How Funny!!!

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marshallbd

Guest
Surfing the Web at lunch looking for whatever and found this.....never seen it before....HOW FUNNY IS THAT?.... :asian:

Become a certified Kung Fu Blackbelt in five easylessons for just $499.00 !!


"A $1000 Dollar Value"


Do you want the prestige of becoming a Certified Kung Fu Blackbelt?? Call
(352) 307-3821.


Can you handle the respect that comes with the rank of Blackbelt??


IF YOU ANSWERED, "YES" TO BOTH OF THESE QUESTIONS, YOU ARE ONLY ONE PHONE
CALL AWAY FROM ACHIEVING THE RANK OF KUNG FU BLACKBELT. CALL (352) 307-3821 !!


Hi, my name is Sifu Edwards, and I am a 3rd degree Blackbelt Sifu Instructor.
I have been a martial arts instructor my entire adult life. I am a decorated
combat Vietnam Veteran and I received a purple heart for wounds received in
combat. I currently own and operate a professional bodyguard agency for
wealthy clients outside Orlando, Florida.


After years of study, I have developed five unique, easy to learn, home study
lessons. All you need to learn are the following lessons:


1. Crane (White Belt)
2. Leopard (Green Belt)
3. Praying Mantis (Blue Belt)
4. Dragon (Brown Belt)
5. Serpent (Black Belt)


After learning the five lessons you will be awarded:


1. A FIRST DEGREE BLACKBELT in Kung Fu.
2. An official BLACKBELT CERTIFICATE with authentic seal with my original
signature and the original signatures of two other Blackbelts.
3. A notarized certificate of authenticity.
4. A copy of my 3rd Degree BLACKBELT SIFU INSTRUCTOR CERTIFICATE, signed by a
World Champion Grand Master, authorizing me, to certify you.


Simply complete the course, by learnig all five lessons, and you can become a
certified first degree Black Belt!


For more information call (352) 307-3821. We will answer any questions you
have personally; we also offer Kung Fu uniforms, Blackbelt sashes, dragon
patches and other martial arts supplies.


You are only one call away from being a Kung Fu Blackbelt...
 
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marshallbd

Guest
Seig said:
It isn't funny. Someone will do it, join Martial Talk and then tell us how real they are. I don't need this......
Why would someone want a black belt in speed dial?
 

Rich Parsons

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marshallbd said:
Why would someone want a black belt in speed dial?
The Now Generation does not want a hard work.

People want to impress and brag to others.

This is sad :(
 

theletch1

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Seig said:
It isn't funny. Someone will do it, join Martial Talk and then tell us how real they are. I don't need this......
Ah, but the masses on MT need it. No one has been fed to the lions in a while here. :uhyeah:

I know what you're saying, though, Seig. It is depressing to think that someone who doesn't know any better (or who does and just has the ego to think they can do it) will plop down their money, get ripped off and actually believe that they are a qualified instructor. That begins the cycle of some one learning from the un-learned and going on to spread their drivel and so on and so on (ad nausium).
 
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RCastillo

Guest
"Ah, but the masses on MT need it. No one has been fed to the lions in a while here."

Yes, MT has become the "Roman Colisseum, of sorts. But I think I'll sit this one out ,and enjoy for a change! :popcorn:
 
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Chicago Green Dragon

Guest
This is too funny.

I think people would prob be better off taping some kung fu the legend continues episodes and calling it a day.

You know the scarey thing is i bet there are a bunch of people who will actually do this. There is another guy i remember who was offering a kenpo black belt right up front with a dated certificate........ for i think it was a thousand bucks.

This is too funny. I think this guy's been hanging around Mc Donalds drive thru too much..... would you like fries with that black belt or just a shake
ROTFL

:partyon:


Chicago Green Dragon

:asian:
 
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marshallbd

Guest
Chicago Green Dragon said:
You know the scarey thing is i bet there are a bunch of people who will actually do this. There is another guy i remember who was offering a kenpo black belt right up front with a dated certificate........ for i think it was a thousand bucks.

:asian:
www.adrianroman.com There's his website....He also offers a black belt for Red Warrior/Tushka Homa Native American Knife Fighting for $700. Buy the program and get your Black Belt sent with it and a signed Certificate post dated 1 year from the date of purchase... :asian: I'll wait and learn the right way when i can...
 

Kembudo-Kai Kempoka

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from the website Marshall offered... Is this not the damndest thing you've ever seen? (highlights are added by moi)

I will send you video tapes of Yellow Belt thru 1st Degree Black Belt, and written manuals for each belt level. You will receive a complementary workout t-shirt, your Black Belt and of course your 1st degree Black Belt diploma. I do this for three reason. (1) I'm a full blood Choctaw Indian and I use my Native honor system??? that you will complete the distance learning program and become the best possible Black Belt you can be???. (2) God forbid something happen to me, I would not have wanted you to spend this kind of money and not receive your certification. (3) Most do not live in a city and state where you have access to an instructor or school that teaches a proven sophisticated system Like American Kenpo or Red Warrior (THEN YOU DON'T GET TO TRAIN IN IT!!!). There is so much misinformation available to you thru the internet (LIKE THIS AD). There are so many inferior school out there teaching elementary and embryonic systems. You know who I'm speaking about, there on every street corner and in every neighborhood. If I can just keep just one person from attending those types of school and becoming just another cooker cutter black belt, then I have done the martial arts a service. My Distant Learning Black Belts will be far superior students than the black belts from your neighborhood school, just having more sophisticated information. Ed Parker's American Kenpo system is the leading system in the martial arts world. For more research on Ed Parker, access the internet. This Kenpo Distant Learning Program cost $995


AND HE'S SAYING YOU'LL BE AN EPAK BLACK BELT...THROUGH THE FRIGGIN MAIL!!!!

