Girlfriend doing Muay Thai sparring

[Joshs1990]

Hey guys,

So I don't do Muay Thai or martial arts at all, but I've been a big fan of strength training for years. I've been currently dating my girlfriend for about 8 months and currently she doesn't do Muay Thai or any martial arts, but has trained in Muay Thai and jujitsu in the past. She has talked about doing it in the future as well. This being said, I'm happy for her learned to defend herself and get in shape! My concern is the sparring aspect. She has sparred in the past as well and has gotten two back (disc) injuries from it. My concern going forward is that she will get hurt again. Not just her back but her face. I've broken my nose before and needed rhinoplasty/septoplasty to repair it. So, the thought of someone hitting my baby girl in the face and possibly putting her through what I went though recovering from nose injuries, makes my blood boil. Really the thought of her getting hit at all by anyone makes me feel pissed and weird inside. Kind of weird because she's putting her appearance on the line. I have a close girl friend who recently got the **** kicked out of her in Muay Thai. I explained my situation to her and she thought my feelings about my Gf getting hurt were justified and thought it was really sweet. I guess my question is, is it controlling for me not to want her to spar? I value her face and I don't want it getting smashed for the sake of exercise. Thanks for your help!

 

[Headhunter]

Yes it is controlling it's non of your business if she spars or not. You seem to care a lot about her appearance more than actual harm being done to her...sounds more like your ego that's got a problem here.

She can do whatever she wants and there's nothing you can do about it.

 

[Joshs1990]

This is exactly the kind of response I figured I'd get here. Insulting and not helpful whatsoever. Anyone with legit advice instead of bashing me? Of course I'm concerned with her health, as well as appearance, who isn't concerned of those two things in a relationship?

 

[Headhunter]

This is exactly the kind of response I figured I'd get here. Insulting and not helpful whatsoever. Anyone with legit advice instead of bashing me? Of course I'm concerned with her health, as well as appearance, who isn't concerned of those two things in a relationship?

You asked is it controlling I said yes because guess what it is controlling don't get upset because you don't like the answer.

What are you going to do tell her she's not allowed to do it? That's extremely controlling and quite honestly it's borderline on abusive

 

[Danny T]

Training in any martial art is physical.
We don't train to specifically harm each other.
We do train to be better.
Any athletic endeavor has the potential for injury.
First time I broke my nose was from baseball.
If she is concerned as much as you about injuries there is a lot of safety equipment available.

 

[Joshs1990]

Danny t, thank you. You are right any sport comes with inherent risk. She wears headgear when she used to spar, so I guess that does make me feel slightly better. Idk just the thought of her getting hit at all in the head seems not worth it, just for all the risk that goes along with it/ missing teeth/broken nose or jaw/brain damage. I mean she is currently in dental school to be an orthodontist so I don't understand the risk I suppose (be it brain damage or whatever). I can't put myself in the head of a fighter because I'm not one, so that's why I came here for advice. Do Muay Thai spars usually involve heavy blows to the head/face?

 

[Kickboxer101]

Yep it's controlling if she's fine with it then suck it up

 

[Joshs1990]

You asked is it controlling I said yes because guess what it is controlling don't get upset because you don't like the answer.

What are you going to do tell her she's not allowed to do it? That's extremely controlling and quite honestly it's borderline on abusive

You are a very typical Internet forum responder. you're just looking to start **** and I'm not looking for that. properly love off if you don't have any real advice other than to call me 'abusive'

 

[Headhunter]

Danny t, thank you. You are right any sport comes with inherent risk. She wears headgear when she used to spar, so I guess that does make me feel slightly better. Idk just the thought of her getting hit at all in the head seems not worth it, just for all the risk that goes along with it/ missing teeth/broken nose or jaw/brain damage. I mean she is currently in dental school to be an orthodontist so I don't understand the risk I suppose (be it brain damage or whatever). I can't put myself in the head of a fighter because I'm not one, so that's why I came here for advice. Do Muay Thai spars usually involve heavy blows to the head/face?

It's not your place to understand and maybe it's not worth it to you but to her it is so that's all that matters. I don't understand what advice is needed. If it was her asking then fine but it's not your choice and nothing to do with you she's an adult she makes her choices.

 

[Headhunter]

You are a very typical Internet forum responder. you're just looking to start **** and I'm not looking for that. properly love off if you don't have any real advice other than to call me 'abusive'

I'm not starting anything you asked are you controlling I said yes. If she does Muay Thai then good on her, don't like it? That's your problem

And sorry but telling someone what they can and can't do is abusive first it's that, then it's who she can hang out with, then it's what she wears, then it's where she goes. That's forms of abuse and I've seen it plenty of times.

 

[Joshs1990]

I'm not starting anything you asked are you controlling I said yes. If she does Muay Thai then good on her, don't like it? That's your problem

And sorry but telling someone what they can and can't do is abusive first it's that, then it's who she can hang out with, then it's what she wears, then it's where she goes. That's forms of abuse and I've seen it plenty of times.

