You Know You've Been In the Martial Arts Too Long When...

[Sarah]

Can anyone add to these:

* you say to the salesman in the store, "Nice pants, but I don't thinkI can kick in them."

* when you want to say "I'm sorry" and involuntarily bow.

* Instead of walking around a shop, you practice pivoting,sweeps, stances and kicks.

* You check to see if the shoe has a sufficiently hard striking surface and whether it protects the toes well

* When you hit your head on a low doorway or ceiling and kick it in anger and damage it.

* When The *left* side of the bathrobe goes on top...."

* when you're practicing your arm blocks while driving down the highway,notice someone in another car staring at you, and suddenly turn your block into vigorously fanning away an imaginary fly

* when you use various strikes to turn lights off and on;

* Put on your clothing with kicks, thrusts, and punches

* open and close doors with spinning kicks

* find yourself idly doing iaido and kenjitsu moves with the plastic knives at the fast food place

* can't walk by anybody else from your school without casually exchanging a flurry of mock strikes and kicks

* find yourself practicing bo staff techniques in miniature with your pencil during dull meetings

* try to backfist the correct floor button on the inside of the elevator,based on your memory of the button's location, before you get in far enough to see it

* notice you never stand with your arms crossed or your hands in your pockets

* tend to keep at least one flavour of martial arts weapon close at hand by your bed when you sleep

* buy shoes either because they're particularly flexible or have steel toes

* have begun to master the reflex to commit a very messy homicide when,directly after someone finds out you practice martial arts, they immediately ask "Are you a Black Belt ???"

* Have the Urge to bow every time I enter or leave a room.

* When you call your professors/Boss 'sensei'.

* When standing in line you find yourself practicing some stance from your art

* When you bow going into and out of the bathroom

* When you don't use any tools while splitting firewood.

* When you are introduced to someone and you bow to greet them.

 

[ThatWasAKick]

LOL Okay, this is fun...let's see...

When you open your closet door and panic block the shirt that threatened you.

When you ask your husband to mount you and he says, "Not tonight, Honey, I have a headache."

When everyone in the dentist office is staring at you because you're making funny hand movements in the air - and you don't care because you're used to it.

When you sell furniture to make bigger floor space at home.

When you replace your wooden doors with mirrored ones.

When you have top ramen all over the floor from opening the bag with a kiai and a chop.

When your home no longer contains furniture & implements - they are now targets and weapons.

When your family no longer walks up behind you without making lots of noise first.

 

[Sarah]

When you ask your husband to mount you and he says, "Not tonight, Honey, I have a headache."

 

[dubljay]

* you say to the salesman in the store, "Nice pants, but I don't thinkI can kick in them."
* when you want to say "I'm sorry" and involuntarily bow.
* when you're practicing your arm blocks while driving down the highway,notice someone in another car staring at you, and suddenly turn your block into vigorously fanning away an imaginary fly
* when you use various strikes to turn lights off and on;
* open and close doors with spinning kicks
* can't walk by anybody else from your school without casually exchanging a flurry of mock strikes and kicks

* find yourself practicing bo staff techniques in miniature with your pencil during dull meetings
* notice you never stand with your arms crossed or your hands in your pockets

* tend to keep at least one flavour of martial arts weapon close at hand by your bed when you sleep

* Have the Urge to bow every time I enter or leave a room.

* When you call your professors/Boss 'sensei'.

* When standing in line you find yourself practicing some stance from your art

* When you bow going into and out of the bathroom

* When you are introduced to someone and you bow to greet them.


I'm guilty of doing all of the above... especially the stance in line and bowing in and out of rooms.

 

[Paul B]

Just one for the sword folk,

"When you practice chiburi after rinsing off kitchen knives(preferably the largest one you have"

 

[Sarah]

This is from my personal experience:

When you plan your wedding and honeymoon around how many training's will be missed and how close to grading it is!!

 

[bignick]

one time i came back to my dorm and took off my shoes and lined them up nice and neat outside the door and walked in...

also...very guilty of the bowing...or automatically answering yes sir/ma'am

 

[SenseiBear]

When you're dead.

 

[Lisa]

When you buy your kids weapons for xmas...

