Funny fight stories

[stingrae]

A few weeks ago our second-in-command (assistant?) coach was running class and before we start randori "reminds" us that, hey, it's practice, we can get away with a little more than if we were in a tournament and to use what we can to our advantage. Nothing dangerous, of course, but we didn't have any more tournaments this semester and it was meant to be a fun practice, a reprieve from our usual grueling routine.

I go and fight another coach and, during the groundwork, my belt comes off. Instead of pausing I grab it and try to wrap his legs together to give me a distraction to choke him. Sly guy takes my belt from me, gets me on my stomach, and decides to "arrest" me.

You know the saying "I can fight you with one hand tied behind my back"? No, no you can't. Especially not 2!

Anyone got any funny randori stories from their dojo?

 

[Ironbear24]

A dude pulls a pocket knife on me and has a friend with him. I pick up a foldout chair and the dude with the knife says "dude that's cheating!"

 

[stingrae]

A dude pulls a pocket knife on me and has a friend with him. I pick up a foldout chair and the dude with the knife says "dude that's cheating!"

I need to use that. Not the foldout chair, but the "Dude, that's cheating!" line.

 

[Ironbear24]

I need to use that. Not the foldout chair, but the "Dude, that's cheating!" line.

That actually de-escalated the fight. All of us started laughing, then an old women came out and threatened to call the cops so we all ran.

 

[stingrae]

That actually de-escalated the fight. All of us started laughing, then an old women came out and threatened to call the cops so we all ran.

Your life sounds exciting. The closest I ever got to an actual fight was when some preteens (13) wouldn't shut up when my mom and I went to go see Divergent (don't judge). At one point I had my leg crossed and slammed my boot down on the floor in frustration, my mom thought I was going to charge them and threw herself over me like "No!"

Yeah, that's the closest I've ever gotten to fighting: someone thinking I was going to fight.

Though, I AM in college, that certainly opens up doors to skin my knuckles on some drunk's teeth...

 

[Ironbear24]

Your life sounds exciting. The closest I ever got to an actual fight was when some preteens (13) wouldn't shut up when my mom and I went to go see Divergent (don't judge). At one point I had my leg crossed and slammed my boot down on the floor in frustration, my mom thought I was going to charge them and threw herself over me like "No!"

Yeah, that's the closest I've ever gotten to fighting: someone thinking I was going to fight.

Though, I AM in college, that certainly opens up doors to skin my knuckles on some drunk's teeth...

90 something percent of my fights were all about stupid things, myself included being stupid.

Not being in many fights is a badge of honor. It means you are smarter.

 

[Ironbear24]

Divergent is also a good movie

 

[Bill Mattocks]

I got in a fight that stopped a Cheap Trick concert in Okinawa in 1983.

 

[Steve]

I'm a brand new white belt, and a guy (brown belt at the time) named crusher is sparring with me. Our coach says, "crusher. Take it easy and show him something." Crusher pulls guard, sweeps me into mount. And he says, "well. So, right now, you're losing."

 

[stingrae]

I got in a fight that stopped a Cheap Trick concert in Okinawa in 1983.

The stuff of legends.

 

[stingrae]

I'm a brand new white belt, and a guy (brown belt at the time) named crusher is sparring with me. Our coach says, "crusher. Take it easy and show him something." Crusher pulls guard, sweeps me into mount. And he says, "well. So, right now, you're losing."

Crusher? Is it an ironic nickname and he's actually really skinny or does the name sum up the guy pretty well?

 

[CB Jones]

Long time ago when I was on patrol. I had a a guy I was gonna arrest for DWI back up into the bottom of a ditch and tell me if I wanted to take him to jail come get him.....really?

Almost too drunk to stand up and you gonna give me the high ground...lol.

Didn't work out to well for him.

 

[Steve]

Crusher? Is it an ironic nickname and he's actually really skinny or does the name sum up the guy pretty well?

No, he's a power lifter. So, picture pacts like dinner plates and shoulders like bowling balls. And his thighs are literally as thick as my waist.

 

[stingrae]

No, he's a power lifter. So, picture pacts like dinner plates and shoulders like bowling balls. And his thighs are literally as thick as my waist.

I'm glad I don't go to your dojo then!

 

[Monkey Turned Wolf]

90 something percent of my fights were all about stupid things, myself included being stupid.

Not being in many fights is a badge of honor. It means you are smarter.

i'm agreeing with three parts of this.
1: 90% of your fights were about stupid things.
2: You were being stupid in them.
3: Not being in many fights, especially when you're a capable teen, means you (he) is smarter.

