Dismissed from a Taekwondo club, what to do?

[Rodger28]

About 3 years ago I was a red belt and went into training but was loud and behaving inappropriate at front reception with wife of the head of the club 7 or 8th dan master, he's the owner of the club and the highest instructor. I was being aggressive and saying different thing with a very high tone. Then an instructor came out of the training and bowed to me and said something like dismissed. That 7th or 8th dan highest instructor rang my dad and said the people in training found me really loud and something else. And then later I rang him to say sorry but he said that you can't come back to training or something like it will be dangerous for myself to continue training and I shouldn't train. I haven't done any trading or physical activity for 3 years I think, just wondering what to do, and I'm thinking of joining a martial arts club but I have a weak feeling and wanted to continue the training but it's been 3 years.

 

[drop bear]

go to a different club.

shut up and train.

 

[TrueJim]

Or if you want to return to the same club, apologize and offer to restart at white belt. An apology isn't something that you say, it's something that you do.

 

[Headhunter]

Either train or don't nothing anything we say will make any difference. Also try not to act like a total idiot

 

[Bill Mattocks]

About 3 years ago I was a red belt and went into training but was loud and behaving inappropriate at front reception with wife of the head of the club 7 or 8th dan master, he's the owner of the club and the highest instructor. I was being aggressive and saying different thing with a very high tone. Then an instructor came out of the training and bowed to me and said something like dismissed. That 7th or 8th dan highest instructor rang my dad and said the people in training found me really loud and something else. And then later I rang him to say sorry but he said that you can't come back to training or something like it will be dangerous for myself to continue training and I shouldn't train. I haven't done any trading or physical activity for 3 years I think, just wondering what to do, and I'm thinking of joining a martial arts club but I have a weak feeling and wanted to continue the training but it's been 3 years.

People make mistakes. The fact that you accept that is a good sign. The question whether or not you have changed your behavior. If you wish to return to your old club, I would suggest writing a letter. If they accept you back, go with humility and redeem yourself through correct behavior and hard work. If they do not, seek training elsewhere, but do not hide your past. Get in front of it and make sure any group you may train with knows about the circumstances of your prior dismissal. Be an adult and own up to your previous behavior. Best of luck to you!

 

[jobo]

About 3 years ago I was a red belt and went into training but was loud and behaving inappropriate at front reception with wife of the head of the club 7 or 8th dan master, he's the owner of the club and the highest instructor. I was being aggressive and saying different thing with a very high tone. Then an instructor came out of the training and bowed to me and said something like dismissed. That 7th or 8th dan highest instructor rang my dad and said the people in training found me really loud and something else. And then later I rang him to say sorry but he said that you can't come back to training or something like it will be dangerous for myself to continue training and I shouldn't train. I haven't done any trading or physical activity for 3 years I think, just wondering what to do, and I'm thinking of joining a martial arts club but I have a weak feeling and wanted to continue the training but it's been 3 years.

join another club?????? if they don't want you at that one over a minor disagreement then don't go groveling to them

 

[JowGaWolf]

About 3 years ago I was a red belt and went into training but was loud and behaving inappropriate at front reception with wife of the head of the club 7 or 8th dan master, he's the owner of the club and the highest instructor. I was being aggressive and saying different thing with a very high tone. Then an instructor came out of the training and bowed to me and said something like dismissed. That 7th or 8th dan highest instructor rang my dad and said the people in training found me really loud and something else. And then later I rang him to say sorry but he said that you can't come back to training or something like it will be dangerous for myself to continue training and I shouldn't train. I haven't done any trading or physical activity for 3 years I think, just wondering what to do, and I'm thinking of joining a martial arts club but I have a weak feeling and wanted to continue the training but it's been 3 years.

If you haven't learned from your lesson, then first learn from what you did. If you don't learn from that then it won't matter where you train because you will keep making the same mistake. Once you understand why what you did was wrong then don't make the same mistake again. Let the experience make you a better person.

Don't get into anymore loud discussions with the wife of the head instructor. lol People get protective about their wives.