Now I get where the guys come from who say, "I've only had 6 months of TKD, and whooped a certified EPAK black belt just last week". The guy says he's an 8th Degree Black, EPAK.

Just kill me now.

 

Kembudo-Kai Kempoka

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That's it. I've had it. I'm now offering mail-order black belts in Golden Chicken Kung-Fu. But to make it elite, this offer is only good between now and next thursday, and available only to those gullible enough to send me a $50,000.00 cashiers check. Only 5 will be awarded to worthy students, so act now. BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE.

If you order today, I'll include your Golden Chicken Kung-Fu MASTERS Certificate with GCKF Association key-ring for ab-so-lute-ly free!

But you must act now! Supplies are limited, and going fast. Just call 1-800-SGM-EKP-ROLLING IN GRAVE.
 
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marshallbd

Guest
Kembudo-Kai Kempoka said:
from the website Marshall offered... Is this not the damndest thing you've ever seen? (highlights are added by moi)

]
I only offered this link up for whoever wants to see it. I do not advocate it! ( I am by no means qualified to even think about doing so!) I am only a very beginning level student and will remain so until a qualified and caring instructor tells me I am ready to be advanced to a new level of material. Until then I will practice the little I have learned and try and expose myself to as much as I can via Video until I can make it in to a Good school/instructor. :asian:
 

Kembudo-Kai Kempoka

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marshallbd said:
I only offered this link up for whoever wants to see it. I do not advocate it! ( I am by no means qualified to even think about doing so!) I am only a very beginning level student and will remain so until a qualified and caring instructor tells me I am ready to be advanced to a new level of material. Until then I will practice the little I have learned and try and expose myself to as much as I can via Video until I can make it in to a Good school/instructor. :asian:
I never thought for a moment you were advocating it, and I apologize profusely and whole-heartedly if it came accross that way. I only mentioned your name in respect for the contribution to the forum...you actually found it, and I have a tough time working Maps on Yahoo.

Salute!

Dr. Dave
 
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Chicago Green Dragon

Guest
Hows this ill bring my sweet and sour soup and moshoe pork combo

then when the student buys our program they can have a complete black belt menu in some dum guy kung fu chicken

ROTFL

hahahahahahaha

Chicago Green Dragon (a.k.a moshoe pork)

:asian:

Kembudo-Kai Kempoka said:
That's it. I've had it. I'm now offering mail-order black belts in Golden Chicken Kung-Fu. But to make it elite, this offer is only good between now and next thursday, and available only to those gullible enough to send me a $50,000.00 cashiers check. Only 5 will be awarded to worthy students, so act now. BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE.

If you order today, I'll include your Golden Chicken Kung-Fu MASTERS Certificate with GCKF Association key-ring for ab-so-lute-ly free!

But you must act now! Supplies are limited, and going fast. Just call 1-800-SGM-EKP-ROLLING IN GRAVE.
 
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marshallbd

Guest
Kembudo-Kai Kempoka said:
I never thought for a moment you were advocating it, and I apologize profusely and whole-heartedly if it came accross that way. I only mentioned your name in respect for the contribution to the forum...you actually found it, and I have a tough time working Maps on Yahoo.

Salute!

Dr. Dave
Thank you.... :asian:
 
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MisterMike

Guest
Seig said:
It isn't funny. Someone will do it, join Martial Talk and then tell us how real they are. I don't need this......

You mean I'm not credible???? ..... J/K
 

Rich Parsons

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Instead of Chicken Kung Fu could it be Kung Fu Chicken? Then you can go get napkins and stuff from KFC ;) and sell it as part of your kit :D

:rofl:

This is in no way an attack on Kung Fu. :asian:
 

Kembudo-Kai Kempoka

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In the spirit of my offer, I have just promoted myself to Supreme World Great Grand-Master (SWGGM) of Imperial Golden Chicken McNugget Kung-Fu (thanks for the Imperial lead, CGD). Additionally, aliens have downloaded vast amounts of martial wisdom to my head, and promoted me to Nth -degree black belt in Ninja Secret Serpent Kenpo...programs for Mastery can be telepathically downloaded to you, from me, after filling out the attached credit card information. Your certificate will also be telepathically downloaded to you; simply imagine what you think it might look like, and that's what you paid for.

BTW, what do they mean when they tell me I'm a disorganized schizophrenic who has missed too many meds?
 

Kembudo-Kai Kempoka

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Rich Parsons said:
Instead of Chicken Kung Fu could it be Kung Fu Chicken? Then you can go get napkins and stuff from KFC ;) and sell it as part of your kit :D

:rofl:

This is in no way an attack on Kung Fu. :asian:
I like it; I like it!
 
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