Unless you fully understood our relationship which you do not, don't assume all that is going to come into play. I've been controlling in relationships before and learned from it not to be that way. We all learn from previous relationships and grow. For now, I'm trying to wrap my head around the logic behind this desire to fight. Lol 'abusive'...

 

[Headhunter]

Unless you fully understood our relationship which you do not, don't assume all that is going to come into play. I've been controlling in relationships before and learned from it not to be that way. We all learn from previous relationships and grow. For now, I'm trying to wrap my head around the logic behind this desire to fight. Lol 'abusive'...

Like I said it's nothing to do with you and if you think it is any of your business then you need to have a look at yourself

 

[Joshs1990]

Like I said it's nothing to do with you and if you think it is any of your business then you need to have a look at yourself

So if your girlfriend came home with a broken and crooked nose, or missing teeth because someone popped her in the head, and she required surgery to fix it, you wouldn't feel like it was maybe a bad idea for her to continue sparring? I'm just trying to keep her best interest in mind not control her. I already told her go ahead but it's just the 'what if' factor that I can't move past. I appreciate you writing to me and taking the time out of your day. Couples are a team, so of course it's my business to address something if I don't agree with it, just like I would want her to do the same for me.

 

[Tony Dismukes]

So if your girlfriend came home with a broken and crooked nose, or missing teeth because someone popped her in the head, and she required surgery to fix it, you wouldn't feel like it was maybe a bad idea for her to continue sparring? I'm just trying to keep her best interest in mind not control her. I already told her go ahead but it's just the 'what if' factor that I can't move past. I appreciate you writing to me and taking the time out of your day. Couples are a team, so of course it's my business to address something if I don't agree with it, just like I would want her to do the same for me.

I've come home with injuries from training and sparring before, some of which have required surgery. (Fortunately no broken noses or missing teeth so far,) My wife is concerned for my health, but she doesn't suggest I should quit training. She knows that my training makes me happy and that happiness is worth the occasional injury.

If it makes you feel better, it's very unlikely that your girlfriend would have teeth knocked out as long as she is sparring with gloves and a mouthpiece. The head gear makes it even less likely. A broken nose is more of a possibility, but probably won't happen. I've been training for 35 years without breaking my nose. Most of the people I know who got broken noses did so in actual competition. not sparring in the gym.

 

[Gerry Seymour]

This is exactly the kind of response I figured I'd get here. Insulting and not helpful whatsoever. Anyone with legit advice instead of bashing me? Of course I'm concerned with her health, as well as appearance, who isn't concerned of those two things in a relationship?

You asked the question and got a sincere answer. If you don't want the truth, don't ask the question.

 

[Gerry Seymour]

Danny t, thank you. You are right any sport comes with inherent risk. She wears headgear when she used to spar, so I guess that does make me feel slightly better. Idk just the thought of her getting hit at all in the head seems not worth it, just for all the risk that goes along with it/ missing teeth/broken nose or jaw/brain damage. I mean she is currently in dental school to be an orthodontist so I don't understand the risk I suppose (be it brain damage or whatever). I can't put myself in the head of a fighter because I'm not one, so that's why I came here for advice. Do Muay Thai spars usually involve heavy blows to the head/face?

Whether it includes heavy blows to the head depends upon the instructor/school and the sparring partners.

 

[Headhunter]

You asked the question and got a sincere answer. If you don't want the truth, don't ask the question.

He wanted me to answer saying no it's not controlling at all and he's such a hero for being so concerned and that he's a knight in shining armour for trying to tell his girl what she can and can't do

 

[Joshs1990]

He wanted me to answer saying no it's not controlling at all and he's such a hero for being so concerned and that he's a knight in shining armour for trying to tell his girl what she can and can't do

Knowing that sarcastic shitheads like you are probably the people she's training with doesn't help. Forum closed

 

[Headhunter]

I'll tell you why this subject pisses me off so much. My daughter was dating this guy and living with him and she's always just done kenpo and she'd get the odd bruise as you do and the guy she was with kept subtly saying she shouldn't do it as it risk her health and she shouldn't be damaging her soul by learning to fight and that god wouldn't forgive her (he was one of those ott religious types) so she stopped training. Now I didn't know any of this until much later but she said to me she didn't want to anymore. But one day she realised what he was up to and said she was going to train and he tried to physically stop her and he ended with a elbow across the jaw and a knee in the groin from her. Luckily she realised what was happening and got out but some girls wouldn't realise that's why controlling boyfriends really angers me.

 

[Headhunter]

Knowing that sarcastic shitheads like you are probably the people she's training with doesn't help. Forum closed

And knowing she's dating control freaks like you means that training martial arts is exactly what she needs. Bye bye