 

[WaterGal]

People make mistakes. The fact that you accept that is a good sign. The question whether or not you have changed your behavior. If you wish to return to your old club, I would suggest writing a letter. If they accept you back, go with humility and redeem yourself through correct behavior and hard work. If they do not, seek training elsewhere, but do not hide your past. Get in front of it and make sure any group you may train with knows about the circumstances of your prior dismissal. Be an adult and own up to your previous behavior. Best of luck to you!

I agree with this advice. I think if someone came to our school and said, "I did Taekwondo for a few years when I was younger, but I was kind of an angry guy back then, and said some things I shouldn't have and was asked to leave that school. But I've grown up a lot since then and learned how to handle my emotions better, and now would like to get started with Taekwondo again" - we'd give them a chance. People can change, as long as they're honest with themselves about their own behavior.

 

[KangTsai]

Join another club I guess. Whether or not you tell anybody there/they care is up to you/them.

 

[DaveB]

Your past is nobody's business but your own.
Your old instructor didn't accept your apology then so have some self respect and move on.
Find somewhere else and behave when you get there.

 

[Instructor]

I rarely ever reply to threads anymore because I find once I've gotten to them other people have already said what I would have said and said it better. Good job folks!

 

[Rodger28]

I feel uncomfortable in doing any communications with previous club as they are black belts more higher rank then me. Also in just a few days ago I signed up my self to a 3 day healing welness course which in the contract says it has a dandger in 1/1000 suicide and provided with my mental condition that I have and it also depicts the same medication I'm taking. It's called landmark forum I'm just wondering could this danger be related to me being untrained as red belt in Taekwondo, the contract says that if you do their course it's not recommended by their doctors that you go in with psychological condition, I don't know how serious this is Gina get but I was only wanting to use it as seminar for more information.

 

[TrueJim]

Landmark Forum is the new name for EST. It's been around since 1971. Its basic lesson is "stop getting in your own way."

In other words, many of the problems that we encounter in life are due to situations that we've put ourselves in. Your example with your previous taekwondo school is a perfect example: you previously behaved inappropriately, and now that's created an obstacle for you. Landmark would encourage you to then ask: are you still behaving inappropriately? Is this still creating problems for you?

It's not dissimilar to other life-coaching seminars like Tony Robbins or the advice of Dr. Phil, "Stop getting in your own way -- the things you think you can't do in life are just things that you don't want to do -- but you can do them!" The difference is that Landmark has the reputation of being much more brutal about it. Like...they bully you into admitting your many ongoing mistakes. Apparently for some people, this is beneficial.

I've never been to Landmark, but I know a number of people who have, and they all had positive experiences overall. From what I've heard though, a person's experience can vary widely depending on who they get as their Landmark coach. If you get a jerk, expect a bad experience.

As I understand it, Landmark won't be the "seminar for more information" that you're looking for. They're going to bully and badger you. It's nothing personal: that's just their technique for getting results. If you're not comfortable with that, I wouldn't go. Unfortunately, Landmark doesn't offer refunds except where they're required to by law, so if you've already paid, that money is probably gone.

Here's my two cents: You say, "I feel uncomfortable in doing any communications with previous club..." That may actually a good reason why you SHOULD get in touch with your old club. Imagine if you went back, apologized and explained that you're a more mature person now, and they welcomed you back with open arms. What a nice bit of closure that would be! My advice: skip Landmark and just go back to your old club with your new positive, mature attitude.

 

[Gerry Seymour]

Here's my two cents: You say, "I feel uncomfortable in doing any communications with previous club..." That may actually a good reason why you SHOULD get in touch with your old club. Imagine if you went back, apologized and explained that you're a more mature person now, and they welcomed you back with open arms. What a nice bit of closure that would be! My advice: skip Landmark and just go back to your old club with your new positive, mature attitude.

@Rodger28 I'll go even a step further on Jim's suggestion here. I think it's worth doing, even if there's no chance of them taking you back. It would be good for you to go in, respectfully apologize, acknowledge that they were probably right to terminate your training then, tell them how you've changed because of that experience. Then, let them know you'd like to come back if they are willing to give you another chance, but that you understand if they are not willing to do so.

