freezing up.

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overunder

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thanks mate, tis appreciated. run fu, thats quality! heard another one earlier nike jitsu. cheers, advice is much appreciated
 

girlbug2

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Hi Overunder,

One of the recurring themes I have heard on this forum is the person who took up a martial art because they were attacked at some time and they wanted to learn to defend themselves should it ever happen again. Many blackbelts in fact started because they had been bullied as kids. That is part of my personal story as well. I was the easy target who got picked on in grade school, and I felt like a victim most of my life afterwards until just a few years ago. I swear bullies are cowards and they can smell our fear, they will only attack the "easy" targets.

I can understand wanting to be friendly and polite, but there is a point where one has to learn to start drawing lines. In hindsight the boys who attacked you had bad intentions from the start and were just looking for an excuse to jump you. What's needed is to develop that internal "radar" if you will that helps you pick up on that kind of vibe before anybody even said anything to you, so that you would have known to keep moving on and not answered them. Definitely do not let them start to surround you or let anybody get close enough for a headbutt. No shame in running, especially from five attackers!

A basic self defense course could get you started on situational awareness for this kind of thing, but a few tips:

Never step out into a public area before you have scanned your surroundings first. You must be aware of where every other person is before you proceed.

Also you must be aware of places where people could likely be hiding behind -- posts, building corners, etc. Get into the habit of walking the wide way around them so it's harder for somebody to jump out and surprise/grab you.

No "plugged in" in public -- you need all your senses, including hearing.

The confidence you asked about earlier is a byproduct of training for self defense situations. Seriously, since I started training it has had an amazing effect on my own self confidence. As a female I am even more vulnerable to attacks and it is good to know that I could fight if I was forced to. It is even better to know that I can intelligently avoid being forced to fight by employing my situational awareness and letting my posture and body language display my confidence.

Here's my shameless plug -- try Krav Maga. If there isn't a KM studio in your area, get some kind of training, anything, that will teach you practical self defense. And then, practice!
 

just2kicku

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Put your arms out, that is your personal space. If someone comes at you with aggression and invades your space you have the right to protect yourself. Don't let someone get that close to you. Keep your space, but when forced to protect your space strike hard and first. The eyes, throat, groin or knees are always a target I look for. If you are going to fight you need to drop the first guy fast, and hard to get him out of the equation. No one should be a punching bag for a bunch of thugs!
 

sgtmac_46

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hello. recently ive been in a pretty bad situation. and im not happy with the way i reacted.
ill tell you about what happened, and im just wondering if anyones got any advice,because it would be GREATLY appreciated.
recently, well about a couple of month ago, just after i turned 19, i was walking round the back of work to my car to relax for during my lunch break.
i walk past a group of asian lads about my age, some older. there was 4 - 5 of them, and i looked at one and nodded as if to say hello. ( cause im a nice lad ) well any way i carried on walking, and one of them said to me . "who do you think you are looking at a paki like that?!" i was baffled and turnd round and said "wat are you on about mate?" and then he came up in my face and started givig it the big one. "who do you think you are, talking to a paki like that" and stuff like that, me being me i tried to diffuse the situation, and calm it down and i was asking why he was starting trouble. and hen afte a short while of this, he headbutte me, i was totaly unxpecting this. and i stumbled back, i was sent reeling by this, and then he started laying in to me, i was very angry at this, but i dint hit him back because he had his friends with him, and what its like now days is that his mates would jump in and id have got beaten in to the ground my all of them and seriously injured, or stabbed or something, so i just took the beating, whilst saying get off me man.
i wanted os bad to defend myself but i jsut kind of frozeup, i couldnt hit back. i was scared i admit it. but i aso feel i was quite brave as i didnt run away, but im dissapointed and annoyed i didnt fight back, feel kind of cowardly, even though i know im not, but has anyone got any advice, so next time i can just react and not just try and dodge punches, and then in the end just covering my head to defend it? sorry its so long i just kind of needed to get this offy chest, and ask for some advice,as i REALY dont want to freeze up like that ever again.
i dont do any martil arts, but i play rugby, and i do wieghts, but i ahve no confidence in my abilty to defend my self. thanks alot for taking the time to read this.

Nothing wrong with trying to defuse the situation, but you need to recognize the classic setup for a SUCKER PUNCH, which was what the getting in your face deal was all about.......he was building his courage to assault you!

