Worst/Weirdest Martial Arts for self defence?

[smiller2144]

Anyone have any Martial arts that would be completely useless in a self defence situation. Please give senario, result and explanation. Should be quite funny.​

 

[Shai Hulud]

As a rule of thumb, almost any martial art can be adapted into a self-defense situation provided you know how to draw applications and make personal tweaks to make it work for you real-time to meet real-life demands. I've personally had the pleasure of meeting a Xingyi Quan practitioner (internal Chinese martial art) who really knew his stuff and could single out individual tactics from his art's several forms and string them all together impromptu.

I think the issue here's about understanding. Funnily but also tragically, there are a number of people following traditional martial arts, or critics thereof, who don't appreciate the importance of forms/kata's/poomsae's and their textbook/reference-like role in teaching a particular style. Sometimes people treat them like random fight choreographies or haphazard demonstrations of real-life applications. That can lead to funny outcomes, like the Baguazhang practitioner who actually thinks he/she should encircle his/her opponent in a circle during a fight, or the Taichi practitioner who moves like a zombie and hits like a wet towel in a fight.

 

[drop bear]

It is not the style it is the practitioner. All martial arts have validity. And then there is yellow bamboo.

 

[drop bear]

 

[Shai Hulud]

I'll be needing a cognac after watching that.

 

[Xue Sheng]

As a rule of thumb, almost any martial art can be adapted into a self-defense situation provided you know how to draw applications and make personal tweaks to make it work for you real-time to meet real-life demands. I've personally had the pleasure of meeting a Xingyi Quan practitioner (internal Chinese martial art) who really knew his stuff and could single out individual tactics from his art's several forms and string them all together impromptu.

I think the issue here's about understanding. Funnily but also tragically, there are a number of people following traditional martial arts, or critics thereof, who don't appreciate the importance of forms/kata's/poomsae's and their textbook/reference-like role in teaching a particular style. Sometimes people treat them like random fight choreographies or haphazard demonstrations of real-life applications. That can lead to funny outcomes, like the Baguazhang practitioner who actually thinks he/she should encircle his/her opponent in a circle during a fight, or the Taichi practitioner who moves like a zombie and hits like a wet towel in a fight.

I am an CIMA guy and sadly what you are saying about Baguazhang and Taijiquan are true, but find one that knows what he/she is doing and it is an entirely different story. As for Xingyiquan, the various forms should be linked together in random order if necessary. It would rarely go in order of the trained linking forms. I have come across fewer ineffective Xingyi practitioners than Taiji or Bagua, but then I have come across few Xingyi people that Taiji or bagua by comparison.

 

[RTKDCMB]

There's always these guys:

 

[Xue Sheng]

Also this guy

 

[tshadowchaser]

I'm not sure if I would call those two videos funny or sad. If I had seen the as a youth I might never have studied the arts.
Sorry I have nothing to add to this thread but it is a good thread and interesting

 

[Shai Hulud]

I am an CIMA guy and sadly what you are saying about Baguazhang and Taijiquan are true, but find one that knows what he/she is doing and it is an entirely different story. As for Xingyiquan, the various forms should be linked together in random order if necessary. It would rarely go in order of the trained linking forms. I have come across fewer ineffective Xingyi practitioners than Taiji or Bagua, but then I have come across few Xingyi people that Taiji or bagua by comparison.

That Xingyi fellow really seemed to know his stuff. At times I couldn't see his "Santishi" posture anymore but he made it work effectively for him, which I think is a little more important here. I've never taken up CIMA before, but I have a soft spot for Xingyi Quan. I like how minimalist it is and how it can compress all its variations and applications into five simple techniques and work from there.

You're right though when you say that last bit. This one's the only Xingyi practitioner I've met in comparison to Taiji. Which is a shame, I think it's an art as beautiful and economically graceful as it is direct and brutal.

I also shamelessly admit that I like to believe that each of the five strikes really do massage the corresponding internal organs as the manuscripts say they do.

 

[Flatfish]

I think this, but, I'm a noob, so I don't judge.
Hamster style:

 

[jezr74]

The jerk is too busy finishing his act to help the poor woman out.

 

[Xue Sheng]

That Xingyi fellow really seemed to know his stuff. At times I couldn't see his "Santishi" posture anymore but he made it work effectively for him, which I think is a little more important here. I've never taken up CIMA before, but I have a soft spot for Xingyi Quan. I like how minimalist it is and how it can compress all its variations and applications into five simple techniques and work from there.

You're right though when you say that last bit. This one's the only Xingyi practitioner I've met in comparison to Taiji. Which is a shame, I think it's an art as beautiful and economically graceful as it is direct and brutal.

I also shamelessly admit that I like to believe that each of the five strikes really do massage the corresponding internal organs as the manuscripts say they do.

Whether they truly correspond or not I do not know but each of the 5 elements have multiple applications, strikes, take downs and qinna. There are also 10 or 12 animals, depending on lineage, bashi, depending on lineage and various weapons, again depending on lineage. But, IMO, you could spend your entire life just training and learning to understand the wuixngquan (5 element fists) and it would be a life well spent (as far as MA training goes).

 

[Flatfish]

The jerk is too busy finishing his act to help the poor woman out.

hmmm, looks like somebody got butthurt…..literally

 

[smiller2144]

How about boxing for fitness? Against anything, come on surely fitness boxing would beat anything!!!
(not)

 

[Tez3]

How about boxing for fitness? Against anything, come on surely fitness boxing would beat anything!!!
(not)

Do you mean 'boxercise'? Something taught by fitness instructors with no martial arts or boxing skills yet they think it can also be used to defend yourself just because you are 'punching'. The classes themselves are fine...as fitness but never as a punching class, most don't teach them how to make a proper fist or not to bend the wrist. I've heard quite a few complaints of sore wrists because they are punching pads badly.

The kids are cute and moving.....

 

[smiller2144]

Do you mean 'boxercise'? Something taught by fitness instructors with no martial arts or boxing skills yet they think it can also be used to defend yourself just because you are 'punching'. The classes themselves are fine...as fitness but never as a punching class, most don't teach them how to make a proper fist or not to bend the wrist. I've heard quite a few complaints of sore wrists because they are punching pads badly.

The kids are cute and moving.....

On a serious note, at least it lets you practice very basic punches like jab, cross, hook and upper cuts but you need to do them properly. But a human is not like two handheld pads.

 

[Tez3]

On a serious note, at least it lets you practice very basic punches like jab, cross, hook and upper cuts but you need to do them properly. But a human is not like two handheld pads.

I find standing someone in the middle of the room and letting everyone punch them sorts that problem out.

 

[RowdyAz]

There's always these guys:

Wow. I don't know how I would describe that. Black belts aswell.

 

[kravazon]

There's always these guys:

This is so perfectly on that line between ridiculous and serious I feel like I must be missing some information. Please. Someone help me understand what is happening.