smelling your gi he dives out the window at 60mph and takes off running through a field.
  • A fly finds it's way into your car and instantly dies.
  • You are able to mold your gi like a Gumby figure so it looks like a passenger so you can drive in the car pool lane.
  • You have a pet name for the ringworm on the sleeve of your gi and often talk with it about your hopes and dreams as you drive down the freeway.
  • The FBI seizes your vehicle on suspision of being a "Bio-terrorism" weapon.
  • You look in your rear-view mirror and now see 3 gi's... your gi is somehow reproducing!
  • The interior of your car smells like a member of the Al Qaeda terrorist network.
  • You are afraid to park your car in direct sunlight because the windshield-magnifying-glass effect might cause instantaneous combustion of the volatile gases inside the passenger compartment.
  • That half a hamburger you left on the seat the night before is gone in the morning.
  • The next morning your gi has moved from the back seat into the front seat.
  • Then the kid from The Sixth Sense gets in your car and says "I smell dead people!".
  • Riding in your car gives your great-grandfather flashbacks of being mustard gassed in WWI
  • The Four Horsemen of the Apocolypse show up at your house with baseball bats demanding to see your union card.
[/B]



I found this one over on Budoseek...they got some more good ones there too. :)
 
I think I used to teach that guy, Nobody wanted to go near him or his uniform.
 
Originally posted by Rob_Broad

I think I used to teach that guy, Nobody wanted to go near him or his uniform.

He visited your dojo too?

/Yari
 
I had the, um, pleasure? of training with a person once.... the oder that came from them was, unique. Of course it was a day to do techniques, and of, course, they were sweating, heavilly.

I don't know which was worse...the fact that their choke hold was too tight, or the fact that their 'smell' was choking...

I spent along time in the shower that night....

:barf: :anic:
 
I had to do grappling with a guy who owned that gi. I had my face stuck in his armpit.
 
I think that guy was my dad. He had a uniform like that. Stood up on it on in a corner and held together with all different colors of thread. Plus it was died eight or nine times to get that unique look that only he had.....

Go on ask him, he'll tell you. I think he still has id too. That's the sad part.
 
Maybe practicing in the rain, or under a shower(waterfall-sim) isn't a bad idea at all........


/Yari
 
Originally posted by Kaith Rustaz

How to know when you've left your Gi in your car far too long...

  • You and your passengers suffer from a rare form of "inhalation ringworm"
  • A cop pulls you over for speeding, smells the car and asks "Ok, Hannibal where' the body?".
  • The vermin who originally infested your car to eat the scraps of pizza you drop have all died from exposure to your gi.
  • A carjacker forces you out of your car at gunpoint, gets in, drives 10 yards, gets out, and yells "Sheez man, where's you sense of decency!?"
  • Your dog, unlike most dogs who love a car ride, braces his paws against the sides of your car to avoid being forced inside.
  • You are driving on a lonely country road at night and pick up a hitchiker. He expains that he has been waiting in the rain for a ride for 5 hours and he needs to get to the hospital were his wife is having a baby. Upon smelling your gi he dives out the window at 60mph and takes off running through a field.
  • A fly finds it's way into your car and instantly dies.
  • You are able to mold your gi like a Gumby figure so it looks like a passenger so you can drive in the car pool lane.
  • You have a pet name for the ringworm on the sleeve of your gi and often talk with it about your hopes and dreams as you drive down the freeway.
  • The FBI seizes your vehicle on suspision of being a "Bio-terrorism" weapon.
  • You look in your rear-view mirror and now see 3 gi's... your gi is somehow reproducing!
  • The interior of your car smells like a member of the Al Qaeda terrorist network.
  • You are afraid to park your car in direct sunlight because the windshield-magnifying-glass effect might cause instantaneous combustion of the volatile gases inside the passenger compartment.
  • That half a hamburger you left on the seat the night before is gone in the morning.
  • The next morning your gi has moved from the back seat into the front seat.
  • Then the kid from The Sixth Sense gets in your car and says "I smell dead people!".
  • Riding in your car gives your great-grandfather flashbacks of being mustard gassed in WWI
  • The Four Horsemen of the Apocolypse show up at your house with baseball bats demanding to see your union card.