A better line would be to put your hands out and step back.....'I don't wanna fight, but you need to leave ME the **** alone!' If he pushed the issue, i'd consider you perfectly justified in knocking the guy out and then running like hell until you could find

1) An improvised weapon (some kind of club)
and
2) A spot where his buddies couldn't do anything but come at you one by one, and start swinging for the fences!

If you do rugby and weights, you're in pretty good shape, that's more than half the battle......hit a boxing gym a couple days a week and go from there.


Remember, when a guy starts out with that kind of 'What are YOU looking at!' provocation, he's WANTING you to try to tell him you didn't do anything wrong.....the BEST thing you can do is look him in the eye like HE owe's YOU money, call him on HIS rudeness, raise your voice slightly and tell him to leave you the hell alone, or ELSE!

NEVER let such a person close the gap to punching range without a response......if he's trying to get that close to you, with that kind of attitude, it's only so he can HIT you......understand and accept that, and if he gets in punching range.....PUNCH HIM FIRST! (That's where the boxing comes in......if you like rugby, you'll like boxing. ;))
 

sgtmac_46

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sorry one more question and i will ask no more silly youthfull questions.
did how i react in the situation when i got beat, was i a coward for reacting like that?

NOPE! You just fell victim to the classic sucker punch (many of us have. ;)) You learned a hard but valuable lesson, and I suspect you'll know it when you see it again. ;)

Just hit the boxing (or whatever) gym and keep in your mind while you're working out HARD!
 

sgtmac_46

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Overunder , I think that it may help you to read some books by the British author Geoff Thompson I am a big fan of his . He is reputed to have been in something like 4 hundred fights

In his books he goes into a lot of depth in how to handle the adrenaline dump and things you should be doing in the pre fight stage like controlling the distance between you and your attacker with the use of a non threatening guard called " The Fence ".

Also make sure you join up to a reputable martial art school as soon as you possibly can so you can develop some self defence skills to back up your pre confrontation strategies .
Geoff Thompson IS the man!
 

sgtmac_46

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i've been at ma since i was a tyke. i grew up doing a tremendous amount of sparring, and got in quite a few street altercations as well, mostly in my teen years. nothing too serious...

not quite so active these days, but at one point i was pretty serious about it, and i actually got decent at a few things.

all in all, you will find that violence is not a very valuable skill. it is highly overrated. i can defend myself quite handily, but it is the absolute last option. i would much rather defuse the situation or use teh Run Fu.

martial arts training provides many benefits, the least of which is the ability to injure someone.

regards.
I'd have gotten in less fights if I could run faster!

I run like the mummy! ;)
 
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overunder

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thanks alot sgtmac_46 . its just in a situation like that i get intimidated too easily, but im too proud to back down, and im not a coward, but i freeze like deer in the headlights, i get immboilized by my own doubts about myself, and i cant seem to stop those thoughts, and they take hold, i know physically i can hold my own easily, im small and light but im strong. but i have very little confidence in myself. and plus i dont actualy like hurting people.
its a bit messed up, but i relay need to overcome my self doubt but its so hard. i find myself walking round now hoping for someone to start a fight so i can act differently to how i did. its mad but its sent my brain a bit mad
 

just2kicku

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Overunder, there's solid advice and good sense here from everyone. I wish you all the luck in your search for a system that's right for you. Whatever martial art you pick, focus on the basics. It is your foundation for everything. You don't build a structure starting with the roof, you need a solid foundation first. A person with good basics is hard to beat. Learn SD and hopefully you'll never have to use it. Good luck, Joe
 

sgtmac_46

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thanks alot sgtmac_46 . its just in a situation like that i get intimidated too easily, but im too proud to back down, and im not a coward, but i freeze like deer in the headlights, i get immboilized by my own doubts about myself, and i cant seem to stop those thoughts, and they take hold, i know physically i can hold my own easily, im small and light but im strong. but i have very little confidence in myself. and plus i dont actualy like hurting people.
its a bit messed up, but i relay need to overcome my self doubt but its so hard. i find myself walking round now hoping for someone to start a fight so i can act differently to how i did. its mad but its sent my brain a bit mad
That's a normal and human response.

