"Distort my wish" game.

[shesulsa]

I wish to be understand the Meaning of Life.

You discover the meaning of life ... the very moment you die.

I wish for the forgiveness of all beings.

 

[KenpoEMT]

I wish for the forgiveness of all beings.

Your wish is granted!

It begins, slowly at first, with the occasional old boyfriend stopping by and offering his heart felt forgiveness for all of the heart-ache that you left in your wake. Then distant family members start sending gracious emails and post cards forgiving you for all of your hidden and imagined misdeeds. Your immediate family members are inspired and offer their forgiveness as well...repeatedly. They begin having weekly family gatherings where very long and public lists are made of your emotional offenses and personal failings just so they can offer you their pardon (and enjoy a good BBQ!).
Pretty soon you are approached by strangers in the supermarket and at the gas station and in your place of employment. All of whom just positively gush their heart-felt forgiveness of your inability to "just get along" with the rest of humanity.
Days drag on into weeks, and weeks elongate into months. You are followed by a never ending line of well intentioned people who have traveled from all over the world just to meet you...and forgive you. Your intitial good natured acceptance of the forgiveness of people you have never met has long given way into rude, insulting, and violent behavior...which is always promptly forgiven.
You end up scouring the earth as the star of your own reality show (titled: "LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE!!!") searching for someone, anyone, who will just hold a good ol' fashioned grudge against you.
By the way shesulsa, I would like to offer my forgiveness in advance for your sincere desire to hunt me down and bonk me on the head :whip: for writing this!



I wish that I could use the force...you know, like Luke and ObiWan.

 

[Kreth]

Wish granted, although since you lack proper Jedi training, you're unable to do much more than accidentally change channels when you fart...

 

[Navarre]

Wish, Kreth! Wish!

 

[Kreth]

I wish for another wish

 

[Ceicei]

Except that each time he makes a wish, they don't turn into reality--just empty wishful wishing.

I wish my favorite shows would stop getting cancelled.

- Ceicei

 

[Sam]

your favorite shows stop getting canceled... They just are on the pay-per-view channels and you have to pay 29.95 every episode.

I wish I could stop crushing on innapropriate people

 

[Touch Of Death]

your favorite shows stop getting canceled... They just are on the pay-per-view channels and you have to pay 29.95 every episode.

I wish I could stop crushing on innapropriate people

You then fall in love with the nerd of your school and have supernerds for children.


I wish I could speak seven languages.
Sean

 

[bluemtn]

Wish granted. You can speak 7 languages, but they are all considered "dead" languages, and you can't speak a word of English. Now, no one can understand you. You are about to be carried off to the local mental institution as you're screaming obsenities in some odd language that is purely made of tongue clicking.



I wish I had a house elf (like from Harry Potter book) to do all of my household chores.

 

[Ceicei]

I wish I had a house elf (like from Harry Potter book) to do all of my household chores.

Wish granted. One of your friends give your house elf one of your belongings and freed the elf from doing your chores.

I wish my car had more power.

 

[KenpoEMT]

I wish my car had more power.

Your wish is granted!

Tim the Tool-man Taylor appears out of thin air to give your car...MORE POWER!!!
Like every episode of the hit tv show Home Improvement, Tim's efforts to give your car more power end in fire, pain, and the total destruction of your poor little vehicle.

I wish that the tv show, "Friends" would not have been cancelled.

 

[Touch Of Death]

Your wish is granted!

Tim the Tool-man Taylor appears out of thin air to give your car...MORE POWER!!!
Like every episode of the hit tv show Home Improvement, Tim's efforts to give your car more power end in fire, pain, and the total destruction of your poor little vehicle.

I wish that the tv show, "Friends" would not have been cancelled.

Without warning NBC brings the show back. However the characters all die one by one and they must replace the original actors with the no-talent children of studio executives. One starts a religious cult, another gets an eating disoder, and we vote one of them to congress. This freshman then starts WWIII as a business venture, to increase the sale of an energy softdrink known to cause cancer in Kangaroo Rats, but not sewer rats... its all very complicated.

I wish Led Zepp would reform.
Sean

 

[Kreth]

I wish Led Zepp would reform.
Sean

Wish granted. However, concerts are delayed and in some cases cancelled due to protests over Led Zeppelin having a cadaver as a drummer.

I wish pop music didn't suck.

 

[Sam]

You then fall in love with the nerd of your school and have supernerds for children.

If I was in love why would I care? Thus, how is my wish distorted?

 

[Navarre]

I agree. What's wrong with nerds?

I wish pop music didn't suck.

Pop music becomes the dominant form of social expression in the world. Hilary Duff is elected Supreme Empress. The world commits mass suicide.

I wish I was an Olympic level athlete and a superhero (like Captain America).

 

[Touch Of Death]

If I was in love why would I care? Thus, how is my wish distorted?

Your supernerd children grow up to create the nastiest computer virus known to man. Once implimented the machines take over, we are all made in to slaves by the Omni computer created by yet another of your (tape on the glasses) offspring. Why... why.. WHY!
Sean

 

[someguy]

Your an olymic level athlet and a super hero but this being reality your only aren't put in some easily escaped situation when you are beaten. You just die. But in there being a super hero there are also super villans so now the world contends with super villans with out a super hero.
I want a car.

 

[Navarre]

You get a car. It's a 1972 Chevy Gremlin.

It's lime green with an 8-track stereo. It's only missing a few essentials, like an engine.

I wish I was with you right now (whoever the respondant is). We'd hang out together.

 

[Sam]

We're hanging out. Unfortunately, I'm at work and get in trouble for not working, so I get fired and you take my job. Now YOUR stuck answering idiots emails all day and putting thousands of numbers in spreadsheet documents for a boss who doesnt understand what the numbers mean anyway, cuz its really his wife whos running the show. and, oh, you only work two days a week.

I wish my whole body wasn't sore.

 

[Touch Of Death]

We're hanging out. Unfortunately, I'm at work and get in trouble for not working, so I get fired and you take my job. Now YOUR stuck answering idiots emails all day and putting thousands of numbers in spreadsheet documents for a boss who doesnt understand what the numbers mean anyway, cuz its really his wife whos running the show. and, oh, you only work two days a week.

I wish my whole body wasn't sore.

You learn from years of sitting in the lotus position to concentrate all that pain into a nice life long migraine headache. Your body feels relatively painless, until the the Killer bees come.

I wish my daughter would use the potty.
Sean