Guys who "fight" to defend girl vs Guy who genuinely concerned is for beloved females' safety

Tez3

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I'm always kinda surprised at what people think is appropriate to say to female officers when we are on calls together. My main partner is a woman and she's very attractive. People say some of the dumbest things to her they would never say to a guy

'I love a woman in uniform' is probably the comment that most female police officers hear and probably the least offensive! I've had the one about putting a woman in uniform and she turns in a Nazi and lots of inappropriate comments do come from drunks and often from men who wouldn't say it to one of their female acquaintances otherwise but an awful lot of them came from sober men who really should know better.

I just figure that this kind of thing won't happen if you're not at dirty bars and stupid dance clubs and other foolish places where this kind of thing would take place. Go to decent restaurants, don't go to parties where everyone plans on getting sloshed, and otherwise be clean people. I've been with my fianc矇e for 4 years before proposing and we've only once had any significant issue with someone disrespecting her body, and it has been since dealt with and honestly I barely remember the who/what/where/when of it all anyways. Besides, she's a nurse. Creepy old man patients grope her all the time and she can't do a thing about it besides give him a nickname for her coworkers to call him.


Then I'm afraid you figure it wrong and you are saying that it's women's fault that they get these comments.
The workplace is the most common place for inappropriate touching and comments, these can lead to bigger incidents. Transport networks such as the Tube here in the UK and buses, the man who sits that bit closer to you than is necessary, whose hand wanders towards your backside or boobs by 'accident' or who rubs himself against you while you are standing. Then there's the chap who likes to pat a woman's bum as she's walking past, this can be the boss/someone higher up the chain who is 'just being friendly', it could be the customer in a restaurant, yes the decent ones, patting the waitresses bum. It can be a work colleague who 'massages' your shoulders because he thinks you look tired, it could be the chap in the shop who holds you hand as he hand over his money/your purchases, works both ways. it can be workmen whistling and catcalling from building sites as a girl walks past. It can be a work colleague telling a filthy joke in front of a woman just to embarrass her, and goodness knows how many sexist jokes there are that get told to make women feel uncomfortable. There's the comment that if a woman is looking 'grumpy' 'well she must be on her period'. I could go on for pages more but won't but I hope you get the general idea.
All these people are 'clean' and sober.
 

Tez3

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Catcalls, whistles, groping: the everyday picture of sexual harassment

Sexual harassment part of daily life for young girls study

The Girl Guiding survey I can vouch for as I'm part of the organisation.

The problem is that this type of behaviour isn't hidden but it is ignored, most people ( and I say people not just men) don't see it or dismiss it as just one of the things you have to put up with but often it's happening right in front of you and you can't see it. You may pride yourself in thinking that you don't behave like that but unless you help stamp it out when others do it will carry on. You may think a 'harmless' pat on the bum isn't groping and if it happened to a man he'll be chuffed to bits but it's still an unasked for touch he may not want.
 

Tez3

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I do realise that violence is an issue that affects not just women and there are big problems with young males and violence but because we are an all female organisation we campaign against violence to females. this isn't just where you are or where you live but a worldwide campaign because we are also a worldwide organisation that has been going for over a hundred years in many countries so if you can help please do.


About the campaign
 

pgsmith

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Only time I've ever actually done something about it was on the spur of the moment. Saw a kid (20 something?) in a fairly crowded store reach out and cop a feel of a young lady of the same approximate age that was walking by him in front of me. She turned and protested and he laughed with his buddy. So, when I walked past him, I did the same thing to him. He got angry and yelled at me for grabbing his back side. I told him I would apologize for doing it to him if he would apologize for doing it to the young lady (who was watching after hearing him yelling). I was expecting the usual young male posturing from him and his friend, but instead I got a thoughtful look and he apologized to the woman he groped and assured her that he would not do that again. So, I apologized for inappropriate contact, and went on my way. That's when my wife thanked me for intervening, then slugged me for causing a scene and almost causing a fight. :)
 

Tez3

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Only time I've ever actually done something about it was on the spur of the moment. Saw a kid (20 something?) in a fairly crowded store reach out and cop a feel of a young lady of the same approximate age that was walking by him in front of me. She turned and protested and he laughed with his buddy. So, when I walked past him, I did the same thing to him. He got angry and yelled at me for grabbing his back side. I told him I would apologize for doing it to him if he would apologize for doing it to the young lady (who was watching after hearing him yelling). I was expecting the usual young male posturing from him and his friend, but instead I got a thoughtful look and he apologized to the woman he groped and assured her that he would not do that again. So, I apologized for inappropriate contact, and went on my way. That's when my wife thanked me for intervening, then slugged me for causing a scene and almost causing a fight. :)

I would like to thank you as well!.
It's that sort of 'casual' harassment that so many females have to put up with, it's accepted that it's okay to do that sort of thing right up until someone like yourself points out that it's obviously not okay.
 

Tony Dismukes

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Just out of curiosity, how often have you been groped? Are you saying this happens all the time? Not in my world.
Are you female?

I very rarely see groping occurring, but I'm male. Based on listening to and reading accounts from women, this sort of thing (along with catcalls and other forms of sexual harassment) seem to be pretty common features of the female experience.

I just figure that this kind of thing won't happen if you're not at dirty bars and stupid dance clubs and other foolish places where this kind of thing would take place. Go to decent restaurants, don't go to parties where everyone plans on getting sloshed, and otherwise be clean people. I've been with my fianc矇e for 4 years before proposing and we've only once had any significant issue with someone disrespecting her body, and it has been since dealt with and honestly I barely remember the who/what/where/when of it all anyways. Besides, she's a nurse. Creepy old man patients grope her all the time and she can't do a thing about it besides give him a nickname for her coworkers to call him.

Based on many, many accounts from different women, I'm thinking you are mistaken on this one. Heck - the last two sentences of your comment undermines the first part. If your fianc矇e is getting groped all the time at work, then she isn't exactly protected by not going to "dirty bars and stupid dance clubs." (For that matter, societal attitudes that allow her to be groped at work without recourse are the same thing that lead guys to grope unwilling women at bars and dance clubs.)
 

Tames D

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Are you female?

I very rarely see groping occurring, but I'm male. Based on listening to and reading accounts from women, this sort of thing (along with catcalls and other forms of sexual harassment) seem to be pretty common features of the female experience.



Based on many, many accounts from different women, I'm thinking you are mistaken on this one. Heck - the last two sentences of your comment undermines the first part. If your fianc矇e is getting groped all the time at work, then she isn't exactly protected by not going to "dirty bars and stupid dance clubs." (For that matter, societal attitudes that allow her to be groped at work without recourse are the same thing that lead guys to grope unwilling women at bars and dance clubs.)
No I'm not a female. But I do have a lot of females in my life, and their not getting groped.
 
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