I really do suggest the boxing.....for two reasons.....it IS very effective self-defense......AND, you'll get a chance to actually punch other people in a controlled environment which.......surprisingly enough, can make you a more confident and simultaneously more peaceful person.

You won't mind hurting other people if you need to, and be quite capable of doing it, but you won't walk around with something to prove to yourself either.

I think boxing is a valid first choice for someone already athletic like yourself looking to defend themselves.....and then add other arts from there. But a man who knows how to throw a decent punch is ALWAYS formidable in a street fight.

Boxing teaches you range, and you'll know exactly what to do if someone steps inside of yours! And since boxers punch each other a lot, you'll know when someone is going to throw a punch, and usually see it coming long before it lands.
 
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overunder

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thanks alot, for the advice sgtmac. there is thai boxing classes near my area. ive heard that is very good. i think i may start that, as i dont know any boxing clubs local to my area. whats your opinions on thai boxing or muay thai.
thanks alot to everyones advice it is very much appreciated
 

sgtmac_46

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thanks alot, for the advice sgtmac. there is thai boxing classes near my area. ive heard that is very good. i think i may start that, as i dont know any boxing clubs local to my area. whats your opinions on thai boxing or muay thai.
thanks alot to everyones advice it is very much appreciated

Muay Thai is EXCELLENT! You'll learn the principles of standard boxing, how to throw a basic punch, along with how to throw effective kicks, knees and elbows.......basically it's a complete standup fighting art, and you'll spar a lot, which is IMPORTANT!

Basically everything I said about boxing applies to Muay Thai and then some.....it really is a pretty complete system of standup striking.

And since you're a rugby and weight lifting kind of guy, you're probably well on your way to the kind of conditioning it demands.
 
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overunder

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excelent. i will deffonately get myself down there. they do classes on monday and thursdays. i willonly be able to do it once a week, as thursday clashes with rugby training. do you think once a week is enough?
 

sgtmac_46

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excelent. i will deffonately get myself down there. they do classes on monday and thursdays. i willonly be able to do it once a week, as thursday clashes with rugby training. do you think once a week is enough?
You just have to work hard when you're there....but to really get the most out of it i'd hang a bag somewhere and work out in my spare time throughout the week.....maybe 10 or 15 minutes here and there when you have a little down time. It's a great cardio workout, and if you run or do some other form of cardio, you might throw in shadow boxing and bag work as a cardio workout to do double duty.......and a good jump rope is ALWAYS RECOMMENDED!

Get your instruction in class, and make sure to hit your bag and stretch throughout the rest of the week, and you'll make progress pretty quick.

The bottom line with boxing and muay thai is that there aren't hundreds upon hundreds of techniques, there's actually a few ways of throwing a punch, a few ways of throwing a kick, a couple ways of throwing knees and elbows......the trick comes in mastering those few techniques through practice and learning to apply them in sparring.

You master the mechanics throw shadow boxing, bag training and pad drills (the bag training you can do on your own by hanging a bag somewhere convenient, and the shadow boxing drills you can do anywhere there is space).

Once you get a basic mastery, much of your class time will be pad drills and sparring, and once a week is adequate for sparring for what you're wanting it for.

Since you're already do conditioning training for other sports anyway, you're already fighting a good portion of the battle.......fighting really isn't that removed from rugby......it's all about bodies slamming together!
 

Sukerkin

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It may be okay to get started on just one day a week but like any physical activity dependant on muscle memory, the more you practise, the more instinctive it becomes.

I used to do three sessions a week in my Lau days and practise every day besides. If you 'take' to it, I think you'll soon find yourself making the time to train, as you would for any other activity that you enjoy and want to get better at.
 

sgtmac_46

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It may be okay to get started on just one day a week but like any physical activity dependant on muscle memory, the more you practise, the more instinctive it becomes.

I used to do three sessions a week in my Lau days and practise every day besides. If you 'take' to it, I think you'll soon find yourself making the time to train, as you would for any other activity that you enjoy and want to get better at.

EXACTLY! My first thought was 'I doubt you'll be happy just going one day a week!'.....Muay Thai is addictive for folks who enjoy high impact activities......and a rugby guy certainly qualifies. ;)
 
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overunder

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thanks alot! :D i will get my sorry **** down to that class this monday. cheers mate is very much appreciated
 

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