The reason I don't feel like I'm a dick agreeing to this is, 90% of my fights were about stupid things, and I was probably the one being most stupid in them.
Now that I'm more experienced I try to avoid fights, or at least not antagonize others. I'm smarter too, but it took fighting (heh) through a lot of stubbornness to get there.

 

[morlock]

I'm 5 feet 8 (well, 5' 7" 3/4, really). The only time I decided to piss off a guy was in high school and he was 6' 4" hehe. Smart move on my part! It escalated a bit and he pushed me. I just shoved his arms away and two teachers passed close by. One said "Hey, no fighting!". That was it. Best ending I could hope for I guess

 

[Steve]

When I was in the 6th grade, this 8th grader singled me out after school. He cam after me, and I got him in a head lock. I was hanging on with everything I had. I knew if I let him go he'd kick my butt. I knew it because he was saying it. He's all bent over and just saying, "you let me go and you're dead meat. I'm going to kick your ***." And so on.

I held on for, seemed like an hour, but probably only a minute or two. When my mom moves in, grabs my ear and steers me through the crowd. I acted like I was upset she came, but truth is, she saved my butt that day.

School in Texas. I don't miss it.

 

[Headhunter]

Your life sounds exciting. The closest I ever got to an actual fight was when some preteens (13) wouldn't shut up when my mom and I went to go see Divergent (don't judge). At one point I had my leg crossed and slammed my boot down on the floor in frustration, my mom thought I was going to charge them and threw herself over me like "No!"

Yeah, that's the closest I've ever gotten to fighting: someone thinking I was going to fight.

Though, I AM in college, that certainly opens up doors to skin my knuckles on some drunk's teeth...

Don't know if you're joking but if not that's a pretty silly thing to say...you're in college so what? Not everyone gets in fights in college. You should be proud you've never got in a fight. It's not weakness that fact makes you stronger.

 

[stingrae]

Don't know if you're joking but if not that's a pretty silly thing to say...you're in college so what? Not everyone gets in fights in college. You should be proud you've never got in a fight. It's not weakness that fact makes you stronger.

I was joking! It was an inside joke of sorts, someone was worried about me getting back to my place one night and I said "Don't worry, I can always" and the line about skinning my knuckles on a drunk guy's teeth.

There was quiet in the car for about two seconds before the guy burst out laughing, such a dark thing coming from a little thing like me. I was trying to sound assuring, but from his response I guess I failed.

 

[Buka]

Bruce Lee died while filming The Game of Death. It was released many years later (truly AWFUL movie) in 78 or so. But we really wanted to see it.

So twenty something of us went to the opening. All Martial Artists, many of whom were cops. I was working in an "overnight arrest unit for juvenile offenders" at the time. Worked the two A.M to ten A.M shift. All of us met there. (big parking lot)The movie started at 11 a.m in Boston's Chinatown district.

We jammed as many of us as we could into the fewest number of cars and drove to Boston. There were enough tickets left, but none together, mostly single or double seats, scattered throughout the theatre.

So we bought tickets and everyone just looked for seats, we were all scattered about. Three of the guys got to sit together right in the middle of the theatre. In front of them were five gang bangers, making a hell of a lot of noise and generally being A- holes. The three guys with us asked them, politely, to quiet down. You can figure how that went. The five gang bangers are now standing and pontificating and threatening and generally being gangsters.

The whole theatre is focused on these goings on. The rest of us are watching, sitting sideways in our seats, pretty much in a sprinter position, ready. Truth be told, our three guys could have probably handled these five gangsters. But the gangsters went over the seats at our three guys. And we swarmed. We were climbing over people and running, screaming, diving into them.

It was a beating of epic proportions. Heck we were even hitting ourselves trying to get these guys. Three were cuffed right here, mostly unconscious. The other two were dragged out by their nostrils. (seriously) The rest of the theatre was cheering and clapping like crazy.

Two of the guys had warrants on them, one had a Saturday Night special in a home made ankle holster, the others were carrying crystal meth and coke. The Boston cops were called and picked them up. It was pretty fricken awesome.

The movie sucked, oh did it suck. On of the worst movies I've seen to this day. Bruce Lee's face superimposed over whoever was playing the part in the aftermath remake.

But the experience with the gangbangers.....one of my absolute favorite memories. Kind of makes me swoon. (I know, I'm easy)