When you think the little karateka xmas decorations are a must have...

(ahem... guilty of the above :uhyeah: )

 

[kenpo tiger]

When you think the little karateka xmas decorations are a must have...
Nalia, They're not??!!

 

[Lisa]

Nalia, They're not??!!

glad someone else thinks they are too. I used to get excited when the Century Xmas catalogue came out!!!!!

 

[Flatlander]

When you have an imaginary nemesis which attacks you everytime he catches you alone, and disappears when others enter the room (stay aware or he'll get you)......

 

[Mark Weiser]

• During Checkout of the store when you toss the currency in the air and try to catch it with your thumb and forefinger.
• Someone tells you good dance moves as you practice foot techniques while waiting in line.
• You hit your co worker in the head with a knife hand after they jump out from behind the door causing them to see stars.
• When you buy extra Karate uniforms to use as sleepwear
• When you start yelling at the tv screen or movie screen. Hell I could have done that no sweat or you give pointers to the audience.
• Start jump kicking light strings from the overhead lamp to see if you can turn it off.
• When you walk into rooms and start to take inventory of how many weapons are available if something happens.

 

[Kenpo Mama]

One for the kenpo folkdom -

When you steer your car with your knees after the light turns green to finish finger set!

Donna :ultracool

 

[TigerWoman]

When you have more uniforms than regular clothes

When you have every possible brace for every possible joint.

When you have a complete medical kit in your MA bag.

When you never have too much ache cream

When you buy ibuprofen in the industrial size.

When you have boxes and boxes of boards that you're not willing to give up because even the worst can be palm struck

When you keep all the boards that you've broken during your tests.

When your office looks like a complete gym

When you have bought every gadget out there for abs (almost)

When your neighbors are leery of you because you practice form in the yard and go the mailbox in your uniform

When there is no category for the over 50 people in tournaments arrghhh

Sorry, this was supposed to be funny, and is now depressing me.
TW

 

[ThatWasAKick]

QUOTE: When you have an imaginary nemesis which attacks you everytime he catches you alone, and disappears when others enter the room (stay aware or he'll get you)......

QUOTE: When you buy extra karate uniforms to use as pajamas

artyon:
Yep yep yep ROFLOL - and of course you practice stances in line.

When the first thing your friends say to you is "How's karate?"

When the most common thing you hear from your relatives is, "Now, tell me again, why do you do that stuff?"

 

[Tkang_TKD]

When you have every possible brace for every possible joint.

When you never have too much ache cream

When you buy ibuprofen in the industrial size.

When you keep all the boards that you've broken during your tests.

When your office looks like a complete gym

When your neighbors are leery of you because you practice form in the yard and go the mailbox in your uniform

When there is no category for the over 50 people in tournaments arrghhh

LOL! Guilty of all these ones with slight modifications:

All my boards are kept, and autographed by my Grand Master

My office is ok, but my garage has everything from free weights to free-standing kicking bags, and a heavy bag.


And to add to the others:

When you can quickly summarize the differences between at least 5 or more different martial arts styles...

 

[loki09789]

NICE!

I was laughing at the one about the store walking because I got yelled at when I was working security for running through MA stuff when I was bored (not full out but just the 'remembering' and doing the moves in small ways)...he said it was confrontational behavior and inappropriate for work... Old retired state trooper who really stressed 'colateral liability.' I learned a lot from him (even if he was a grouchy bisturd ) about LEO/Security 'presence' and report writing. Good stuff to know for anyone in martial arts because it is about the 'language of litigation' and can prepare you for the after fight issues of LEO/Court...not to mention maybe helping out because of the LEO contacts you make when they answer calls

 

[KenpoTess]

I was carrying one of my unfired sculptures on my lap when we moved a year ago, sitting in the passenger seat of the car, I decided to work on the hand movements of Long 3, My sculpture was a seated artist holding a palette, She is now a warrioress sans palette.. I broke it off with my hand technique ~!!

 

[Enson]

When you have an imaginary nemesis which attacks you everytime he catches you alone, and disappears when others enter the room (stay aware or he'll get you)......

i have one too! :lol: