Sifu is pissed off.

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Many police officers have their hands tied in Europe. No police officer can push, kick or strike and it don't matter if the police officer is getting beaten up.

What on earth are you talking about? You clearly have absolutely no idea of what police officers in Europe are like, many would make the US police look like nannies. Most of them are armed, none of them are afraid to use force even when you would think it's not justified. You are making this all up. In the UK the police are actually very robust, come across and try to beat a police officer up, you'll find out for yourself. We have two police forces here that have always been permanently armed, the PSNI and the Ministry of Defence Police, others are armed as and when needed. the laws of self defence here are also very clear, you can defend yourself using reasonable force, this includes using a weapon and pre-emptive strikes if in fear of your life. If the woman you talk about had shot her husband in self defence and she was licensed to carry a weapon here ( yes many are funnily enough) she would not be charged with murder, if the weapon was illegal she would most likely be charged with having that and perhaps manslaughter but would be given a suspended sentence showing that the court understood the circumstances.
Stop making statements that you clearly have no idea about, you are making them up.
 
You can't press charges because you got a bruised ego. There was no damage done to him other than hurt pride.
Man I was done commenting on this thread because it was pointless but that comment is stupid of course he can press charges you used your martial art training on someone and not in self defence. It's no different if I walk up to someone and slap them it may not cause any damage but it's still assault
 
My next crime? Look I know you think I'm a thug but there wont be a next crime. First of all what I did wasn't even a crime to begin with, we both agreed to do it. By that definition a boxer can can press charges against another boxer for assault since he intentionally harmed him.
Wow....boxing is a sport that has contracts, medical professionals commissions, tests not just a drunk guy saying sure ill fight you.
 
At the end of the day looking at your posts now you've learnt nothing from happened. Nothing from the advice that's been given you show no remorse for what you did and clearly believe what you did was right and I'm sure this is going to happen again and I hope your instructor kicks you out because martial arts are not for you now I'm done commenting on this pointless thread.
 
Man I was done commenting on this thread because it was pointless but that comment is stupid of course he can press charges you used your martial art training on someone and not in self defence. It's no different if I walk up to someone and slap them it may not cause any damage but it's still assault

Hard to actually prove in a court though. And do if you go to the police with an "i got slapped" statement you dont get very far.

And you can't really press charges if the police cant be bothered.

If you remember my mate who got stabbed. To much effort to persue. Guy got sent on his way.

This is separate to whether you should be slapping people. Which is generally to be avoided.
 
Man I was done commenting on this thread because it was pointless but that comment is stupid of course he can press charges you used your martial art training on someone and not in self defence. It's no different if I walk up to someone and slap them it may not cause any damage but it's still assault

So where you live the cops will charge him for having a mutually agreed bout that may end with minor bruises and broken pride for both?

Touchy cops. I think if anything like that came to cops attention where I live they would go there if they need to help stop the fight, otherwise they will just tell you to talk to insurance company if you need to visit a doctor.

All else it was a conflict where both are deemed equally guilty. Charging both would serve no value unless a third party got affected by the bout and wants to press charges. This of course does not quit you from responsibility. On the contruary you are very much demanded to assure your opponent does not suffer any major injuries.

Problem is not with the cops, it is with his family, himself, his vision of pride and respect. And the fact that question of morale comes in to play since knowing you will win makes you a bully using physical force to injure another persons self confidence or pride to strengthen your own.
 
Geez, you guys are taking this whole situation way too far in my opinion. I see this event as no different to any other friendly sparring match. Assault? Excessive use of force? Domestic violence? From what I've read of the event none of this applies and quite frankly if the police did get involved chances are they will just tell you to piss off and stop wasting their time. Even hypothetically the scenario of getting the police involved is ridiculous.

Here's a story for you. When I was working out in Turkey I managed to piss someone off who then grabbed me by the throat. I waited until I was near to unconsciousness before I smacked him around the head, breaking his grip and releasing myself. He went to the police to report me for hitting him. The police brought us both in, got our statements then basically told us to piss off and not waste their time on something like this again. And that was that. With so many psychopaths with guns running around shooting whoever the hell they want, who the hell cares about some twat who got his *** handed to him in a friendly wrestling match? The police aren't going to care, and if you take it to court chances are they will just fine you for wasting their time on such a ridiculous case.
 