And mean it. Really. If they don't invite you back, be okay with that. If you've matured, their decision is not a reflection of the person you are today, but of that immature person you were then. You've acknowledged you behaved poorly, so let it go. If they invite you back, go back and be willing to start wherever they ask (including going back to the beginning). And if they don't, you'll know you really apologized and thanked them for the training you had back then (which apparently had a significant impact upon you), and you can move on to your next training.

 

[JP3]

go to a different club.

shut up and train.

Coming into the thread late to find that Drop's said everything that needs saying.

 

[Gwai Lo Dan]

Rodger28,
It sounds like more than anything, the post is "what not to do". Regardless of what school you attend (old or new), it seems you know to show up regularly, smile, be polite, and try. Don't show up periodically, have a bad attitude, be rude, and not try.

 

[Martial D]

I will be honest , and not trying to be mean or anything.
from your story I am surprised you got to red belt in the first place.
in a proper martial arts school discipline, respect and ettiquete are of the utmost importance.
if anyone ever raised their voice or disrespected anyone in any of the places I trained at, my instructors would have expelled them immediately and without a second thought or second chances.

you can go to a new place to train but keep your humility and always respect everyone that trains with you, not only the teachers. martial arts are discipline of the body and mind. otherwise its justbrawling. in which case you can just do mma.

You've obviously never trained in mma if you think it's 'just brawling'

 

[Martial D]

stating something "is obvious" regarding a person you do not know anything about, gives an impression of immaturity.

Obviously you feel insulted for some weird reason when someone says something negative about MMA.
You are wrong, I have been training martial arts for 27 years, and I do train MMA, but my teacher is a Kyokushin black belt and Sambo instructor. so he has a Martial artists mentality.
He makes sure that everyone follows rules of ethics and behavior inside and outside the Dojo.

I dont know why you take it personally, the fact is that many MMA places are full of guys who just want to get into fights. so when i say it's just brawling, I refer to the mental aspect of it, not the technical aspect.

MMA teaches martial arts techniques, not martial arts etiquette and philosophy. do you disagree with that as well? and by MMA I do not mean JiuJitsu schools, I mean MMA gyms where all they do is learn is how to fight without any of the martial arts codes.

of course there are some MMA teachers who are the exception, but it's more common than not that MMA gyms only dedicate themselves to teaching how to fight and not care what the students do outside of the gym. thus many MMA guys are just brawlers learning martial arts techniques.

The level of irony of you talking about an "impression of immaturity", and then proceeding to write 4 paragraphs trying to pidgeonhole an entire discipline practiced by millions worldwide with your banal aspersions, is right off the charts.

Of the mma gyms I have trained in/visited, I have found the exact opposite is true. The main difference is mma instructors are generally more approachable and treat you as an equal, rather than hide aloofly behind belt rankings that generally signify absolutely nothing about your actual fighting skill.

 

[Tez3]

I dont know why you take it personally, the fact is that many MMA places are full of guys who just want to get into fights.

He wasn't taking it 'personally' whatever you think that means. he replied to your post.

I mean MMA gyms where all they do is learn is how to fight without any of the martial arts codes.

I know a good many places that teach TMA and also don't have any 'codes'. In MMA gyms, there is respect for others' and an innate sense of fair play and sportsmanship. As Martial D said you can't have actually trained MMA or really got to know any MMAers. Most martial arts places of any description don't act as moral arbiters of who does what outside training. You are tarring people with the same brush that you have conjured out of your perception of something you obviously feel superior to, and no, I'm not taking this personally. Just telling you how it really is.

Of the mma gyms I have trained in/visited, I have found the exact opposite is true. The main difference is mma instructors are generally more approachable and treat you as an equal, rather than hide aloofly behind belt rankings that generally signify absolutely nothing about your actual fighting skill.

Exactly.

 

[Rodger28]

I am from a Russian background and it's in my culture or a way of life back in Russia that when you go to a shop and ask for help but the salesman says fuk off to you and when approached with American Express he smiles back welcome to mafia 90's gangster corruption 1 million dollar oil refinery worth billions, so when I was being rude in Taekwondo class I was being my self and I can kill a Black belt going by the word of my instructor it's not the belt but how hard you train.