I found this one over on Budoseek...they got some more good ones there too. :) [/B]


"The interior of your car smells like a member of the Al Qaeda terrorist network."

Talk about the ULTIMATE groin shot!
:rofl:
 
hand it over to president bush as a low cost substitute for the star wars defense program. the ultimate doomsday device.
 
I've had the dubious 'experience' of dealing with a few of these folks. My instructor has also. He will be nice the first time, but the next time, he will mention that so and so needs a hose-down and de-lousing! Usually works!! :eek:
 
what dance schools usually do is post hygene standards in the bathroom/locker room. generally says stuff like:

attire will be clean and washed between workouts
deodorant must be worn
hair must be worn away from face
no jewelry

all the teachers had to do is ask someone if they'd read the red sign on the mirror in the locker room. that usually solved the problem and gave the teachers a pretty tactful way out.
 
Leaving a note on their locker that says that they need to wash their **** works wonders. :)
 
there was one guy who came to the school I was training at who stank so bad, and had nasty sweat stains on his gi, that I decided to do something that was probably slightly evil. I felt bad, because he was a nice guy, but he was the only one who was the same rank as me, so guess who always had to do techniques with him? yep. ME! The day I got stuck working "Grip of Death" (kenpo headlock technique) with him over and over was the last straw.

So this is what I did:


I took a ziploc bag.



into it, I placed the following items:


a small box of laundry detergent

a large deodorant stick

a bar of Irish Spring Soap

a note saying "(Name withheld), Use. Please."



I then placed the bag on the hood of his car on my way out.


The following class, he came in freshly washed and scrubbed. It was never an issue again.

I don't know if he ever figured out who did it, but he never said anything, and the problem was solved....

sometimes when people stink, they're so used to stinking that they don't notice it anymore.
 
Originally posted by Kaith Rustaz
I spent along time in the shower that night....

I know that feeling...you keep repeating to yourself... "...must ...get...clean..." while you're using the steel brush with comet...
:rofl:
 
Heh..I'm reminded of the scene in the Fisher King when Robin Williams characters going to meet his dream girl...they stuck one of those car pine tree air freshners around his neck...

Maybe we can make something similar and market it? Little deoderant patches in the shape of your art or school logo?

Call em "Dojo-fresh!" (tm)

:rofl:

heh...steel brush hell...was a Lava soap and brillo pad night. :D
 
This reminds me of my college TKD days. There was this one guy...just a few brief snippets.

Me: "Yo! You have to wash your uniform regularly! And do you keep it in that bag all the time" [as I point to the plastic grocery bag he carries it in]
Him: "Well, I figure if I tie the bag tight enough it won't smell so bad around other people."
Me: "Well, it smells pretty bad whenever you open it."
Him: "So how would I wash it?"
[I kick him a few times, then come to my senses]
Me: "So when was the last time you washed it?" [He's been in TKD about 4 months at this point]
Him: "Well, I haven't washed it yet..."
[I kick him a few more times]

This story is true, except for me kicking him. He had a sort of "oder shield" which kept me out of striking distance.

Cheers,
Bryan
 
OMG!!! EEEEEEWWWWWW!!!!!!

:fart:

Reminds me of my brother's science project....

his group was testing household cleaners.

he wanted to see if Febreze really worked to get smells out of clothing... so he wore the same clothes for two weeks, spraying himself down with Febreze daily... the conclusion of the experiment: Febreze works, but not well enough to get you within ten feet of your girlfriend if you've been wearing the same clothes for more than three days.


:rofl:
 
The thing I can't stand is when people show up to class reeking of garlic. When you get stuck doing push hands with one of these people it gets really nasty. I swear one guy in my class must eat cloves of garlic on his way to class.
 

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