Geez, you guys are taking this whole situation way too far in my opinion. I see this event as no different to any other friendly sparring match. Assault? Excessive use of force? Domestic violence? From what I've read of the event none of this applies and quite frankly if the police did get involved chances are they will just tell you to piss off and stop wasting their time. Even hypothetically the scenario of getting the police involved is ridiculous.

Here's a story for you. When I was working out in Turkey I managed to piss someone off who then grabbed me by the throat. I waited until I was near to unconsciousness before I smacked him around the head, breaking his grip and releasing myself. He went to the police to report me for hitting him. The police brought us both in, got our statements then basically told us to piss off and not waste their time on something like this again. And that was that. With so many psychopaths with guns running around shooting whoever the hell they want, who the hell cares about some twat who got his *** handed to him in a friendly wrestling match? The police aren't going to care, and if you take it to court chances are they will just fine you for wasting their time on such a ridiculous case.
That's the point it wasnt friendly they don't like each other and ironbear even had to tell us before it all happened that he was going to punch him multiple times in the face for his ego
 
no different to any other friendly sparring match

If this was your idea of 'friendly' then I really don't want to see what you think of as unfriendly. It really wasn't friendly, kenpoguy is correct, Ironbear was going to beat him up until someone here suggested a wrestling match instead, that may or may not have been a good idea, walking away would have been better.

Even hypothetically the scenario of getting the police involved is ridiculous.

No, The situation had the potential to get very nasty, it wasn't friendly and could have turned into a situation where the police would have been called whether for assault, domestic violence or breach of the peace etc. When tempers get frayed and the relationship between people including relatives breaks down there is a likelihood of damage being done both to people and property. I think you need to read the posts In the thread where ironbear talks about it rather than this one which is about consequences.
 
Look man. I am used to people not liking me, it really means nothing to me. No feelings hurt, nothing off my back. Calling me a kid isn't going to bother me, after all to you, I could very well be a kid and it seems that is the case.

Most of us aren't when speaking generically. You are never going to get all people to like you, but I do hope most people like me. But they have to like me on my own terms. And part of that is that I first have to like myself. I worry that you don't like yourself yet, but aren't sure if you (1) can change, and (2) if you really want to change to what you know is right. It kind of seems you wish to stay in familiar territory rather than face the fear of change in yourself

Lucky for me, what do kids do? They grow up and become adults. I will continue to my martial arts training because I enjoy martial arts and that will help me come into my own as it has before.

I think you need to give that a lot of thought. What is the help that you hope MA will give you?

I posted this becuase I wanted to admit to the forum that you all were right. I made mistakes and they were made for stupid reasons. If people choose to give me give me flack or act like they are a figurehead of morality then fine, honestly it's a forum and why would I bother even posting anything if I could be offended by different opinions?

Sorry, it didn't come across to me that way.

As for the getting angry at my sifu part, I was getting hit pretty hard, that's a natural reaction to get frustrated. In my mind I was thinking "man I'd really like to deck this guy right now." But guess what? I didn't do that for a number of reasons, one because he was in the right and two I asked for it.

Sorry, this seems to me to be an attempt to justify yourself even when you know your prior actions were wrong. Look inside yourself, even in those dark uncomfortable places where you don't like yourself.

Believe it or not I did learn from this, I won't be sparring or fighting wig anyone unless my life or my loved ones are threatened, and I won't spar unless requested to. No more picking sparring matches or fights with people.

I hope you did learn. And not just that you wish to avoid in the immediate future what got you where you are, until you can think of a way to get back to that erroneous comfort level.


I do know what my problems are. I constantly feel like what I do is never good enough, that's low self-esteem. I constantly seek positive reinforcement from others to help my self esteem problem. (Hence the sparring and fights)

I know it sounds trite, but you first have to esteem yourself. We all want most people to like us. But that is not only unrealistic, but unhealthy. Some people aren't worth being liked by, or are actually detrimental to our reputations and self image. When you really like what you see in yourself, then those few who don't like you will not be important. Again, you have to like yourself first though, to be able to make that assessment.

My ego is large and at the same time fragile, I constantly do things to make people think I am strong and tough. Things such as lift weights, during the busiest gym hours so the more people can see how strong I am. I work out on the heavy bag when there are many people in there for the same reasons.

Your ego does seem large. But it is your self esteem that is fragile. You pay lip service to knowing that in the next paragraph.

As a result of the ego problem which stems from low self esteem I give people too much power over me. They can basically influence how I feel by calling me weak ect. In short I care way too much about what other people think regarding my abilities when I shouldn't care at all.

Well, it is OK to care, up to a point. How do you give people power over you? Or do you misunderstand how to feel good about yourself, and try to please everybody all the time, in different meaningless ways? People's words can indeed hurt, and the more you doubt yourself, the more power they will try to exert. Do you see they have their own problems? They try to build themselves up at your expense. If you know your worth, they can't do that.

Pretty much everything I do is for other people's opinions and first impressions. Wearing tight shirts, wearing sleeveless shirts, flexing too much. The things I do should not be for other people but for myself.

So what are you going to do about that?

Fight with my uncle and beat him in a Judo match in front of my family, key term, in front of family. If they weren't there at all I probably wouldn't even had done it in the first place. Get in a fight with some douche a party, again, probably would have done nothing if it didn't threaten my ego which must be enormously awesome.

To me that sounds like you aren't feeling wrong, or at least minimally wrong, mostly I interpret you to be trying to shift blame.

I get it, if you don't believe I get it simply because I am not angry, then I don't know what to tell you.

I want to say that is nice, not being angry. But you have displayed such anger at others in your dojo and your family, I don't think I can agree with you.

I have avoided posting, and perhaps I should continue that. But I do believe along with you hoping we will tell you how good you are and your actions are OK, I think I detect some real willingness to be honest with yourself. If I am correct, keep working on that.

But you really need to find good within yourself. None of us are perfect; we all make mistakes in our lives. But we must be able to admit, at least to ourselves, when we are wrong in our actions; big wrongs, little wrongs, all are wrongs. And we mostly know what society and/or our religion considers right and wrong. If we can admit to those around us, and especially those we have wronged, that we were wrong, so much the better. I know, easier said than done, but easier done when we know ourselves and our shortcomings.

You are on a good path to come here, but don't come here to try and minimize wrongs you have done. Most of us have already done those kind of things and managed to get above them. For me, I certainly have, and am not proud of some things I have done. I do feel good about progress I have made in being more mature, and not quick to do wrong. You can too.

But it doesn't come easy or natural for many people. You first have to see yourself as you are, then decide how you want to be, then seriously work toward that goal.
 
No I am actually trying to help you. You have no clue how often in a fight, when the cops show up, it's not necessarily the person who "started it" that is the only one locked up. They first person usually put in cuffs? The guy winning/not bleeding. Then MAYBE a neutral third party has the integrity to step forward and clear him. If it is a he said/she said game the guy winning/not bleeding goes to jail.

Example, Saturday night, we had a HUGE brawl at a local banquet hall (we had to call in 5 surrounding PDs for manpower). We hooked a bunch of people. One of them was actually a victim but due to his demeanor and other circumstances he was a suspect as far as we were concerned, until a 60 odd year old women, whose Grand Kids I used to play with when I did community policing and who is (incidentally) one of the nicest ladies on earth, ran up to me and told me the guy was only trying to defend his 16 daughter from getting struck. If that lady hadn't been there that guy would have gone to the station because we had no one impartial to vouch for him.

The law doesn't care about what is known only what can be proved and if it is can be proven you beat a guy, and it can't be proven it was consensual or self defense you get booked.

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So based on what you said, it sounds like if you defend yourself and win you get in trouble.
 
So based on what you said, it sounds like if you defend yourself and win you get in trouble.

This is pretty much why I decided to only take martial arts for sport. If you ever use it in self defense you pretty much get shamed for doing it because you are supposed to move mountains to avoid the fight at all costs.

In my opinion if someone attacks you it's on and they have no right to complain if they get beat up.
 
This is pretty much why I decided to only take martial arts for sport. If you ever use it in self defense you pretty much get shamed for doing it because you are supposed to move mountains to avoid the fight at all costs.

In my opinion if someone attacks you it's on and they have no right to complain if they get beat up.

Do you see how you are slipping back into dark territory?

You have not taken MA just for sport, as proven by how you have used it up to this point.

If someone attacks you there is no shame in defending yourself. But how about things that lead up to that attack. You make no mention of how you might prevent the attack, from talking to walking away. Did you just forget to say that, or do you wish to be attacked so you can show your prowess?

And you have complained about your sifu beating you up. Do you think he had no right, when you put his school name at risk?
 
Do you see how you are slipping back into dark territory?

You have not taken MA just for sport, as proven by how you have used it up to this point.

If someone attacks you there is no shame in defending yourself. But how about things that lead up to that attack. You make no mention of how you might prevent the attack, from talking to walking away. Did you just forget to say that, or do you wish to be attacked so you can show your prowess?

And you have complained about your sifu beating you up. Do you think he had no right, when you put his school name at risk?

He was in the right. How often will you be attacked in public to where you need to spend hours upon hours training? Especially for something that will never happen. At least sport is more likely to happen than a self defense situation that can't be solved by walking/ running away or talking your way out of it.
 
So based on what you said, it sounds like if you defend yourself and win you get in trouble.
No, only if the force appears disproportional. Somewhere else in this thread our OP doesn't have a scratch, the other guy has like a broken nose and broken glasses. Now if no one else at that party steps up and says it was self defense, or consensual, and the guy bleeding says "I have been assaulted" what does the evidence tells us? The Police aren't fact finders. Their job is to simply ask "is their probable cause to believe this person committed a crime". The Judges are the fact finders, determining if such cases proceed and then later if it results in a conviction.

This is why I tell people, "don't let your pride get in the way. If you can walk away walk away." Don't care about the fact that, at the time, our OP was concerned girls would think he was a chump, or that the other guys buddies my call ya a wimp or coward. Self defense is to save yourself from Injury, not to save face.

Then you have the fact that many places make unsanctioned mutual fights illegal.

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Man I was done commenting on this thread because it was pointless but that comment is stupid of course he can press charges you used your martial art training on someone and not in self defence. It's no different if I walk up to someone and slap them it may not cause any damage but it's still assault

Sure. I now understand laws protect cowards. I'll now in general treat everyone like they are looking for a reason to press charges.
 
Let me try to help out:

"Swole" is part of the language of a certain subspecies of male gym dwellers in the US, commonly referred to as "Bros" or "Brahs". Since you are linguistically inclined, to the best of my knowledge the term "swole" derives from being swollen aka "pumped up" after lifting weights.

As for the Bro subspecies, some commonly found characteristics are:

-skinny legs, because leg day sucks
-doing curls in the squat rack because one cannot be bothered to bend down and pick the weight off the floor.
-dropping weights from hip or shoulder height to the floor because one is so swole from the exertion that one cannot be bothered to bend down to lower them.
-loading huge amounts of weight onto the bar so the exercise requires a spotter. The spotter is expected to lift at least 67.5% of the weight.
-once the weight is sucessfully lifted in such manner, Bros engage in a testosterone fueled celebration ritual that involves grunts, screams, fist pumps, chest bumps.....and elicits head shakes from female gym dwellers which are taken as signs of admiration.

I would just love to point out the fact someone voted this as informative hahaha :D
 
Sure. I now understand laws protect cowards. I'll now in general treat everyone like they are looking for a reason to press charges.
No it punishes thugs and bullies and protects decent people and yeah when it comes to fighting yeah that's exactly what you should do if someone attacks put them as quick as you can then get out of there if the guys on the ground not getting up don't keep going as soon as he hits the floor run away
 
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Also

Show him you want to be there. Apologize, admit you were wrong, and if he still doesn't want you back, beg for it. Show up to class and show him you're still interested even if he doesn't let you participate. In my opinion this will earn your respect back, everyone tell me what they think
 
No it punishes thugs and bullies and protects decent people

Lol there are more holes in that than Swiss cheese. From what I read here its easily able to be manipulated and bastardized. It's honestly best to just avoid all contact with people in general.
 
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